DR relationship. When to pull the plug....? - Page 11

AstonVila · #**101** 12-16-2006, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by azabache

What a difficult situation the OP is in....decisions have to be made that will affect your entire life. I wish you luck. Members of this forum have an excellent grasp of what is probably going on but opinions here are not gospel. In my case I probably would not have married my lovely dominicana
if I had been a reader of this forum (at the time I met my wife) My marraige of seven years, though not perfect, has so far been very successful...no regrets. All the timing was just right. Was it just plain good luck or a blessing?

In the end it's a crap shoot...Americana, Dominicana, Brasileira...Relationships in America fall-apart, so what would you expect from anyone else? So count your blessings because some people dream of your situation. NOTHING IS GUARANTEED EVEN WITH AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. I know of a guy who met his wife of 5 years on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. They where married after a 4 month courtship. They both live in NYC. It's a crap shoot where ever you look... here, DR...it does not matter...I've dated in NYC and it's crazy...A freakin jungle...At least with the DR, hopefully the distance will keep you from doing something really stupid...Something about NYC women like sex and the city is true to a certain degree...

Most of the women want to go to 5 star restaurants and drink $13 martinis on the Upper East Side. It's not uncommon for dinner to cost $150 for two...

They will not take the subway, for fear of destroying their prada shoes.

Everyone is f'd up except them.

They claim they don't want a serious relationship but have already picked out a restaurant for their future wedding reception.

You have to make a certain amount of money or drive a certain kind of car to maintain an "image."

Unfortunately, one has to be in the game to get out of it...Do I sound bitter? Hell, yeah and you would too if you've been single in Manhattan for 4 years.

I have dated women from dirt poor to corporate wall street attorneys in the city and I'm still confused. I have dated upper middle class women with college degrees who where still being supported by their parents in more ways than one. Of course their parents loved me because at least now someone else can take over from the financial assistance! Professional women who suddenly decided to stop working after the first marriage, while their husbands struggled with over time. So, my advice is to find love wherever you can...but keep your eyes and ears open.

Buena suerte mis gentes

Otter · #**102** 12-17-2006, 12:14 AM

Enos
This subject is on this board 24/7. It is really hard, especially for American and Canadian men to understand the concept of the female sankie. We cannot accept that we could love someone and give them all the opportunities for a better life and they feel no gratitude or emotion. Well, that is just the way it is. This is common for them. The family is in on it. You are a paycheck, period! I married a dominican from the states, and the stuff her relatives pull in the DR and the things I hear blow me away. Listen brother, do what the people on this board are telling you, lose the number and do not look back. You are one of thousands my friend. Take a deep breath, have a cup of green tea and thank your lucky stars you never brought her home.

Berzin · #**103** 12-17-2006, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otter

Enos
This subject is on this board 24/7. It is really hard, especially for American and Canadian men to understand the concept of the female sankie. We cannot accept that we could love someone and give them all the opportunities for a better life and they feel no gratitude or emotion. Well, that is just the way it is. This is common for them. The family is in on it. You are a paycheck, period! I married a dominican from the states, and the stuff her relatives pull in the DR and the things I hear blow me away. Listen brother, do what the people on this board are telling you, lose the number and do not look back. You are one of thousands my friend. Take a deep breath, have a cup of green tea and thank your lucky stars you never brought her home.

What you say is true. There are some who say that DR chicas just see tourists as a meal ticket, but I think its' a little more complicated than that. Putting aside the "hot latin lover " myth for a moment, a typical DR chica will not be all that heartbroken if you break up with her. And after a while they'll not seem as interested in pleasing you as when you first met. Usually after the first 2 visits you'll see the change. This is when you have to get rid of her ASAP and go get another girl.

Even if you are sending her financial support for whatever reason it won't be enough regardless of the amount. Last month when I was in Santo Domingo I met a guy in the hotel lobby who said he was sending his girlfriend $600 US a month and she STILL could'nt make ends meet. If the story was true it just goes to show you exactly in what low regard these chicas hold their foriegn boyfriends.

helpmann · #**104** 12-17-2006, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

What you say is true. There are some who say that DR chicas just see tourists as a meal ticket, but I think its' a little more complicated than that. Putting aside the "hot latin lover " myth for a moment, a typical DR chica will not be all that heartbroken if you break up with her. And after a while they'll not seem as interested in pleasing you as when you first met. Usually after the first 2 visits you'll see the change. This is when you have to get rid of her ASAP and go get another girl.

Even if you are sending her financial support for whatever reason it won't be enough regardless of the amount. Last month when I was in Santo Domingo I met a guy in the hotel lobby who said he was sending his girlfriend $600 US a month and she STILL could'nt make ends meet. If the story was true it just goes to show you exactly in what low regard these chicas hold their foriegn boyfriends.

