Liberal or Traditional ways in a relationship with a Dominican man ......

[M.A.R.]

Originally Posted by Avrora

This is what a dominican man wrote when I asked the same question:

"By and large, we are possessive, jealous and controlling. A wife/ gf is like a child to us. We treat them with the same care and love we would treat our daughter.

If you try to assert yourself i.e. independence, liberated attitude, we frown on that type of behaviour. That spells the beginning of the end. If such modus operandi is continued, it's the death knell for the relationship.

The woman's input is extremely important. It's up to her to make the DR male feel loved, cared for or rejected. We Dominicans expect that the woman will take care of us as if we were helpless, defenseless babies.

If you don't display this behavior, he will take it you are apathetic and uncaring. YOU MUST SHOW WHAT YOU FEEL INSIDE. This isn't a cold scandinavian country where you hide your feelings. This isn't a rigid anglo saxon culture circa 17th century colonial America where expression is forbidden.

DR men are used to women showing their love via meals. Extremely important to DR culture is when a woman invites a man to a home cooked meal. Not a liberated gringa inviting a male to a restaurant. Man there's no bigger turn-off. Remember this is your boyfriend, not a business meeting to discuss budgeting and expenditures or the most cost effective fashion to import salmon.

You must do the cooking. That shows personal care, attention. DR men inside need to continue that maternal affection via the wife. Their male strength is accentuated by such behaviour."

This sums it all up. Good luck!

this pretty much describes them in the way that I see it.

When I had my first job at an office in NYC one of the bosses had a BBQ at his house and I was sort of in shock when I notice he was the only one doing the grilling and basically attending to the guests. Back then I thought there was something wrong with his wife I wasn't used to men doing any kind of cooking or any house chores.

Growing up In my circle all I saw was the men getting together and talking and drinking and the women bringing them their beer or just passing them whatever they asked for

[trina]

Originally Posted by M.A.R.

this pretty much describes them in the way that I see it.

When I had my first job at an office in NYC one of the bosses had a BBQ at his house and I was sort of in shock when I notice he was the only one doing the grilling and basically attending to the guests. Back then I thought there was something wrong with his wife I wasn't used to men doing any kind of cooking or any house chores.

Growing up In my circle all I saw was the men getting together and talking and drinking and the women bringing them their beer or just passing them whatever they asked for

When Angel first moved here, I was working and pregnant, waiting to go on maternity leave. He wasn't working yet, and he would stay up late watching TV. He woke me up at midnight once to tell me that he was hungry...let's just say he never did that again. I was pregnant, bitchy, and tired. Welcome to the Western world.

He's become quite Canadianized, and never has been the controlling type. He doesn't like to be controlled, and doesn't try to control. He does laundry (although he'll never fold and put away), loads and unloads the dishwasher, and cooks nearly all of our meals. He changes diapers, bathes the kids, is involved in their sports and schoolwork, and vaccuums. The only thing he doesn't do is sweeping and mopping floors, but I can handle that. Angel's mom was very sick when he was young and couldn't get out of bed for years - Angel grew up doing all these things, so I got lucky. We also have a Dominican friend staying with us, though, and also does his share around the house. They are both excellent chefs - in fact, I know several Dominican men that can cook very well.

I do agree that the way to a Dominican man's heart is through his stomach.

[M.A.R.]

Lord even now when we all get together for holidays, since the family is so big we usually do buffet style dinner but the wives always prepare the plates for the husband. I was the only bitchy one who wouldn't want to do that with my ex husband but on occassions I would do it.

[trina]

Originally Posted by M.A.R.

Lord even now when we all get together for holidays, since the family is so big we usually do buffet style dinner but the wives always prepare the plates for the husband. I was the only bitchy one who wouldn't want to do that with my ex husband but on occassions I would do it.

I never understood that - how the h*ll do I know what you want to eat, or how much?

[Alyonka]

A woman is supposed to understand their feelings and desires, to know what they like, want, need, etc. without them even saying it. They want 100% unconditional love. Men from my culture are completely the same - want a mother and a wife at the same time. The biggest thing is not to loose yourself and not to forget what it is important to you too.

[Toronto Girl 11]

Is it ok for a Dominican man to make my coffee or take out my food?
It seems quite old fashioned in the 21st century with a dual income family for the female to be doing everything....
What's the big deal if i make my own coffee and you make yours...
Dominican men , tell me why is this so important.......

[trina]

Originally Posted by Avrora

They want 100% unconditional love.

Then they'd better buy a puppy!

[Alyonka]

Originally Posted by trina

Then they'd better buy a puppy!

puppies don't cook.

[Toronto Girl 11]

unconditional love @ 100% ......ok ???

Are they just as intutive to their female counterpart i.e. their wife or girlfriend.

[M.A.R.]

Originally Posted by Toronto Girl 11

Is it ok for a Dominican man to make my coffee or take out my food?
It seems quite old fashioned in the 21st century with a dual income family for the female to be doing everything....
What's the big deal if i make my own coffee and you make yours...
Dominican men , tell me why is this so important.......

read Avrora's response she hit it right on - this is how you show him your affection by tending to his needs, e.g. making sure his clothes are always clean and ironed, his coffee is ready in the morning, his food is on the table when he comes home etc etc.

wow I see this behavior allllll the time with my sister in law and my brother. He works all day and provides for his family 100% but he does not move a finger once he gets home and she's the traditional wife who does everything for him. she might nag about certain things but his food is always on the table, of course rice everyday of the year and all the other things "wives' do".