Advice needed - Page 2

stormer · #11 10-16-2006, 07:20 PM

Celery,
You are going to do what you want, regardless of what others on this website tell you. Go with your gut, you do only live once, just don't be surprized to hear, we told you so....

Hillbilly · #12 10-16-2006, 08:11 PM

stormer": it is not her gut that she is thinking with. I am so afraid that it is a little bit lower....

The sad thing is that the guy is just not for her....no education, none.
He has a good line and a good body....period.

HB

dv8 · #13 10-16-2006, 08:22 PM

she's not writing back.... must think we are a bunch of old sarcastic b******s....

#14 10-16-2006, 08:57 PM

Hi Celery-

I can tell you that when I was 23 (I am 26 now) I had no clue what the hell I wanted out of life and that was only 3 years ago. SO MUCH HAS CHANGED! You are definitly not alone there most young people and even older adults still feel that way. But to move thousands of miles away from everything is a HUGE step! The question that I would pose to yourself is "what will YOU gain from moving there."

I have recently met a guy out there too and we have been talking on the phone almost daily. Although I am not contemplating a move by any means, I question myself with "what the hell am I doing establishing a connection with a person that I know will never work out". I know that every situation is different but what does he have to offer you? Like me you are probably thinking that love is all that is important but that poses another question, "how do you know he really loves you?"

The whole Sakie thing has nothing to do with it. There are dogs all over the world and believe me I have met more than a few in the US. Guess the point to my long winded post is that you need to do what is best for YOU and YOUR future. If you think that moving to the DR is the best move you can make on a personal and professional level then go for it! Otherwise, if you are moving there to solely be with him you better think again and think hard. You are the one who has EVERYTHING to lose here, not him. Give it some time; 7 months is neraly not enough time to make a decision like this one.

Hope that helps a little! And sorry everyone for the super long comment

CD

Audra · #15 10-16-2006, 09:12 PM

Welcome, you've come to the right place for advice. What you do with it is up to you.

I suggest you keep the relationship at a distance, that is a hard thing to do. If you can make it another 6 months, go back for 4 weeks, then see what its like. He will ask you for something, you'll see. The signs are there.

Trust me on this one. Good luck.

DavidZ · #16 10-16-2006, 10:09 PM

C'mon everyone..is there really any sane advice to give anyone, especially an eductaed 23 year old, when she asks "should I give up everything and move to the Dominican Republic to be with a Sankie"...other than.... NOOOOOOOOO!!!

billyidol · #17 10-16-2006, 10:33 PM

why would you complete a degree that probably cost you $30-40k to attempt to find work in a low paying country. This is my concern about women...you have it wrong on occasion. Stop listening to your heart / emotions and think with your head. Sadly, it truly sounds like you've suspended your ability to think critically (which you should have mastered at college) to love someone you hardly know . After investing soooooo much time at college. Look, when i decided to move here i saved and saved; bought my house outright and have a financial bed to lie upon so i can survive in this country. Use your head and think carefully!

mountainfrog · #18 10-16-2006, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyidol

....Use your head and think carefully!

Hormones permitting she will, but not at this stage.
The guy is so hot, she has to touch that hot iron (rod).
We shall never know about this happy relationship...

m'frog

Celery013 · #19 10-17-2006, 07:39 AM

Wow...awesome that there's so much feedback, but at the same time, OUCH!
What strikes me as being most interesting is that I never even mentioned anything at all about my guy other than the fact that he exists and everyone is jumping all over that calling him a Sankie and posting replies about how I'm focused on sex. To me, it sounds like a lot of you folks got burned in your relationships and it's made you skeptical....understandably.

My head is not fogged....I'm weighing my options, and I didn't necessarily want to write a book in the original post so I kept it short.
1) No, billyidol, I did not lose my ability to think critically...
2) Easy there Hillbilly...I do have a little more depth to me than being lured in by just a good line and a good body....
3) miamor, you asked what I wanted to do with my life 7 months ago b4 I met him....

My plan 7 months ago was to finish college and take a year off to travel, and to find a job abroad possibly teaching english, and just enjoy life for 1 year. Then, go to law school in September of 2007 and that would occupy my next 3 years. I felt really awesome about that plan, and I still wouldn't mind putting it into effect. I'm definitely going to law school, and write now I'm working at a hotel, so moving to the DR until September is not necessarily life altering in my mind.

I'm not going to say that I'm 100% certain that all of you are wrong, and that my guy is not a sankie....b/c you do all have experience and this is new for me. But what i can say is that he treats me wonderfully, he pays for everything, and he doesn't ask me for anything ever. I've been dogged by a few jigglo's in the past right here in the US.....so it's not like I'm always smelling the flowers and viewing life through rose-colored glasses.

I asked all of your for your advice, and I honestly do appreciate all that you had to say, and the time you took to say it. Thank you.

Hillbilly · #20 10-17-2006, 09:09 AM

"write now I'm working in a hotel..." You had better study for the "L cats" or whatever they are called....

Okay. Here is why he is a sankie.
1) He works in animation at a hotel (or any young male hotel worker)
2) He is barely educated--he can't write a check to save his life....
3) He does not have any hope of getting a visa anywhere
4) He dates as many women as he can, hoping that one of the will go for his line and get him out of the country.
5) He has a "pre-paid" cell phone because he can't get a phone company to trust him.
6) He is always asking you to go see his family--this is a sucker puch for people from the industrialized nations: "Oh, they are so poor, but thay made me feel like a queen!!" "They are so nice and free with whatever they have."

Not to worry, you are not the first nor will you be the last....

HB