Very cynical.

-Helpmann

shadInToronto · #**105** 12-17-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

Putting aside the "hot latin lover " myth for a moment, a typical DR chica will not be all that heartbroken if you break up with her. And after a while they'll not seem as interested in pleasing you as when you first met. Usually after the first 2 visits you'll see the change. This is when you have to get rid of her ASAP and go get another girl.

Even if you are sending her financial support for whatever reason it won't be enough regardless of the amount. Last month when I was in Santo Domingo I met a guy in the hotel lobby who said he was sending his girlfriend $600 US a month and she STILL could'nt make ends meet. If the story was true it just goes to show you exactly in what low regard these chicas hold their foriegn boyfriends.

Your chicas must be atypical, remember this post Your Santiago and "el campo" Senoritas Time to get the CV ready? or you didn't complete the mandatory 2-visits yet? or did you? ... can't keep up with the contradictions

jaguarbob · #**106** 12-17-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badpiece33

Guy you need to wake up!!! Get your head out of your a$$ and go have some fun. She is playing you get over it and find some more good women, yes I said plural, Find some women. You always need a backup even if you have a great starter.

I agree...do what most of us living here do,have 2 or 3 different ones a week,and a steady that comes in every sat...no sleep overs,and pay them ...
variety is spice of life....and no one over 30...
bob

AstonVila · #**107** 12-17-2006, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaguarbob

I agree...do what most of us living here do,have 2 or 3 different ones a week,and a steady that comes in every sat...no sleep overs,and pay them ...
variety is spice of life....and no one over 30...
bob

I envy you guys, but career in NYC cannot be duplicated in the DR with the same compensation.

zak023 · #**108** 12-17-2006, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

What you say is true. There are some who say that DR chicas just see tourists as a meal ticket, but I think its' a little more complicated than that. Putting aside the "hot latin lover " myth for a moment, a typical DR chica will not be all that heartbroken if you break up with her. And after a while they'll not seem as interested in pleasing you as when you first met. Usually after the first 2 visits you'll see the change. This is when you have to get rid of her ASAP and go get another girl.

Even if you are sending her financial support for whatever reason it won't be enough regardless of the amount. Last month when I was in Santo Domingo I met a guy in the hotel lobby who said he was sending his girlfriend $600 US a month and she STILL could'nt make ends meet. If the story was true it just goes to show you exactly in what low regard these chicas hold their foriegn boyfriends.

I must say this post sums it all up...I coulden't agree with you more...

Luperon · #**109** 12-17-2006, 12:36 PM

A lot of interesting links on this site NoMarriage.com - honest marriage and relationship advice for men.

enos234 · #**110** 12-17-2006, 01:11 PM

Ok...I can't remember when I started this thread but I have talked to her several times since and, if nothing else, it has certainly been interesting.

I still get the impossible contact...sometimes the phone rings, sometimes it doesn't....messages from Orange saying to contact, straight to voice mail...everything under-the-sun. Daughter to school early and then to work until 11 PM. Gong show...!!

Any who...when I started this thread I'd been leaving messages and getting no responses. After reading all this and getting just plain weary of the gong show I stopped calling all together. Now, 3 days before I go to visit the DR I'm starting to get messages. At first I ignored them, but I've returned them only to get "no puedes contactado"....suprise. I don't care anymore so it is simply for interest sake at this point.

I'm finding this all quite humorous at this point. One of the messages was whispered because she was at work at not supposed to call from there "secreto". One of the DR1 members was checking things in Santiago in regards to her job but wasn't able to find anything out (good advice though, thanks for that).

I see a lot more stuff now from reading here that I never really notice before, not because I was head-over-heels or smitten, but I have maintained this was a long-shot and never paid enough attention at times not to mention the fact that I'm super busy at home here.

I never would've married anyone without knowing them better (especially in Cda b/c we're on the hook financially for 3 years with the gov't and can't deport a new spouse like you can in the US), and especially when there's a culture/econ/language barrier that would make success marginal at best. Too bad I couldn't have gotten her a visitors visa temporarily to find out if this would've worked but I'm glad to get have been let off a lot easier than some.

Now I'm left with just having fun from the advice I've gotten. That's what I should've been doing in the first place.

Still...no regrets. Very interesting adventure!

I have buddies comiong down on week 2 but I'm by myself at the resort/timeshare for the first week cuz I was planning on meeting up with her when I booked (wow is it hard to get people to come with over X-mas from here...chickens!).

What do you guys think about her coming to the resort for the first few days based on the "just have fun" scenario???????? In other words tell her straight up...I'm not going to the campo, I'm not bringing $1000 worth of gifts and you have to beat it later.........

Seems rude to me, but after reading this forum I don't know what's up anymore.

Cheers!! Happy Holidays!!