 |
|
|
|
|
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above.
You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.
To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
|
08-02-2006, 04:23 PM
|
|
Bronze
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3
(10)
|
|
How close is too close?
My boyfriend and I met and dated all through college and we never ran into any cultural clashes (I am south american). Then 2 yrs ago we moved back to the city about 10 minutes from his parents. I never realized how extremely close he is with his family, but mostly his mother. I'm all for being close to family, espeically in our cultures, but they are often so involved in our personal life that it can be suffocating. He is very close to his mom and when he sees her he grabs her all over and kisses her all over- mind you he sees her at least once a week. I've even see him sit on her lap. His parents are very overprotective and like to be consulted on everything. His mother insists on bringing us food all the time, she has said she wants to teach me to cook like her. Instead of making himself something. I'm going on a work trip next week and his mother wants him to sleep at her house. His mother has suggested that one day we all live together. I'm very independent woman and i'm not used to all of this excessive attention. I never knew he was such a big mama's boy and now I'm not sure what to do as we talk about our future together. I'm close to my family, but not to that extent. I wish he would understand that seeing him this close to his parents makes it seem like i'm dating a little kid and not a grown man. Any advice or insight?
|
08-02-2006, 04:28 PM
|
|
Miami Nice!
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,057
(10)
|
|
Patricia...All I can say is you're in for a bumpy ride...
They seem to be like that all over DR!!! VERY tight knit families...and don't even get me started on the neighbors...
Are you gonna live in DR always? Maybe you need to get him AWAY...FAR from his family for a while...
Just my $.02! 
MQ
|
08-02-2006, 04:35 PM
|
|
Bronze
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3
(10)
|
|
We all live in NYC now so you would think it would be easier to have some space, but they live so close to us.
|
08-02-2006, 05:09 PM
|
|
On Vacation....
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,902
(10)
|
|
Maybe he needs to be spanked
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Patricia115
I've even see him sit on her lap. Any advice or insight?
|
Ask his doctor to examine for missing gonads 
Last edited by shadInToronto; 08-02-2006 at 05:16 PM..
|
08-02-2006, 05:15 PM
|
|
Miami Nice!
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,057
(10)
|
|
Patricia...you're welcome to come to Florida...
(Just wait until after Hurricane season! )
MQ
|
08-02-2006, 05:15 PM
|
|
Silver
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 233
(10)
|
|
if he was a US....
I guess he never heard the phrase,
"a son is a son till he takes a wife.....a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life!"
|
08-02-2006, 05:18 PM
|
|
Gold
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,734
(84)
|
|
When you marry him, you marry the entire family. Get used to it or move far away (ps, if you move far away, the family will resent you)
|
08-02-2006, 05:22 PM
|
|
Gold
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 650
(10)
|
|
Once a mamma's boy, always a mamma's boy. You will always come 2nd. when mamma call's, he'll always run, especially if he is the baby of the family.
It is sooo true, if you move, you will be resented. 
|
08-02-2006, 05:57 PM
|
|
Living Brain Donor
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 833
(10)
|
|
It could be worse.
"See how he treats his mother and this is how he'll treat you" or something like that, is how the old saying goes. If he shows you lots of affection, his mother is probably where he learned it from.
Sometimes 'too much' affection depends on how you, yourself, were brought up. If you were not particularly affectionate with your folks, this may seem a bit weird bordering on the obscene.
You don't say where you're from originally but in DR. my extended family, with few exceptions, show our love for one another overtly. Nothing strange or morally offensive about it.
But I see your point.The situation you describe is of a meddling mother-in-law that does not know when to stop worming into the relationship that you and her son have.
His mother must be made to understand that her 'little boy' has grown and now has a different woman in his life. But the bigger problem here is that YOU must make it clear to your fiancé that HE needs to talk to his mother about her intrusion in your lives, not you.
Depending on how he responds to your request is what will determine the outcome of this difficult and troubling situation you find yourself in.
If he has any common sense, he'll see what it's doing to you and have the 'talk'. If not, things will always continue 'as is' and you will have to decide if he's worth the price of an ever-present, interfering, pain in the butt for the rest of your life. Good luck.
|
08-02-2006, 06:02 PM
|
|
Moderator
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 10,935
|
|
OP sent me a PM saying the guy is Dominican
Last edited by AnnaC; 08-03-2006 at 08:20 PM..
|
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is On
|
|
|
|
|
|
(537)
