my story - advice please!
I am new to dr1, and this is my first time posting, and I am not really sure what to expect...but I am hoping to get some thoughtful feedback and advice on my current situation.
I have done quite a bit of reading in this section of the message boards, and I am familiar with many of the sankie stories that are here. You all are probably tired of new people sharing their stories, saying that their's is "different" than the others - but I am really having a difficult time figuring this out.
I went for a vacation in March to a resort in the DR. I have done quite a bit of travelling around the world, and was expecting this to be like any other vacation - relaxing and fun. I was NOT looking for or expecting or wanting what I am about to explain.
On the first day of my vacation, I befriended some girls at the pool bar, and they introduced me to the bar staff...they had clearly spent a few days lounging there, and appeared to be quite friendly with them. In any case, this is how I came to meet (yes, tsk tsk) this bartender. He seemed nice enough and he was cute, and I didn't think anything of it. However, over the next day or 2, we usually ended up at the pool at some point, and he was always there...and very interested in talking to me. I love meeting people and learning about new cultures and languages, so I was glad to have people (but it was mostly this one guy) to speak with and learn new words, etc.
In doing all of this talking, I felt that I got to know this person fairly well - for a stranger - and I began to think of him more as a person than as a bartender. I learned a lot about his family, his schooling (yes - this one actually has a trade...he's a mechanic and has the perma-worked on car hands to prove it), where he is from, etc. Any free time that I had, I tried to spend with him because I wanted to get to know him better. He was very sweet and polite, and never pushed me to do anything physical - in fact, he asked permission to kiss me on the cheek, etc.
In the end, I had developed these very realy feelings for him, and I believe he did for me as well, as he was very reluctant to say goodbye and actually cried a little (which is weird, because most guys don't usually cry over very much?) He sent me a text msg saying that he was glad to have met me and that he wanted to keep in touch and that he wouldn't forget me. And of course, that he liked me very much. I was very sad to leave, as I felt that I had made a connection with this person - and I know that all of the women who posted here with their stories have felt this way!!
Anyway, when I returned to the snowy North, I became quite depressed for many reasons, the big ones being that I missed him and that I felt that I could do more good for the people in the DR than for the ungrateful students at the school where I work. I have been unhappy in my job for a while, but didn't really know what to do, until I got to visit a Dominican school and a Haitian sugar cane village...but that is for another thread! I started speaking with my DR man every night, and we talked about everything under the sun - including his daughter (he had shown me pix of her). According to him, he was in a relationship for 3 years, and they had the baby and all was good, but then the mother left the 2 of them 8 months ago, and now his mom is taking care of her while he is working. He drives for 2+ hours to his hometown when he is off, so that he can be with his daughter, and the reason he came to work in the hotels (only 2 years ago - when the baby was born) was because he wasn't making enough money as a mechanic in the town where he lived. During our conversations, he never asked me for money, or gave any sad story about how he doesn't have enough money - in fact he said that he would work extra hard to make more money, so that he could help me when I came back (I have been contemplating going to do some work in the schools there). He never asked me to help him come here or help him get a visa, or anything of that nature.
We talked almost nightly, for extended periods, for 5 or 6 weeks, and then everything changed. There was some trouble at the hotel where he works (he is not just a generic worker - he is a boss, and is in charge of the bar where he is stationed, and the other workers there). One of the girls that worked under him was fired, apparently due to a baligerent tourist who complained about her (when I was there, I saw some tourists treat them horribly - some crazy French guys actually crawled over the bar and threw one of them in the water...they are NOT allowed to be in the water under any circumstances). Shortly after, he was asked to oversee a different bar at the hotel, and they started asking him to work extra shifts in the lobby bar at night due to short staffing, etc. He told me all of this, and said that he was getting in trouble for being on the phone while he was working (I called a lot when he was working, as that is when I had time), and that he would have to call me.
That was about a month ago, and I haven't really been in touch with him, except for 5 minutes here or there, or through contact of a mutual friend. I did some research, and discovered that his phone company charges outrageous prices for incoming calls from US/Canada, while others do not - but that, in the end, he must have received a VERY steep phone bill. He never mentioned this to me, but I am wondering if it is impacting the no contact? When I do make contact, he always says that he is busy or it's really loud in the background, or he's working - and to call back later at a specific time, and then he says nice things to me. But then when I call back - he doesn't answer, or there is no signal.
Our mutual friend hasn't been able to talk to him lately either -as he is either working, or in meetings at work, or isn't in his dorm room when he goes to visit, etc. I really don't understand what is going on...have I been sankified?? He doesn't fit the typical description of what I understand "sankie" to be - there was no sex when I was there, and no pleas for money...it was an entirely personality attraction/connection, although I do think that he's cute, etc. Any thoughts?? Sorry this post is so long...
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Forget it.............
