Relationships

eralc777 · #1 01-01-2007, 11:29 AM

Just been reading a few posts about people who have dominican wives/husbands and then they found out that they had dominican girlfriends/boyfriends all along. It has made me wonder, how is it possible to keep a boyfriend/girlfriend hidden from someone who is around all the time?

Im sure it must be devestating to find this out, especially if you have married the person.

How common is this in the DR? And if anyone has been in this position, how did you find out and what did you do next?

Im so going to ask my boyfriend if he knows about this. I wonder why they do it when they are obviously going to hurt someone that they must of cared about....or at least pretended to care about. Surely you cant spend lots of time with a person and not have some feelings for them....right?

badpiece33 · #2 01-01-2007, 01:07 PM

It all comes down to this, You are only there some of the time and they do care for you while you are there,but then when your gone someone has to fill the void. Remember, Sharing is caring. So just enjoy the ride.

2LeftFeet · #3 01-01-2007, 03:10 PM

When I was a kid my ex boyfriend's aunt was married for I don't know how many years. She had children with her husband. One day she found out that he was married to another woman in another state. I don't remember how she found out-- but it was ugly!! He was a truck driver. He had the perfect cover. He had 2wives/2 families-- nobody knew about anybody until that day. Go figure!
No Dominicans were involved in this ugly situation and it was ugly-- 2 scorned women!!!

You would've never guessed. He was the loving father/husband--SURPRISE ---Just 2 times over!!!!

dv8 · #4 01-02-2007, 10:35 AM

i have to say, eralc, there is no way to know. you can trust a person but there is still a teeny tiny room for doubt... of course you could be played with your bf even if he lived in the uk, even if you lived together but it is much, much easier to do it when you are separated by an ocean.
so, trust and have hope.
no offence meant but you could be doing just the same, maybe even some friends keep on telling this to your bf. you know, what i mean? it's a sword that cuts both ways...

eralc777 · #5 01-02-2007, 12:39 PM

Thats true....I would never consider doing something like that, but I have been brought up with morals (Im sure some people would not think so after I have been considering marrying someone to save money) and when I love someone, I only love them.

From day one I told my bf that if he does anything wrong, I will kick his ass. My cousin said the same to him....and then so did her Dominican husband. So at least he knows not to mess with me....or my family!!!

AnnaC · #6 01-02-2007, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eralc777

From day one I told my bf that if he does anything wrong, I will kick his ass.

My cousin said the same to him....and then so did her Dominican husband. So at least he knows not to mess with me....or my family!!!

I hope you were more specific than that dear. What is "wrong" in your world might not be "wrong" in his, his view of morals may not be the same as yours either.

It's easy to tell you yes to whatever you want to hear but be more specific with him.

mountainfrog · #7 01-02-2007, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eralc777

Im so going to ask my boyfriend if he knows about this.

That's good.
His answer will start with:
"Mira, soy una persona..."

Quote:

Originally Posted by eralc777

Surely you cant spend lots of time with a person and not have some feelings for them....right?

Wrong.
You'd be surprised what and for how long a visa seeker to the 'Promised Land' can pretend things...

m'frog

eralc777 · #8 01-02-2007, 01:01 PM

Yes, I was more specific....I told him that if he cheats on me, or breaks my heart then I will kick his ass!!! And he is still around so maybe he doesnt fear getting his ass kicked!

I know we have different views on things, but we talk about everything and what we are both used to. He knows that I know about the whole sankie game but we have never spoke about his views on it and the things he must see going on at the hotel. I will have to ask him.....Haha, I bug him about all sorts on the phone.

mountainfrog · #9 01-02-2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eralc777

.... I will kick his ass!!!

Won't happen.
It's the other way round.

m'frog

2LeftFeet · #10 01-02-2007, 01:57 PM

I don't know how long you two have been together but relationships--especially beginnings of relationships are really difficult. Getting to know someone,and building trust at times is trying. It's exciting but at the same time scary.

Putting 2 different cultures together makes it more difficult. It's like playing a new game. You have to know the rules before you can start but we usually don't. We learn them as we go along. That's how we get into trouble. What's acceptable in your culture can be insulting in the others culture. I've done my share of insulting and hurting feelings-- unintentionally of course. Nevertheless it's still difficult.