Are you married to a Dominican man?

[baileyboy]

I am married to a Dominican man, we have been married for a little over 6 months. However, I have known him for 5 years. We are in the process of Immigration right now, and oh joy what a lovely Immigration system we have!

We have our differences due to culture, and opinions, however communication is key, and is the key to our successful relationship. As soon as there is a disagreement, we don't let it go, we talk about it, and deal with it.

Can't wait for him to experience Cda, and to start our life together...in the same country!
lisa

[audboogie]

Hi, married to a Dominicano for 4 years, one child, the first thing that came to my mind when i read this was my husbands diet. He is reluctant to try any american food, and when he does he never likes anything. i would have to say breakfast is the hardest meal. He doesn't eat cereal, nor bagels, eggs sometimes but he has high cholesterol so can't do those every morning, the only thing he will eat for breakfast is pancakes but they are so bad for you i hate making them. Its not that we argue about this, its just kind of frustrating sometimes when you want to eat breakfast and theres nothing to make him. then for other meals, all he wants is rice and beans, and this can get frustrating as well. I get sick of it and its all he wants. Its also frustrating for me when im in the DR when i wake up and am starving theres nothing to eat but maybe bread and butter if im lucky. They dont eat breakfast usually, they wait for the big meal, Lunch to be made which usually doesn't finish until 12-1 in the pm.

[vince1956]

Originally Posted by audboogie

Hi, married to a Dominicano for 4 years, one child, the first thing that came to my mind when i read this was my husbands diet. He is reluctant to try any american food, and when he does he never likes anything. i would have to say breakfast is the hardest meal. He doesn't eat cereal, nor bagels, eggs sometimes but he has high cholesterol so can't do those every morning, the only thing he will eat for breakfast is pancakes but they are so bad for you i hate making them. Its not that we argue about this, its just kind of frustrating sometimes when you want to eat breakfast and theres nothing to make him. then for other meals, all he wants is rice and beans, and this can get frustrating as well. I get sick of it and its all he wants. Its also frustrating for me when im in the DR when i wake up and am starving theres nothing to eat but maybe bread and butter if im lucky. They dont eat breakfast usually, they wait for the big meal, Lunch to be made which usually doesn't finish until 12-1 in the pm.

Good reading also read are you married to a dominican woman POST 58 AZABACHE

[dresposa]

I am happily married to a Dominican man! It's 50/50 in our relationship, and that is why it works. He irons, cleans, cooks, just like I do. In reference to someone who mentioned her husband will not eat anything but dominican food.. my husband would starve then..lol When I cook, he's appreciative. We take time to understand one anothers cultural differences... and in some cases new opinions have been formed. It is a work in progress, but we are best freinds!

*we knew each other years before marriage
*met while he was studying abroad

[audboogie]

Originally Posted by vince1956

Good reading also read are you married to a dominican woman POST 58 AZABACHE

i don't get it

[jrzyguy]

not sure if a gay guy who has been seriously dating a dominican man for 4.5 years counts.

will not post a long thread if it is going to be deleted....however...i do have pleanty to share on this topic.

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by jrzyguy

not sure if a gay guy who has been seriously dating a dominican man for 4.5 years counts.

will not post a long thread if it is going to be deleted....however...i do have pleanty to share on this topic.

I'm willing to go out on a limb on this one, but I don't think the OP was thinking of DR guys on the other team.

P.S. Nothing wrong/bad with the other team

[vince1956]

Originally Posted by audboogie

i don't get it

Originally Posted by azabache
I have been legally married to a Dominican woman for 6 years, For the first couple of years it was a challenge because I did not understand certain cultural differences and the economic mentality of a Dominican female at that time. It would have been great to have had access to a support group for American men who are married to Dominican women. But since this was not the case I had to learn what I know through experience and observing other American/Dominican couples.
My marriage has been a great success so far because I have learned not to be at tightwad and to be more tolerant of her cultual differences.
I think it is important to remember these things about Dominican women:

• Family is important to her, especially Mom. She will do whatever she can to see that her mother has basic needs taken care of. Support her on this as much as possible. You will gain much more than the few dollars that it will cost you.

• Dominican women do not know how to manage money. If you give her a enough to take care of a week of household expenses, she will likely spend all of the money in 1 or 2 days. Do the shopping with her if possible so you can encourage her not to buy more items than will fit in the cabinets or refrigerator/freezer. Let her take a look at the budget to so she will know where the money is going. It will help her to control her spending.

• Never let her know exactly how much money you have. Dominican women are incapable of planning for the future. She will find an urgent need for any savings that you may have.

• It's a simple concept but Dominican women seem to not understand that a dollar spent is a dollar that they don't have anymore. You will have to patiently work with her on this.

• Try not to be suspicious if she puts on a bit of make-up and wears high heels, tihjt slacks, and looks really sharp just to do the errands about town. Remember, she's Dominican.

• Keep reminding her (by way of occasional flowers and small gifts or encouraging words) that you are in her corner--you won't be sorry. If you give a Dominican woman 100% she will give you back 110%. Try it.

• Even though many Dominican women will tolerate some "stepping out" by their husband. DON'T CHEAT I guarantee you that if you do she'll somehow know about it as soon as you walk in the door. It will erode the quality of your relationship.

• Don't be afraid to say "no" when in your good judgement a "no" is the only reasonable answer. A Dominican woman does not understand the word "no" if it is said only once. She will ask you at least five times. Don't get angry...just keep quietly saying no. If your no was reasonable she won't hold a grudge.

I'm sure that there are other important things that I have left out so anyone please feel free to add to this if you think of anything.

Just read the thread are you married to a DOM MAN and this one, if there was a prize for a truer word said AZABACHE would win first prize married to a DOM WOMAN
Audboogie i am married to a dom woman its like Azabache is married to my wife savy ha ha vince

[jrf]

Best read here in a while thx Vince

[trina]

Angel and I celebrated six years of marriage on Saturday, September 9. It's been six...interesting, yeah that's the word!...years, and we're happier now than ever. We have three precious boys and a whole lot of love between us.

azabache gave a lot of sound advice. The only advice that I would add to this is:

- Not to punish your wife/husband for what other Dominicans have done. Just because many Dominicans have 'mala fama', it doesn't mean your spouse is capable of doing the same things.

- Don't let things fester. If you feel like you've been mistreated by your spouse, talk about, deal with it, and then forget it. But. Pick your battles wisely.