DR relationship. When to pull the plug....?

[enos234]

thanks! I've been there 3 times but I never drove so I'm not much on direction. Got to see Monti Cristi one day. I was impressed....Santiago Rodriguez was a nice place to visit as well.

[suarezn]

Go with your instincts and not what someone else tells you to do. You're the one in the situation and you're the only one who knows if she shows you love or not. Is she not answering your calls at all?

[2LeftFeet]

Hey Enos

What kind of phone problems???? Reception? I Lost it??

[enos234]

Phone problems seem to be legit cuz sometimes when I phone the reception is terrible, the call drops and you have to call back. This has been happening for ages. Other times its cuz there's no cash on the account I guess. Other times I get the message from Company Orange that there is no contact right now and to call back later. Its was way better when she lived in Santo Domingo. I had bought her a good phone and the reception there seemed good, but alas...that phone got busted in a fit of anger with an aunt and I refused to buy a new one. She's got some crappy one now. I found the phones there to be priced really cheap and my Motorola rep told me they cheaper parts inside of them then what we get here....I don't know if that's true or not...sounds like the old adds for stereos where they'd say, "really Sony guts".

I just talked to her and she is insistance about getting married. She doesn't seem to care about coming here. We've talked about living there as well. Seemly very causual about marriage and says its no big deal to take a leap because I'm a good person (which is true but I'm not as trusting as her). Is marriage in the DR more causual than here? I know there's lots of divorce here but it seems to be rampant in the DR. Everyone I talk to has half brothers and sisters (although many cases it was from a parent being widowed young). I don't want to go through some gong show to get divorced in a year.

I've gone into this with eyes wide open from the start (although I wish I'd found the site sooner). Maybe wishful thinking at times, but not naive....and...I do want to get married. Howver, it doesn't seem normal to get married without having spent more time with her first....but....the catch22 is I can't spend more time with her without getting married since she can't get a visa.

I'm can't decide what to do. It sounds weird (or stupid), but I keep hoping for something bad to happen so I can "pull the plug" but the whole..."what if" factor sucks me in....plus the desire to have a family (I really love her daughter too). I can't get passed the whole potential to being sucked in to immagrate to different country and not for sincere intentions.

I haven't read all the threads about sankies. Is that very common trait amongst this every growing problem? Women who move here and then leave their husbands to live alone or move to a urban area with a latino population? I would have to sign a 3 year contract to pay for that kind of mistake.....

There are cases in the news in Vancouver with Chinese women getting screwed over by bring men over from China and getting stuck with huge bills from social assistance.

[enos234]

Can you get pre-marital contracts signed in the DR that would be honoured in other countries? If not, can you get a visa in order to get married...I doubt it....wow, my eyes have been opened to how hard it is to immigrate here.

[enos234]

Originally Posted by Rocky

You need to find out exactly where that town is located, and/or it's actual name, and ask someone to go over there and find out what's going on.
Pay someone, if you have to.

How would you do this? I could find out the name of the store and the directions. She's even suggested this when I told her what I read on the internet. But how would I get someone to check? If my Spanish was better I could talk to her sister about the whole dealio but I don't want to seem like a parinoid freak. Should I just quite reading these threads?

[enos234]

Originally Posted by suarezn

Go with your instincts and not what someone else tells you to do. You're the one in the situation and you're the only one who knows if she shows you love or not. Is she not answering your calls at all?

I just spoke with her and she down plays the lack of contact. I actually don't mind it cuz I've been wanting to cut back to save cash. However, the lack of contact has been abrupt, not normal for her, and maybe even extreme (over 2 weeks one time and I was worried about her). She never had voice mail for ages and I left messages that she never returned either. That's weird....!! She always has some excuse like the phone is bust or she's been busy. I called last Saturday and her boss gave her **** for talking on the phone. No money on the account I think is a frequent problem since I've had to visit a Company Orange store with a couple of times when I'm visiting.

I'd actually believe her since she's working and raising her daughter alone (her familiy is not well off but very supportive- she gets some support from the father of her daughter but he lives in Santo Domingo and I think it is intermitant) except everything I've been reading and some familiar sounding stories.

Not sure what to think...I want to be positive but the whole thing is getting weiry especially since the visa was declined.

[enos234]

Originally Posted by vince1956

She was with a half-brother was with a half-brother

Ya, she has family in New Jersey that are half-siblings. I can't quite figure it out though cuz the ages are off for me to rationalize it all but some that is just languauge barrier. I think maybe her father had 2 families or his first wife passed and the kids moved to New Jersey with a grandmother.

It was kinda cute. She had been looking at me at the beach/vice-versa and she told him to come over to me and tell me that she was his sister. They both with children so they looked like a family even though they weren't. The weird thing is that he didn't speak English even though he'd lived in the States for years and had a good job as a bus mechanic. She told me he was too bright...

She has older half siblings that live in the DR. I believe her mother was widowed from her first marriage. This one makes more sense to me since they are all older than her. Then she has some sibling, siblings that are all younger than her. This time line I can dig, the other is curioso

[mart0417]

I would not put a lot of weight behind the declined visa. I have been told apparently that 90% of visitor visa's are declined especially the first time

[Audra]

How old are you, how old is she?

Can you live there for a while?

Always go with your gut feeling, it never lies.