Liberal or Traditional ways in a relationship with a Dominican man ...... - Page 3

Alyonka · #21 10-06-2006, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toronto Girl 11

unconditional love @ 100% ......ok ???

Are they just as intutive to their female counterpart i.e. their wife or girlfriend.

I am sure they can be. It depends I guess. If he is serious about you - he will make an effort to get to know you really well. He will pay attention to what you like, what makes you happy or not happy. If he does not do it - that means he does not care and it is better not to talk to him at all.

miamor · #22 10-06-2006, 04:36 PM

My novio is Dominican born and raised (still in RD and before the question is asked, he is a good man so please don't even think of insulting him). I have to admit that we have had a discussion or two about the fact that I am an independent woman who works and takes care of myself in a modern country that expects women to be independant. We have talked about what it means to be partners and a team. He has his moments of wanting to be a bit over protective of me, but I also have my moments when I want to baby him. Basically it always come down to the same points. I am who I am, he is who he is and we can't and don't want to change each other. We have only been together one and a half years and since that is over a great distance we are taking it slowly and still consider ourselves in the getting to know each other stage, so I am no expert but I think it is like everyone has said, it depends how serious you are, how serious he is and what compromises you're both willing to make.

jrzyguy · #23 10-06-2006, 09:20 PM

I been dating/seeing a domincan for 4 years here in my area.

I agree about the whole food thing. ITs always worked for me no matter what nationality i have dated (im a pretty darn good cook).

We really connect when we are in the kitchen. When we first started hanging out he hated my rice and beans. To this day i leave the rice in his hands (gives him the feeling he's the expert)...but i have mastered his recipie for beans. I have cooked everything under the sun for him from spanish, italian, asian, fish....everything but pork (he wont eat it).

One thing i have noticed is that he always has some sort of comment..."too much pepper..not enough this"...but then he goes ahead and cleans his plate and sometimes goes for seconds...so dispite his crisisism i see the compliment.

The one thing he once said (and he was dead serious)..."the problem with you mexicans is that you put too much jalapeno's in your food and that gets your blood hot and thats why you cant keep your women!!!" lol...has anyone ever heard of that one before? it still makes me laugh.

seriously tho..on another note...one thing that works for us...is that if we have an argument about something one night...its done with that night. I cant try to re-hash it again two days later. I am not sure if this good for everyone (especialy in a serious relationship)...but for me its been a good thing (as i used to be the type to not let something go.). I guess what i am saying is that in my case...my domincano doesnt like to be nagged...the more i push for something...i find that it pushes him away.

rendul · #24 10-07-2006, 12:11 PM

Get real guys!!

When it is a two income family, the men in these relationships, must learn that they are just as equal to the tasks as the women are. These men who are (in their own minds) machismo and deserving of all this undivided attention and subservience, are living in a diminishing world. Generally, in most parts of the world where women are considered intellectually equal and necessary for economic reasons, men have adapted. Unfortunately, this new understanding of relationships has not arrived, in any great degree, in the D.R.

Inevitably, it will come as more women are educated and understand their needs in life, just like men of the past millenia have enforced.

After being married for over thirty years, there is an understanding that develops where we each have our strong points and weak points but we are equal in all things.

Chirimoya · #25 10-07-2006, 01:11 PM

In some circles, the younger generation is not so rigid when it comes to roles. One of my sisters-in-law was married to a much older man who is almost a total caricature of the traditional latin male. One of the first spectacles I was treated to when I first met the family was when at a restaurant, she served his food, stood by his side until he had finished, and only then did she sit down and eat her - by then cold - meal.

I've also noticed that there are households where the wife doesn't sit down to eat with the family but instead hovers around, ensuring that those seated at the table have all they need.

Another S-i-L, who is married to a man her own age, is not expected to wait on him hand and foot in that way.

AnnaC · #26 10-07-2006, 01:27 PM

Many Dominican things remind me of the old Italian ways. I'm so glad I taught my sons to cook, clean and do the wash. The married one has three kids ( 2 years apart) and trust me it takes two not only to bring home the Canadian bacon

but also to raise those kids.

His wife is thankful too because she came from a European household where among other things the Mom laid out the cloths for the boys everyday

Alyonka · #27 10-07-2006, 07:46 PM

My sister is still living in the stone age back home - her husband can wake her up at any point in time at night to tell her he needs something and she gets up and brings it to him. He spends most of his time at home watching TV while laying on the couch telling her what to bring him and what to take away. She takes care of the whole house, him and their children. I never thought she would become like that when we were younger. She seemed so independent. I am so happy I do not live in that environment!

Toronto Girl 11 · #28 10-08-2006, 11:59 PM

Seriously, i'm not too sure how two incomed families do it....As previously posted, it is very important for both people to contribute equally whether it's financially or emotionally. You need a strong support system when it comes to making things work in a different culture realtionship.

I really do find it extremely hard dating a Dominican man with very, very traditional ways. He always says i'm liberal and independent but it's true..He's only been living up here in Toronto for 2 years so i guess there's many more things he needs to learn before he can be with me. It seems like a lot of work on a one way street........

Thanks for all your thoughts,
TG 11

zoomzx11 · #29 10-09-2006, 05:50 PM

Really smart Dominican women want nothing to do with Dominican men. You smarter than them, good luck.

Muchacha Mala · #30 01-05-2007, 06:05 PM

What's wierd is that white and black (american) men love Dominican women!!! They absolutely adore us. Now, my father is Jamaican and they are macho too, not all, but the one's that i know are. So i am not gearing this comment toward West Indian men period. White, and Black American men do not always get that b/c in the American culture its "what have you done for me lately?"

Funny, but true stories...

I had just started dating this dude (black) form virginia. He came over my house, and I was about to fry me some chicken, so naturally i offered him some.. suddenly there were stars in his eyes. He was like "damn ma, you just offer me food , you know how to take care of your man".

Another example is this other guy (which happens to be my baby daddy, hahaha) who is half Rican and half Black. He came over my mother's house to hang out, and my aunt was cooking. So while he was watching the game, I fixed him a big plate. He said "Damn ma, you really know how to take care of a ni#$a!" hahahah

To make lots of short stories even shorter, Dominican women know how to take care of our men, hint hint ladies, he does not HAVE to be Dominican.