Why reinvent the wheel

[mart1n]

Yes romance is very possible

I hear many horror stories about romance here. The problem that I see is the men are looking in the wrong places, bars, discos, etc. After doing same as most gringo I finally got smart. I got a motocuncho to take me into the countryside to find a wife. There are many interesting stories that I could tell. I set up a red flag system for meeting girls, If they had tattoos red flag if they could speak English French etc well, red flag and so on But I found my wife She could not speak English and I could no speak Spanish. I set the ground rules saying that don't ask for anything... I told her that she would have in time more than all the women she knows. I explained that the men from other country like to give and of course the girls get to know this and they want more when the man can't give enough he feels bad and leaves. Proving to the girl that all men are alike they all leave so they need to get as much as possible when he is there. We have been together married and very happy for 4 years. We have a beautiful house and everything that a person could want. I think people love reinventing the wheel. Why when it is not easy to copy success.

[Charlielyn]

I like your attitude. The women who fall in love with Dominicans should follow your lead. You are a good example.

[racergurl55]

Kinda sounds like you were looking for the right puppy to adopt...you actually set out to find a wife, had a check list and set ground rules???! Sheeeesh so much for the fairy tale of love!

[mart1n]

The reason for ground rules I was no looking for a girl that spend her spare time in disco or hanging around the hotels. I was looking for a lady interested in me and not what she can get. Most girls have no father role models they only know that man that mother keeps fighting with for money for dippers and milk. Most girls have no idea the role of a good husband. They are many examples of bad relation ship but not very many good. Most visitors here from other countries are amazed when these beautiful young ladies come up to them and want to spend time with them. The girls remember the problems their mother had so they try to get as much as they can before you leave because [ALL MEN LEAVE]
This is a belief that they have so many examples of. My check list was only to separate the girls and check their beliefs and values.

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by mart1n

... But I found my wife She could not speak English and I could no speak Spanish. I set the ground rules saying that don't ask for anything... I told her ..

If you didn't share a common language, how did you communicate to set the ground rules? Seems like you were on a mission. Good for you.

[mart1n]

The motocuncho did all the talking for me. I visited many times after and slowly learn a little spanish. It was then I told her don't ask for anything. Even to this day she dosen't ask for anything but I buy her what she needs. It might sound like I'm a cheap, but I found giving here is like giving candy to a baby they don't know when to quit.

[vince1956]

I have been legally married to a Dominican woman for 6 years, For the first couple of years it was a challenge because I did not understand certain cultural differences and the economic mentality of a Dominican female at that time. It would have been great to have had access to a support group for American men who are married to Dominican women. But since this was not the case I had to learn what I know through experience and observing other American/Dominican couples.
My marriage has been a great success so far because I have learned not to be at tightwad and to be more tolerant of her cultual differences.
I think it is important to remember these things about Dominican women:

• Family is important to her, especially Mom. She will do whatever she can to see that her mother has basic needs taken care of. Support her on this as much as possible. You will gain much more than the few dollars that it will cost you.

• Dominican women do not know how to manage money. If you give her a enough to take care of a week of household expenses, she will likely spend all of the money in 1 or 2 days. Do the shopping with her if possible so you can encourage her not to buy more items than will fit in the cabinets or refrigerator/freezer. Let her take a look at the budget to so she will know where the money is going. It will help her to control her spending.

• Never let her know exactly how much money you have. Dominican women are incapable of planning for the future. She will find an urgent need for any savings that you may have.

• It's a simple concept but Dominican women seem to not understand that a dollar spent is a dollar that they don't have anymore. You will have to patiently work with her on this.

• Try not to be suspicious if she puts on a bit of make-up and wears high heels, tihjt slacks, and looks really sharp just to do the errands about town. Remember, she's Dominican.

• Keep reminding her (by way of occasional flowers and small gifts or encouraging words) that you are in her corner--you won't be sorry. If you give a Dominican woman 100% she will give you back 110%. Try it.

• Even though many Dominican women will tolerate some "stepping out" by their husband. DON'T CHEAT I guarantee you that if you do she'll somehow know about it as soon as you walk in the door. It will erode the quality of your relationship.

• Don't be afraid to say "no" when in your good judgement a "no" is the only reasonable answer. A Dominican woman does not understand the word "no" if it is said only once. She will ask you at least five times. Don't get angry...just keep quietly saying no. If your no was reasonable she won't hold a grudge.

I'm sure that there are other important things that I have left out so anyone please feel free to add to this if you think of anything.


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[Don Juan]

Originally Posted by mart1n

The motocuncho did all the talking for me. I visited many times after and slowly learn a little spanish. It was then I told her don't ask for anything. Even to this day she dosen't ask for anything but I buy her what she needs. It might sound like I'm a cheap, but I found giving here is like giving candy to a baby they don't know when to quit.

So a motoconcho guy set you up with this woman. And at first "he did all the talking for me". So then, you visited her "many times". What does that mean? you had sex with her?
"even to this day, she does not ask for anything" But "I buy her what she needs" Well, why sould she need to ask for anything? You give her everything. and, no. you're not cheap. She's getting a lot, by Dominican standards. I hope you're getting something in return!

[mart1n]

Originally Posted by Don Juan

So a motoconcho guy set you up with this woman. And at first "he did all the talking for me". So then, you visited her "many times". What does that mean? you had sex with her?
"even to this day, she does not ask for anything" But "I buy her what she needs" Well, why sould she need to ask for anything? You give her everything. and, no. you're not cheap. She's getting a lot, by Dominican standards. I hope you're getting something in return!

What does that mean? It means I rode out to the countryside on my motorcycle and visited her and her family most time sharing meals. After a few visits I brought some rice, beans, sugar and coffee and gave to her mother. No we did not start out having sex. I started our house first to demonstrate my commitment. [you're getting something ] The answer is yes a very caring and loving woman that to this day we have not had an argument.

[eralc777]

Id be a bit worried if I was in a relationship where there was no arguing. I think its a healthy part of a relationship. Me and my dominican boyfriend argue over stupid things, but always make up and it makes us closer and then we understand each other better. If something bugs one of us, then we get it off our chest!
Just my opinion but I always thought that a relationship without arguing shows that people dont care enough - JUST MY OPINION!