my son's father is a deadbeat

[miguel]

Originally Posted by calico katz

You can critcize me if you want, I've been kicking myself in the rear ever since. We met , because we lived in the same town in US, And he was very sweet-What a sucker I am. Any ways, We have been in court a few times, and I filed contempt in September. He did not show, and it was a capias- a bench warrant. The only thing now, The court will wait another six months to arrest him, and then they will only make him get a job, probation, etc. My son is 3 years old, and he used to ask for his father, but now he just says he has a bad daddy.

Listen, you are in the best country in the world, so let the court handle his axx.

If he works with a legal Social Security number, his axx if "toast".

After the Child Support Collection Unit get a hold of him, may God have mercy on his stupid soul!!.

Btw, don't tell you son that his father is a rat. Let him find out for himself when he is older. Don't involve him because you never know, that moron, in the future, could change his ways and start wanting to be a father and ask for visitation with his son, even if just to p!ss you off.

Trust me, when the Court starts taking money out of his payckeck, he WILL start to think that he has all the rights in the world!.

[Kyle]

think twice before you open your legs....ancient Chinese saying...

[shadInToronto]

Again, I'm gonna say it, we're only hearing one side of the story. Couple of questions to the OP, did you try to negotiate with your child's father? and do you have documentation to substantiate this?

Many women after a break-up use their kids, lawyers, and the family courts to get-even and intimidate their ex. I'm not implying that the OP has done any of this, but without the other side, it's not possible to advice or form an opinion.

Lastly, the kid didn't just arrive at that conclusion that he has a "bad daddy" without hearing something. Keep the kid out of your issues and let him be a kid without growing up and feeling unwanted by a parent. There are family laws and courts to deal with these issues, use them!!!

I'm in a good mood today as fasting is over.

[tk toronto]

I do not think this is a Dominican man problem, I think this is an irresponsiblity problem with some men in general. Evading responsiblity is something that some men do, and it sucks that you have to be in that situation, so no matter what ignorant comments go up, such as "think twice before opening your legs", this man is still irresponsible and you having sex with him does not excuse him for being irresponsible. Hopefully the courts will deal with him before he ups and disappears to evade it. Later on in life he will regret it when his son knows that you are the only one that has been there for him. He will be begging his son to be in his life, and your son may not want him when he's an adult or even if your son does want a relationship, it will be your ex that lost out on a relationship with your son

[dv8]

primo, kyle, i said it before, i say it again, it takes two to tango, why not say that men should keep their willies all zipped up?
secundo, tk, don't let me to toronto and chop your head off with a macheta. why do you have to make it "men are pigs" issue? sure, some of them are, but some women once hurt like that would behave like firts class bitches and turn the kid against the father, request sky-high payments every month...

i agree with boys on that, calico shoul be careful with what she tells her son about his daddy, it's bad enough as it is. but she should never stop fighting for her right to have a decent life, without financial struggle of a lonely mother.

good luck, calico. this country is all messed up, lets hope that the case can be settled by more strict american court!

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by tk toronto

I do not think this is a Dominican man problem, I think this is an irresponsiblity problem with some men in general. Evading responsiblity is something that some men do, and it sucks that you have to be in that situation, so no matter what ignorant comments go up, such as "think twice before opening your legs", this man is still irresponsible and you having sex with him does not excuse him for being irresponsible. Hopefully the courts will deal with him before he ups and disappears to evade it. Later on in life he will regret it when his son knows that you are the only one that has been there for him. He will be begging his son to be in his life, and your son may not want him when he's an adult or even if your son does want a relationship, it will be your ex that lost out on a relationship with your son

She was a willing participant (perhaps a bit too eager). Do you know how soon after meeting this guy she was in the sack with him? do you know if he wanted kids in the first place? .... what do you know except the OP's side?

So many stories of women meeting "the love of their life" (he's different from the rest crap!!!!) during a 7 day vacation in the DR or in a night club, hops in the sack, gets pregnant and when their gem leaves start crying rivers of tears!!!! Yes, think twice before spreading your leags so soon!!!! Get to know whether he's a SOB or not!!!!

[Audra]

How did this thread turn into this?

The law is the law, pay up. Own up to your responsibility. Make sure the child is happy and is taken care of. This is priority one.

Who cares who is at fault. The most important thing here is the child.

[miguel]

Originally Posted by shadInToronto

Again, I'm gonna say it, we're only hearing one side of the story. Couple of questions to the OP, did you try to negotiate with your child's father? and do you have documentation to substantiate this?

