Help me understand

korejdk · #1 03-11-2008, 10:59 PM

...please, since I fail to comprehend this...

So there's this dominican lady, she has 4 kids ( 3 kids one dad + one other ) who got married in the DR few years ago or so...the gringo bought a business, and started to take care of her and the two girls who were living with her...classic story, she wasn't content ( U know what I mean ), the business was losing money, and the gringo got fed up and left the DR about 4 months ago or so...since then she's been out in the open with her local novio etc etc...so last week-end I am having a Leonel on the playa with the gringo ( who is regularly visiting the DR but not for her ) and he was talking about it etc etc and later on that day I was talking with her ( please don't ask me the circumstances ) and she was going on and on among the lines:
-why doesn't he want to see me
- why is he not paying for my ninas's school ( he's NOT the father )
- how can I pay for rent ( the local novio lives there )
- he's my husband, he has responsabilities ( yet the novio doesn't )
etc etc
I was playing dumb ( "no se, no se" ) yet how dumb do the Dominicans think that the gringos are ?!? Or is she really that dumb to believe what she's saying ? I mean, my common sense was screaming "R U *&%$ing serious", he has no responsability whatsoever ?!?!?!?!?
I fail to comprehend this, I really do...

MommC · #2 03-11-2008, 11:25 PM

and the expectation that since she's married to the gringo (even if only common-law) he should solve all her problems. After all sex is just sex......and Dominicans do 'it' better!!

Chip · #3 03-12-2008, 12:01 AM

Two factors, #1 I doubt the chica is aware of all of what you know of her. #2 the mentality of Domincans in the tourist areas or those that work with tourists is mind boggling when it comes preconceptions about Americans/gringos. They are fed a steady diet of how rich we are and this is only reinforced by all the visiting family who come to the DR for two weeks with rented jewelry and borrowed name brand clothes who also don't bother to tell them that they work like dogs 10 hours a day 6 days a week for a piddly two weeks vacation. They do this because of the high esteem and attention they receive, so why spoil a good thing, right? I as a gringo who lives in Santiago can spot a North Coaster(tourister Dominican) a mile away, typically just by they look at me and treat me - It is almost as if to them I am not a human but a side of beef to be partioned as they please. In fact I thoroughly enjoy having a conversation about the realities of living in the US if they give me the time, and if they are astute enough will realize that I'm not talking baloney. Then again one of my wife's young cousin threw away a career as a surgeon(3rd year med student) here in the DR to clean floors in NY. He is smarter than most yet in spite of all of my counseling went and overstayed his student visa anyway. I believe he will be back when he realizes that he will never be able to have a place of his own or any real money.

There you go, hope this helps.

korejdk · #4 03-12-2008, 12:07 AM

I hear you loud and clear, yet I fail to grasp her logic...whenever I don't understand an ungle I try to place myself in "their" shoes or "their" circumstances, yet my math just cannot add up in this case...I asked my wife to try and explain and she told me " I do not visit mi abuela, only once every 3-4 mths since she is "asking" since we got married.I am at a loss...you got cheating on your gringo husband, yet you have expectations ?!?

fightfish · #5 03-12-2008, 12:09 AM

Maybe it is the seemingly total absence of the ability to link action to reaction, or cause and effect. In some cases this can be an attribute while in others the opposite.

Rocky · #6 03-12-2008, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korejdk

I hear you loud and clear, yet I fail to grasp her logic...

I'm going to get chastised for this one, but the short of it is that the female of the human species is not a logical creature.
To try to understand is ridiculous, and even when a female makes a logical decision, she still reserves the right to change her mind.
One would do a lot better by simply accepting, rather than trying to understand.

retiree · #7 03-12-2008, 09:20 AM

And many women think it's men who are not logical so it goes both ways.

Rocky · #8 03-12-2008, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retiree

And many women think it's men who are not logical so it goes both ways.

Then again, an illogical person could hardly determine who or what is logical.

leekiv · #9 03-12-2008, 09:35 AM

OK OP since you asked us not to ask I am going too! What where the circumstances of you "meeting" with her? I mean , not to be rude but you go on to say about her cheating etc,( unless I read that wrong, if so I have misunderstood), but it did make me go "hmmmmmmmm"

As for Rocky and women not being logical, well I think its a 50/50 split on that. To me its not the gender its the person. I have met many both male and female who are illogical. I have met many of both sexes who fall into many catagories, but I personally would not say that as a gender one is more than the other. Just my thoughts. Have a great one.

LindseyKaufman · #10 03-12-2008, 09:39 AM

I concur with leekly on both points.