today was the day

MaineGirl · #1 10-08-2006, 04:31 PM

As many of you know I was supposed to get married today. As I read the stories in this forum I feel it is my duty to say why I didn't get married.

First, I was promised many things and because I placed my trust in him, of course, I believed him.

The promises seemed legitimate at the time, and we continued down our path.

He agreed to take me on several trips, and one by one, the trips would come and go--he would go and I would stay home. I was disappointed, because my passion is seeing the world and interaction with people from other cultures. However, I dutifully stayed home because I knew his children needed a parent. I had to remind him to call them every day--I began to understand why they were so nervous about life--they had no parents to reassure them.

Many of his business plans that he told me about seemed to fizzle out. Lots of enthusiasm and then, nothing, moved on to the next idea. I think we burned through 4 expensive ideas, three of which were in development, quite expensive development. The fourth actually paid him money, but not enough money for a family of four.

I made a clear commitment to him and his family yet he often questioned my intentions. "Do you love me?" "Will you marry me?" became daily questions, and trust me, it began to get old.

Last but not least when my family got to know him better, there were a few of my siblings who sat me down and gave me the straight talk: listen, there is something not quite right about this--GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

Sadly, I had already cashed in my 401k to help support the family while he "worked on his business plans".

When I finally rented out my property he asked me for the money to pay for another business deal. He told me that the business was a "gift" to me--but I was going to pay for it.

It all became very frustrating to me, and I did the tough thing, and broke it oiff. Tough because there were kids involved.

Happily, since that time (July) I have moved on!

I write this cautionary tale to ALL women.

It can happen to anyone. Recently I watched a show on TV about a girl who was scammed out of her retirement by a guy who was already married to two other women. He married her, and talked her into getting the money out for trips, cars, etc.

Luckily I lost just a little money, and of course, my pride was wounded--but on the other hand, imagine if we had continued down the path we were on? I would have lost my house and property and probably watched him burn through other people's money as well.

So, as I sit and read the stories on here today, I just want everyone who "falls in love" to get their head out of their ass and to see the forest for the trees.

A good man can be trusted with your life, and if he does love you, he'll do anything to help you meet your needs. He won't take from you, lie to you, or guilt trip you into action.

Be wise, ladies. I plead temporary insanity, but I also know that what he offered seemed "too good to be true" and it was.

MaineGirl

ps. if there is not enough Dominican content, Anna--consider this--he told me we could move there, promised it over and over--and in reality he had no intentions of doing it. And as we all know, I always return to the DR.

shadInToronto · #2 10-08-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaineGirl

As many of you know I was supposed to get married today. As I read the stories in this forum I feel it is my duty to say why I didn't get married.

First, I was promised many things and because I placed my trust in him, of course, I believed him.

The promises seemed legitimate at the time, and we continued down our path.

He agreed to take me on several trips, and one by one, the trips would come and go--he would go and I would stay home. I was disappointed, because my passion is seeing the world and interaction with people from other cultures. However, I dutifully stayed home because I knew his children needed a parent. I had to remind him to call them every day--I began to understand why they were so nervous about life--they had no parents to reassure them.

Many of his business plans that he told me about seemed to fizzle out. Lots of enthusiasm and then, nothing, moved on to the next idea. I think we burned through 4 expensive ideas, three of which were in development, quite expensive development. The fourth actually paid him money, but not enough money for a family of four.
I made a clear commitment to him and his family yet he often questioned my intentions. "Do you love me?" "Will you marry me?" became daily questions, and trust me, it began to get old.

Last but not least when my family got to know him better, there were a few of my siblings who sat me down and gave me the straight talk: listen, there is something not quite right about this--GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

Sadly, I had already cashed in my 401k to help support the family while he "worked on his business plans".

When I finally rented out my property he asked me for the money to pay for another business deal. He told me that the business was a "gift" to me--but I was going to pay for it.

It all became very frustrating to me, and I did the tough thing, and broke it oiff. Tough because there were kids involved.

Happily, since that time (July) I have moved on!

I write this cautionary tale to ALL women.

It can happen to anyone. Recently I watched a show on TV about a girl who was scammed out of her retirement by a guy who was already married to two other women. He married her, and talked her into getting the money out for trips, cars, etc.

Luckily I lost just a little money, and of course, my pride was wounded--but on the other hand, imagine if we had continued down the path we were on? I would have lost my house and property and probably watched him burn through other people's money as well.

So, as I sit and read the stories on here today, I just want everyone who "falls in love" to get their head out of their ass and to see the forest for the trees.

A good man can be trusted with your life, and if he does love you, he'll do anything to help you meet your needs. He won't take from you, lie to you, or guilt trip you into action.

Be wise, ladies. I plead temporary insanity, but I also know that what he offered seemed "too good to be true" and it was.

MaineGirl

ps. if there is not enough Dominican content, Anna--consider this--he told me we could move there, promised it over and over--and in reality he had no intentions of doing it. And as we all know, I always return to the DR.

Good luck as you've learned "if he's too good to be true, he's a low-life". No decent man would ask a woman for help, remember that with your next guy. A real man takes care of his responsibilities while a low-life pleads poverty and seeks help from a woman - coward!!!!

Hillbilly · #3 10-08-2006, 06:43 PM

Dearest Maine Girl:

I can only imagine what it cost you to write that post. Know you have my most sincere admiration and respect.

You are a super find.

HB....one of your fans..

mountainfrog · #4 10-08-2006, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaineGirl

....not enough Dominican content, Anna--consider this--he told me we could move there, promised it over and over--and in reality he had no intentions of doing it. And as we all know, I always return to the DR.

Oh, that's good.
For a minute I thought that you are talking about a Dominican.

Let's just hold up the belief that they are different.

m'frog

Alyonka · #5 10-08-2006, 07:05 PM

MaineGirl, you are an intelligent woman with healthy attitude. It is clear that you are so much better off without all this trouble with that guy and his children. You deserve so much better. You will find happinnes soon. All the best wishes and good luck!

vince1956 · #6 10-08-2006, 07:49 PM

Blogger: User Profile: MaineGirl Is this mainegirl a very beautiful lady she can do a lot better than that piece of trash she had before, best of luck next time THE OLD SAYING KEEP YOUR CARDS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST

Hlywud · #7 10-09-2006, 09:23 AM

Even though I do not know you, you are a winner for getting out of what could have been a life long mess, you have my most sincere admiration and respect. His loss is the worlds gain and a lovely young lady like you should and will have you picking. Good luck

AnnaC · #8 10-09-2006, 09:26 AM

Amity,
I'm so so sad I could cry. You've been on my mind and I was going to write to you because you haven't posted for a while but now I can understand why.

You're a beautiful intelligent women and you don't desire this that's for sure. No one deserves that.

Hugs and prayers dear

AZB · #9 10-09-2006, 11:25 AM

Is this the guy who was at eddy's party,playing pool in the back? I don't remember seeing him talking to anyone. You 2 were a world apart, you are so out-going and friendly while he kept to himself and didn't even bother introducing himself to anyone. In anycase, I thought you were way too good for him.
I wish you happiness and lots of luck in your new ambitions. By the way, when are you coming this way, santiago? Just wondering

.
AZB

Hillbilly · #10 10-09-2006, 12:44 PM

Down, AZB, down!!!

The sad thing is there was a little girl involved and that is what hurts the most. She was so sweet and so sad...never smiled....I thought it odd at that time...

I know MG will get through this, and she knows I love her to pieces, (Yeah, I am part of the mob) and I also know that she is more worried about that little girl than anything else....wish there was something i could do...

HB