what does he want from me?

heyyouthereinthered · #1 06-09-2008, 11:24 PM

hello all, i am in search of some wisdom from a dominican standpoint. same sanki story but this one has left me wondering. Went on vacation with my long time friend who frequently visits d.r. She was born there. Met a guy,he was cool, didn't fall head over heels for him but "he has." MY friend knows his family most of her life and swears he is not a sanki. Thing is he fits the sanki profile to the tee..except for a few things. He is very wealthy out there and doesn't need money or me for a visa. I know that for sure, so what is it sex? Maybe i'm answering my own question but i need to know. We have been talking for 2 months now and he says all the classic lines and has even asked me to marry him!?! His style is rare out there so sometimes i think if he really does feel this way its because im the only girl hes met that is his style, due to the lack of "his type" out there. Don't know if i'm being too vague but please help and please ask! ..and he hasn't asked me for money. I am not in love but that is thanks to my inability to trust anyone or committ..no matter where they come from...Thank you all.

SKing · #2 06-10-2008, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyyouthereinthered

hello all, i am in search of some wisdom from a dominican standpoint. same sanki story but this one has left me wondering. Went on vacation with my long time friend who frequently visits d.r. She was born there. Met a guy,he was cool, didn't fall head over heels for him but "he has." MY friend knows his family most of her life and swears he is not a sanki. Thing is he fits the sanki profile to the tee..except for a few things. He is very wealthy out there and doesn't need money or me for a visa. I know that for sure, so what is it sex? Maybe i'm answering my own question but i need to know. We have been talking for 2 months now and he says all the classic lines and has even asked me to marry him!?! His style is rare out there so sometimes i think if he really does feel this way its because im the only girl hes met that is his style, due to the lack of "his type" out there. Don't know if i'm being too vague but please help and please ask! ..and he hasn't asked me for money. I am not in love but that is thanks to my inability to trust anyone or committ..no matter where they come from...Thank you all.

The above sentence that I put in bold is a classic................

RUN..............................

CFA123 · #3 06-10-2008, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heyyouthereinthered

.. He is very wealthy out there and doesn't need money or me for a visa.

If the above is true and he would be supporting you financially... he does not fit the classic 'sankie' definition. Sankies pray on unsuspecting women by trading false affection for financial or other perceived gains.

If he has nothing to gain but your love and affection - and offers his in return, then the nice things he says aren't unlike what any legitimate man would have to say when pursuing a love interest.

But, if you're not in any way wowed by him, what does it matter?

Celt202 · #4 06-10-2008, 08:09 AM

He wants you to submit to him to satisfy his ego. If you do he'll drop you like a rotten batata.

Walk away.

catcherintherye · #5 06-10-2008, 08:26 AM

It could just be "one more conquest with one more gringa chica".

It doesn't have to be more than that, but it could be.

I'm not sure you can be positive about his financial status or how he gets his money. The best con-men don't push their marks. They simply manuver you into wanting to give them what they want. Don't underestimate the tactics of someone with experience and a plan.

Just my thoughts.

holita · #6 06-10-2008, 09:10 AM

I think there can be "Sankie" tendencies in all economic levels. And, yes he does need a visa from you. Even if he has a tourist visa that does not mean he does not need to marry you in order to live or work in the US. I know a guy who was very rich, had a travel visa, and still conned an American girl into marrying him for papers because an immigration visa is different from a tourist visa.....anyway, what worries me is that he asked you to marry him so quickly. That is a clear red flag in my opinion. Just be careful.

Charlielyn · #7 06-10-2008, 09:14 AM

How do you know that he is financially well to do? He might be financed by other gringas so that he can wine and dine you. Is he taking you to fancy restaurants (and paying) or cabannas? Is he seen with you in public? Have you met his family? Have you been to his house? Have you been dancing in the city or hidden in the dark at La Barrica? Have you seen his bank accounts? Does he work in a hotel or at a business in the city? No hotel worker is financially set unless he is management. A waiter or performer has not enough money to live on , yet wine and dine you. Be smart and ask questions.

Berzin · #8 06-10-2008, 09:43 AM

1) It could very well be your friend setting you up to marry someone in HER family that needs to get to the US.

2) All of the flattery via phone and the marriage proposal does not speak well if this guy is "wealthy" and comes from a good family. It more than likely is a scam.

3) . I am not in love but that is thanks to my inability to trust anyone or commit...no matter where they come from...

You have issues you need to resolve before you begin dating, much less getting involved in a long-distance love affair.

I hear this all the time, and you seem ripe to get taken advantage of. The first step you need to take is admit to yourself that the fact that you may have gotten hurt in a previous relationship does not mean that you have to put up impossible barriers and walls around you and become suspicious of all men.

Because if you do put up such barriers, you will only attract the most aggressive tigre-types who refuse to take no for an answer.

4) Its' never a bad thing to take a good long look in the mirror to realize what you are getting into. I am convinced you are getting set up, and your friend more than likely knows you harbor feelings of mistrust in relationships.

What better way to calm your fears and put you at ease than to lure you to the lions' den in the guise of a trusting friend amongst her family?

She probably told this guy, "Yeah, I got this friend who will be easy to knock over. All you have to do is put on the charm, give her a little muela, make her think you are different and shower her with attention over the phone. I'll be here telling her what a good guy you are. She'll be running back to the DR to marry you in no time".

Dr. Berzin, PhD. in Clinical Psychology
University of Chernobyl-"Where our brightest students glow in the dark"
Class of 1998

catcherintherye · #9 06-10-2008, 09:52 AM

Dr. Berzin,
Very sage advice from my old roomy at UC. Of course "clinical" psychology was much different for us back in the day, was it not? If you catch my drift! Wink, wink!

We won't even begin with all the frat paties. Dios mio!!

Dr. Catchup in your eye.

rio2003 · #10 06-10-2008, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

1)
Dr. Berzin, PhD. in Clinical Psychology
University of Chernobyl-"Where our brightest students glow in the dark"
Class of 1998

LMAO