Many women after a break-up use their kids, lawyers, and the family courts to get-even and intimidate their ex. I'm not implying that the OP has done any of this, but without the other side, it's not possible to advice or form an opinion.

Lastly, the kid didn't just arrive at that conclusion that he has a "bad daddy" without hearing something. Keep the kid out of your issues and let him be a kid without growing up and feeling unwanted by a parent. There are family laws and courts to deal with these issues, use them!!!

I'm in a good mood today as fasting is over.

Shad, let me tell you something, in this situation, there is NO side to any story. There's only one story. It begins and end with "the kid".

Whether the OP is the worse woman alive or not, she is looking for the kid's father to help HER son, not her.

She is raising her son by herself and she did not make the baby by herself. It's not only her responsibility to take care of her son, it's also his.

In situations like this, it has NOTHING to do with which parent is better or worse. It has to do with the kid's welfare. Nothing more.


It really p!sses me off when people make a "mountain" out of something so simple. Going to court to get a support order (hearing) against a parent is NOT as problematic as SO MANY people think it is. Shyt, one doesn't even need a lawyer to "start the ball rolling".

All one needs to do is show up at court with his SS number in hand and ask where to go to get a Child Support application.

After you fill-out the application, they will instruct you to sit and wait until your name gets called.

After that, a case worker will call your name and will interview you. There they will ask you all type of questions about the absent parent.

After that, you will be sent home and told to wait until they send you an appointment to appear in front of a hearing examiner.

After that, you and the absent parent WILL get such appointment and will appear together in court.

When you get to court and you get to where you need to go (the appointment letter tells you where to go), just take a seat and wait until your and his name are called into the hearing examiner's room.

There, the hearing examiner will conclude what amount of money will be taken out of the absent parent's paycheck and how much money he needs to pay in arrears.

Then the absentee's parent's employers will get a court letter stating how much money to deduct from the absentee's parent paycheck every week.

And after that, HURRAYYYYYY for you and your son!.

Btw, I am "talking" from experience, but I was not the deadbeat parent.

Btw2, I recommend you get a lawyer, BUTTTTTTTTTTT you don't need one if you can not afford one. No, it's not as hard as MANY think it is!.

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by miguel

Shad, let me tell you something, in this situation, there is NO side to any story. There's only one story. It begins and end with "the kid".

Whether the OP is the worse woman alive or not, she is looking for the kid's father to help HER son, not her.

She is raising her son by herself and she did not make the baby by herself. It's not only her responsibility to take care of her son, it's also his.

In situations like this, it has NOTHING to do with which parent is better or worse. It has to do with the kid's welfare. Nothing more.


It really p!sses me off when people make a "mountain" out of something so simple. Going to court to get a support order (hearing) against a parent is NOT as problematic as SO MANY people think it is. Shyt, one doesn't even need a lawyer to "start the ball rolling".

All one needs to do is show up at court with his SS number in hand and ask where to go to get a Child Support application.

After you fill-out the application, they will instruct you to sit and wait until your name gets called.

After that, a case worker will call your name and will interview you. There they will ask you all type of questions about the absent parent.

After that, you will be sent home and told to wait until they send you an appointment to appear in front of a hearing examiner.

After that, you and the absent parent WILL get such appointment and will appear together in court.

When you get to court and you get to where you need to go (the appointment letter tells you where to go), just take a seat and wait until your and his name are called into the hearing examiner's room.

There, the hearing examiner will conclude what amount of money will be taken out of the absent parent's paycheck and how much money he needs to pay in arrears.

Then the absentee's parent's employers will get a court letter stating how much money to deduct from the absentee's parent paycheck every week.

And after that, HURRAYYYYYY for you and your son!.

Btw, I am "talking" from experience, but I was not the deadbeat parent.

Btw2, I recommend you get a lawyer, BUTTTTTTTTTTT you don't need one if you can not afford one. No, it's not as hard as MANY think it is!.

No denying the kid is numero uno, but all we know is that the mother has labeled her ex as a "deadbeat". We don't know whether the guy tried to negotiate child support payments and the mother is unwilling to accept his proposal or he is unable to work due to the break-up or there are custody issues or ......who knows what else. We haven't heard the man's side in this issue.

I don't believe she is ignorant of the family laws and are unaware of her rights in collecting support from her ex. Not taking sides, but there are three sides to this issue - his, her's, and the truth

On a lighter note, them Yankees need Reggie back

[mountainfrog]

Where's the absent father anyway?
Does he work?
Can he be forced to work?
Could he already be in the DR and laughing his head off?

m'frog