Advice needed

[dv8]

ok then, tell us a lil'bit more about him: does he fulfill hillibillys 3 golden rules for a good relationship with dominican? that is: does he have as much money as you do (in pesos, you 1000 pounds, he 1000 pesos) has a credit card and can write cheques? does he have the same level of education? (in this case ba) does he hold a valid usa/canada visa? or has he ever travelled outside dominican, for that matter?
answer yourself and think again.
doh!

[miamor]

Celery, yes the replies can be harsh and judgemental with limited knowledge of your b/f but that is because these types of stories are pretty common here, as you have read for yourself. I am trying to not judge, because I love a man in the DR, so I can understand how exciting it is and how appealing it is. But, I haven't given up my life for him nor him for me. We are taking it slow, slower than slow because if we're meant to be together, then there really is no rush.

You said you had a plan before meeting this guy and from the sounds of it, taking a year off before tackling law school is a pretty lofty plan that still holds appeal for you. Travelling and experiencing the world can be a wonderful thing, but the world is much bigger than just the DR. I am not saying you wouldn't learn a lot from the experience of moving, you would, but is that the experience you want? Please make a decision with all the facts - look at cost of living, standard of living, unemployment rate, health care, crime, government policy.....there is a lot more to a country than one person, so he can't be your only reason for making such a big decision and you have admitted that you have doubts about him. As the saying goes, don't put your eggs in one basket.

[qgrande]

Celery, you're getting lots of good advice here from people that have seen things go wrong too may times. Especially read Hillbilly's posts here and elsewhere closely. I do not think people do not want you to go to the Dominican Republic; if you're 23 a year in a country like the DR can be a very valuable experience before you start law school, especially for a political scientist, but only if you spend it to do something that is meaningful for yourself and your professional future. I do not think working in a hotel in some resort would qualify. You say you met him in Santo Domingo. That would probably offer more opportunities than somewhere else. But still, if any of the warnings Hillbilly mentions apply, or if he is not intellectually your equal (and being 'streetwise' doesn't count) and does not already have to opportunity (i.e. a visa or previous visit) to visit you in the US, where you will go to law school, forget about it, take it for what it was, and go do something more meaningful with those 7 months.

[mountainfrog]

Originally Posted by dv8

... outside dominican, for that matter?....

Forget about the Dickmanns.

m'frog

[dv8]

tsssst, i know, outside dominican republic. me just stupid gringa, me sorry.
can i have my sweets now, papi?

[Hillbilly]

I would suggest that the OP come to the Dominican Republic and visit some of the major law firms here. Pellerano and Associates in Santo Domingo, or come to Santiago and I will get her interviews at three or four places where she perhaps can learn a bit about the law and meet some "real" people....it's a whole 'nother world....

HB

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by Hillbilly

"write now I'm working in a hotel..." You had better study for the "L cats" or whatever they are called....

Okay. Here is why he is a sankie.
1) He works in animation at a hotel (or any young male hotel worker)
2) He is barely educated--he can't write a check to save his life....
3) He does not have any hope of getting a visa anywhere
4) He dates as many women as he can, hoping that one of the will go for his line and get him out of the country.
5) He has a "pre-paid" cell phone because he can't get a phone company to trust him.
6) He is always asking you to go see his family--this is a sucker puch for people from the industrialized nations: "Oh, they are so poor, but thay made me feel like a queen!!" "They are so nice and free with whatever they have."

Not to worry, you are not the first nor will you be the last....

HB

She's wright HB ... her guy's different 'cause he pays for everything, he treats her well, she visited his family who absolutely adores her, never asked for anything, wants to marry her, she returned soon after her 1st visit, ..... etc. etc. We've never heard this before, he's the one. Too many cynics here who were probably screwed 'cause they're so dumb. Not you, GO FOR IT girl .....

[Hillbilly]

OH Shadin Toronto: You are such a cynic!! LOL....

Let's see what she has to say today...I made her an offer...

Can you imagine her walking into the offices of Pellerano and Associado with her sankie on her arm and asking for a job?? OMG! Or trying to get a table at the Reina de España or the Museo del Jamon or Vesuvio's???? Next to the archbishop or perhaps thehead of León Jiménes???

Admittedly, the above paragraph is snidish, but unless she is an orphan and a sociopathic loner, I can't imagine her taking this person back to "Jersey" (and she hasn't said if it is New or old Jersey) and saying, this is the guy I'm going to marry!!

And I think she knows it....

HB

I'll be surprised if she even responds....

[canadiangirl858]

I love this, you guys are so right on. Ladies you need to be listening.