Advice needed

Celery013 · #1 10-16-2006, 01:05 PM

I met my guy 6 months ago on my vacay to Santo Domingo, and I've been an avid reader on this site ever since. Not gonna lie....while all the Sankie posts are awesome eye-openers, they are also incredibly discouraging. Needless to say, I went back in July for a week, and I just got back 2 days ago from a 6 week visit. I honestly don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but I do know I love him. I'm 23, I just graduated from college, and I'm trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.

Things would be so simplistic if we could progress our relationship like normal people...you know....get in the car and drive somewhere to go on a date, rather than board an aircraft. We were talking about either him relocating or me relocating so that we could be together. I don't really have any responsibilities here, so I have no problem moving to the DR to see how it goes. But is that the easier of the 2 options? I'm thinking that it's less stressful in terms of culture shock....I'm afraid he won't be happy here...

Also, what kind of a good-paying job can I land in the DR? I have a BA in Political Science, I'm proficient in Spanish and working on fluency. I have experience working at hotel/resorts at the beach here in Jersey, and I also have a year of teaching experience.

I'm aware that a relocation is clearly a big pain, no matter which one of us decides to do it. I just want to know which one seems more plausible. I'm a rookie at this and I was hoping that some of the old-timers could offer a few good tips.

Thanks!

mountainfrog · #2 10-16-2006, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celery013

... so I have no problem moving to the DR to see how it goes.

Do it!
Everything will go its Caribbean way from then on.

m'frog

BTW, welcome as a poster.

Kyle · #3 10-16-2006, 01:26 PM

if you have no ties in Jersey, i say follow your heart. sometimes true love only comes around once in life...

shadInToronto · #4 10-16-2006, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celery013

I met my guy 6 months ago on my vacay to Santo Domingo, and I've been an avid reader on this site ever since. Not gonna lie....while all the Sankie posts are awesome eye-openers, they are also incredibly discouraging. Needless to say, I went back in July for a week, and I just got back 2 days ago from a 6 week visit. I honestly don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but I do know I love him. I'm 23, I just graduated from college, and I'm trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life.

Things would be so simplistic if we could progress our relationship like normal people...you know....get in the car and drive somewhere to go on a date, rather than board an aircraft. We were talking about either him relocating or me relocating so that we could be together. I don't really have any responsibilities here, so I have no problem moving to the DR to see how it goes. But is that the easier of the 2 options? I'm thinking that it's less stressful in terms of culture shock....I'm afraid he won't be happy here...

Also, what kind of a good-paying job can I land in the DR? I have a BA in Political Science, I'm proficient in Spanish and working on fluency. I have experience working at hotel/resorts at the beach here in Jersey, and I also have a year of teaching experience.

I'm aware that a relocation is clearly a big pain, no matter which one of us decides to do it. I just want to know which one seems more plausible. I'm a rookie at this ... not to worry, you'll be a veteran soon!!!and I was hoping that some of the old-timers could offer a few good tips.

Thanks!

As a political science graduate you're well on your way to being an expert on screwing and getting screwed. Your internship in big time politics started when you met your sankie ... like good politicans, they're good with promises, but fall short on delivery. Now you're a believer and follower in your sankie's politican campaign, go for it girl ... move there, marry him, work in a low paying job, support him then in about a year tell us how happy you are!!!

Btw, welcome to DR1 ... I hope you keep posting as your relationship 'flourishes'

M.A.R. · #5 10-16-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadInToronto

As a political science graduate you're well on (1)your way to being an expert on screwing and getting screwed. Your internship in big time politics started when you met your sankie ... like good politicans, they're good with promises, but fall short on delivery.(2) Now you're a believer and follower in your sankie's politican campaign, go for it girl ... move there, marry him, work in a low paying job, support him then in about a year tell us how happy you are!!!

Btw, welcome to DR1 ... I hope you keep posting as your relationship 'flourishes'

1. such harsh words.

2.and from what I've read on this forum there is a lot of truth in this statement.

Sorry Celery but you are sooo young and confused. If, ifff you move to the DR make sure you know things could go wrong....be prepared to be dissappointed and if you are dissappointed just learn from your experience, it could only make you stronger.

btw: welcome to DR1

Hillbilly · #6 10-16-2006, 04:29 PM

And he is a hotel worker looking to make it big.

Young lady (sez this father of four, including one girl), you are heading in the wrong direction.

No way you can make a living here and no way will he get a visa to visit you.
Believe me, if he could he would and adaptation would be no problem. he'd go find the other Dominicans living in the area and and then you would be in big trouble. (Unless Jersey is not New Jersey!--then, he'd be out of his water, totally....)

Look, you are educated and he is not.
You can get a job in a gazillion places, he cannot
You can travel the world on a whim, he cannot

What do you have in common? ABSOLUTELY nothing!!

What are you going to talk about when the sex gets repetive??

Please wake up and let this be what it should be, a pleasant interlude of sun sex and quiet!!

Get on with your life.....

HB

dv8 · #7 10-16-2006, 05:06 PM

geez, m'frog, you are a nasty little toady with no belive in looooove!

gal, you will do better looking for a job in a big city, learning some responsibilities, getting some experience than coming here. that is unless your dominican is well enought to support you when you come and TRY if this relationship can work.

it does not have to be as bad as boys tell you, although in 99% of cases it is. if your boy is sanky re-think your position: would you, in your own counry decide to engege in a relationship with someone with no education, no good job, no perspectives (except getting hiv sometime soon)? c'mon, you can do better than that! and don't tell me that love is stronger that anything - it ain't.

if your man has a proper job, education and income, is intelligent, open and loves you - you can risk travelling to the other end of the world because maybe that's the type of a man you'd have chosen in your own country.

so - think first. and do not say there is nothing holding you at home, you have all your family and friends there. and trust me - it's hard without 'em.

shadInToronto · #8 10-16-2006, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.R.

1. such harsh words.

2.and from what I've read on this forum there is a lot of truth in this statement.

Sorry Celery but you are sooo young and confused. If, ifff you move to the DR make sure you know things could go wrong....be prepared to be dissappointed and if you are dissappointed just learn from your experience, it could only make you stronger.

btw: welcome to DR1

to get the message across. I knew they'd be a carrol from someone and HB was quite eloquent. I was being sarcastic when I suggested that she move there .... etc. Why would someone give up a promising future to be with someone with limited prospects? .... just CRAZY!!!!!

mountainfrog · #9 10-16-2006, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dv8

....it does not have to be as bad as boys tell you, although in 99% of cases it is.

Well, that leaves 1 %.

And:
As he is DIFFERENT from all the others, he is the 1 % stuff.
Congratulations!

m'frog

miamor · #10 10-16-2006, 07:07 PM

Celery, were you interested in moving to the DR before you met this guy? 7 months ago what did you plan to do when you finished college? If you have read this forum, you know that DR can be paradise and it can be the exact opposite at times if you're not ready for it. Going there would be a life altering experience, but be sure that it is the life that YOU want for you, not for some guy.

I know you're in love, but please be cautious because you're in dangerous water.

Also just FYI, I would give you this same advise if you were thinking of moving across the country for a man, not just to a different country. Picking up and leaving family and friends and the safety net that they bring is a huge decision so please don't take it lightly. You make yourself vulnerable depending on just one person, so please be very careful. I don't know anything about your novio so I won't make judgements on him, but you do and this is the time to look with your eyes wide open and make a decision that is best for you and your future.