Can it work????? - Page 2

tk toronto · #11 09-18-2006, 12:28 AM

Umm, I think that you need to look at this situation carefully. I think relationships are things that need to be built over time and a few weeks is not enough time. I think you need to build a relationship with someone for a few years before you think of marriage. As well, if someone from the UK asked you to marry them after a few weeks, you would think that they were crazy. Men can be charming when they want to be, so just be wary of the charm that is probably being laid on way too thick. Talking everyday is all well and good, but that is not building a relationship, that's just phone conversation that I assume that you are paying for. I read a book called "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Berndhart, and he had something in his book: Always consider yourself the rule, not the exception. Not exactly a direct quote, but good enough. Basically what I'm saying is that although there may be happy stories, those are far and few between. As well, if you look at the happy stories, they have been built over long periods of time. So, all I'm saying is that this situation is asking for a major disaster where the only casuality will be you and your feelings. Please cut this off, or be very, very, very, very, careful. Wish you the best!

batich · #12 09-18-2006, 12:58 AM

24 year old (not 44? not a typo?) boy getting married to a 28 y.o. woman with a child...

Well, well...

Thank you for a nice romantic story anyway...

blitz · #13 09-18-2006, 01:01 AM

I have to agree with most and say that this is certainly not sounding good.

What people have said is spot on. You already know in your heart that this is something to be cautious about, that's why you are posting asking people you don't even know!

My advice would be to move on.... you must be living in a vacation fantasy to not see things clearly. At this point, you can end things on a good note and take away with you a pleasant experience.

Say you did marry and he came with you to England.. with his poor english skills, lack of education and money of his own. What would he do? Do you really think this would be a happy life for both you and him?

I suggest you take a few steps back from your situation and be sure you are seeing things with perspective.... open your eyes, take off the rose coloured lenses.

badpiece33 · #14 09-18-2006, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bettyboodles

My story started in May this year when I took my holiday with my family to the DR. On my second day I met a bloke who works at the hotel, we started chatting which progressed to flirting and we arranged to go on a date. After our first date we spent the rest of my holiday together.

Since i returned home we've spoken every other day and I've just returned from spending another week with him when I met his family and we had a fantastic time. I've genuinely fallen for him but i'm still not sure if i'm just being used. When ever we gone out anywhere I've always paid for everything. He has suggested we get married but i refused on my last visit but I am considering it for next time. Still not sure if I'm one of many girls helping to improve his standard of living.

I'd also like to look into him coming to visit the uk for a couple of weeks as if things do progress to marriage i think it would be best if he knew what he was getting into coming to England as its not quite streets paved with gold as most seem to expect. I'm planning on returning to the DR early next year for a couple of week with my daughter so they can spend more time together and get to know each other better.

I've read loads of bad stories in the forums and don't want my relationship to become one of them. With him working in a hotel there are new girls there all the time and i'm struggling to believe he's staying faithful and i do have my moments of jealously.

I'm 28 so i'm not totally niave and he's 24.

Can anyone offer any advice I'm trying to keep my eyes wide open but it's becoming more difficult as my feelings grow stronger.

Are there any genuine dominican guys who fall in love and are not after financial gain or relocation? Your comments would be appreciated.

Ok lets be realistic here, If you met a guy in the UK where you paid every time you went out would you consider anything serious with this guy???? I don't think so. Do you speak spanish? Does he speak English other than a few charming phrases like a parrot? He is 24 and your 28??? Of course he has other women both Dominican and foreigners. Keep it real enjoy the sex and stop going to Western Union.

Kyle · #15 09-18-2006, 07:21 AM

ask yourself..is this glass half full or half empty ?

danceaway · #16 09-18-2006, 09:00 AM

I never thought I would reply with an answer like this but after going down this same road, and hearing all the BS over and over, all I can say is change your home and cell phone numbers, block all emails from this guy, put all your hard earned savings into a safe somewhere and let your parents set the combination. if you see a western union office and its calling your name, run in the other direction. dont take your daughter any where near this guy. no, I am sure he would never hurt her, but he will play her to his advantage to suck you in and believe his lies. tell all your friends about this scam that is running rampid like a deadly plague in the DR. Swim for shore as fast as you can. This guy is more deadly than a shark attach. at least if you get attached by a shark you will feel the grip of his teeth. so get out of these waters fast. You have already been bitten and still havent felt the sting. There is still time to be rescued by the people on the beach calling out your name, and jumping in to try to save you. The people that are trying to save you are the people on this sight that you have reached out to, they are throwing up the flags and telling you to not swim in these waters. Even if you think they are cruel, and mean and just a bunch of smart a**es, I assure you they are your best friends in this situation. I thought not....but thank goodness, I got to the shore with only a flesh wound, and they saved me from my near death experience. So, now I only swim where I can touch the bottom and I always look out for the flags that say Danger. The DR is a wonderful place, no doubt, and not everyone is out to take you down, but just watch where you swim. All kidding aside, this sankie game will ruin your life. You have someone else to look out for who depends on you to make good choices. Remember the choices that you make now will have an impact on how her life will turn out too. you are not in this alone.

best of luck, danceaway

Alyonka · #17 09-18-2006, 10:09 AM

read this one: Not so happy story

You don't want this to happen to you and your daughter. Be careful. Men at 24 usually are not ready to be serious.

shadInToronto · #18 09-18-2006, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bettyboodles

After our first date we spent the rest of my holiday together.

Since i returned home we've spoken every other day and I've just returned from spending another week with him when I met his family and we had a fantastic time. I've genuinely fallen for him but i'm still not sure if i'm just being used. When ever we gone out anywhere I've always paid for everything. He has suggested we get married but i refused on my last visit but I am considering it for next time. Still not sure if I'm one of many girls helping to improve his standard of living.

I'd also like to look into him coming to visit the uk for a couple of weeks as if things do progress to marriage i think it would be best if he knew what he was getting into coming to England as its not quite streets paved with gold as most seem to expect. I'm planning on returning to the DR early next year for a couple of week with my daughter so they can spend more time together and get to know each other better.

I've read loads of bad stories in the forums and don't want my relationship to become one of them. With him working in a hotel there are new girls there all the time and i'm struggling to believe he's staying faithful and i do have my moments of jealously.

I'm 28 so i'm not totally niave and he's 24.

Can anyone offer any advice I'm trying to keep my eyes wide open but it's becoming more difficult as my feelings grow stronger.

Are there any genuine dominican guys who fall in love and are not after financial gain or relocation? Your comments would be appreciated.

First WTFDLHTDWI then bettyboodles, ol' cynic Shad smells a sock .... her/his writing is suspect.

If you are indeed real, you should be careful about introducing your daughter to a sankie ..... age is not a deterrent, they will try it on with 'yo mamma, granny, and anything that moves'

AnnaC · #19 09-18-2006, 10:19 AM

No socks, both are posting from the countries mentioned.

jmsunlinenet · #20 09-18-2006, 02:29 PM

On the face of it, it does not sound like this is likely to work out, but you never know.

Thousands of Dominicans ARE married to people who they met as tourists and SOME of them are happy.

I have been seeing a Domininan woman for almost three years and have been to the DR at least 30 times, and am very fond of her and her children, and I speak passable Spanish, though not completely fluently, and I am still wary about marriage.

Enjoy this relationship if it brings you pleasure, but don't expect too much from it, and give it lots of time, at least until the first flush of sexual pleasure has well and truly worn off.