A different point of view....

[Isabel2nycdr]

Hi everybody, I'm new here. Been visiting the DR1 boards, especially this one, since I read the The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I was a little surprised though. It seems as though most of the people who post on here, especially the members who've been here for a long time, are not Dominican. They may be married or have dated a Dominican, or have simply gone down a couple of times to DR, but are not Dominican themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it brings me to my point. It's long, but please bear with me.

You, and by you I refer to those members, have a somewhat distortioned misconception about Dominicans, whether it be men or women. No offense or anything, but that kind of irks me a bit. Are you refering to all Dominicans in general when you talk about those sex-for-food-or-visa sankies, or just those who make it well known within the people that know them that they are sankies? I'm Dominican, born but not entirely raised, as I have lived in different parts of the US most of my life, with as many as 2-5 trips to DR a year. Even though I live in the US, when I go back to DR I go to the barrio where my mom grew up, which is low class. All of my friends are educated, well-mannered, and none of the would ever be with a guy just so he can take them out of DR. They don't think that life here is easy or that the streets are paved with gold. On the other hand, the guys can be that way, but not only because of the money, but also because Dominican guys can be blind when it comes to foreign women. Anything that is white, blue-eyed, and blond is a jackpot. It boosts their ego. But in the case of women, even though I'm sad to say that my contry is overrun with prostitution, not all of the women are like that. Even though I don't live there full time, I feel bad whenever anybody on here talks about the women like they are all just goldiggers. You can't expect to meet someone, and just because they have an inconvenience happen in their family, automatically brand them a sankie. If any of you were Dominicans, you would understand. That's just they way of life in the DR. Everybody chips in when something goes wrong. You just have to pick and choose which moments are reasonable for you to help out a little, not all, but a little. In addition, do you really expect to come down, meet a girl or guy, and then leave with the hope that they'll be faithfull, when you haven't offered them anything, and by anything I mean the offer of a serious relationship. I know that Dominicans aren't exactly the most faithful people out there, but the rest of the world isn't that saintly either. We're just upfront about it. And it's not like your pinning away waiting by the phone for that person to call you either. It's called a fling, unless you decide to take that next step into 'relationship status'. I hear some of you saying that if you date or marry a Dominican, you have to lay down some rules, and change their ways of thinking about how things should be done. Why do you want to marry a Dominican? To change them? Just marry someone from your own status then. What ever happened to everybody bringing something to the table? You're both different people, with different cultures, traditions, beliefs, ways of life, etc. You go about things differently. Yet you want to have evrything your ways,with the perks and benefits of a Dominican. Its like they are inferior to you or something along those lines. You can't be that close-minded about people. Again, no offense, this only applies to a few of you who think you know everything you need to know about DR.


Also, a question: What do some of you mean when you say that Dominican women are "childlike"? Please explain.

[2LeftFeet]

Welcome aboard!!! I think the majority of the people on this board would agree with what you are saying. The forum... Men are from Mars...... is for people that wind up in "relationships" with people who are being taken advantage of by sankies. These people don't realize it yet.... so..... many times it becomes UGLY.

There are some men on this board that are sexist and believe that women have their place and that is why they go to the DR. They want a wife who will take care of him and not speak her mind. That marriage is not a partnership. He is to be waited on and taken care of every night.

Their are others that feel that the DR is good for one thing and one thing only.... cheap sex.

Then there are others (most) who see it for what it is. It is a beautiful country. The people are warm hearted and friendly. There are people who are educated and people who aren't. There are beautiful beaches and moutains. Some people try to scam and others don't.....

If you chose to stay on the forum you will see who to pay attention to and who to ignore.... it's like riding the subway... you learn to tune a lot of people out.

[Ezequiel]

Originally Posted by Isabel2nycdr

Hi everybody, I'm new here. Been visiting the DR1 boards, especially this one, since I read the The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I was a little surprised though. It seems as though most of the people who post on here, especially the members who've been here for a long time, are not Dominican. They may be married or have dated a Dominican, or have simply gone down a couple of times to DR, but are not Dominican themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it brings me to my point. It's long, but please bear with me.

You, and by you I refer to those members, have a somewhat distortioned misconception about Dominicans, whether it be men or women. No offense or anything, but that kind of irks me a bit. Are you refering to all Dominicans in general when you talk about those sex-for-food-or-visa sankies, or just those who make it well known within the people that know them that they are sankies? I'm Dominican, born but not entirely raised, as I have lived in different parts of the US most of my life, with as many as 2-5 trips to DR a year. Even though I live in the US, when I go back to DR I go to the barrio where my mom grew up, which is low class. All of my friends are educated, well-mannered, and none of the would ever be with a guy just so he can take them out of DR. They don't think that life here is easy or that the streets are paved with gold. On the other hand, the guys can be that way, but not only because of the money, but also because Dominican guys can be blind when it comes to foreign women. Anything that is white, blue-eyed, and blond is a jackpot. It boosts their ego. But in the case of women, even though I'm sad to say that my contry is overrun with prostitution, not all of the women are like that. Even though I don't live there full time, I feel bad whenever anybody on here talks about the women like they are all just goldiggers. You can't expect to meet someone, and just because they have an inconvenience happen in their family, automatically brand them a sankie. If any of you were Dominicans, you would understand. That's just they way of life in the DR. Everybody chips in when something goes wrong. You just have to pick and choose which moments are reasonable for you to help out a little, not all, but a little. In addition, do you really expect to come down, meet a girl or guy, and then leave with the hope that they'll be faithfull, when you haven't offered them anything, and by anything I mean the offer of a serious relationship. I know that Dominicans aren't exactly the most faithful people out there, but the rest of the world isn't that saintly either. We're just upfront about it. And it's not like your pinning away waiting by the phone for that person to call you either. It's called a fling, unless you decide to take that next step into 'relationship status'. I hear some of you saying that if you date or marry a Dominican, you have to lay down some rules, and change their ways of thinking about how things should be done. Why do you want to marry a Dominican? To change them? Just marry someone from your own status then. What ever happened to everybody bringing something to the table? You're both different people, with different cultures, traditions, beliefs, ways of life, etc. You go about things differently. Yet you want to have evrything your ways,with the perks and benefits of a Dominican. Its like they are inferior to you or something along those lines. You can't be that close-minded about people. Again, no offense, this only applies to a few of you who think you know everything you need to know about DR.


Also, a question: What do some of you mean when you say that Dominican women are "childlike"? Please explain.

Agree with everything you said, for some here in the Dr1 think every Dominican is a Sanky Panky, when Dominicans only considers Sanky Panky does whose live in the tourist area looking to catch a foreigner.

Some come here to complain, complain, complain about the DR because they have nothing better to do.

Some like it here in the DR because they feel as foreigners they can do anything they feel like doing eventhough it against the law.

And some live in the DR, because the like it there, like the weather, like the people/culture, those are the one that like to see a better DR.

[Chirimoya]

And we have some quality Dominican posters, too many to name. But in general, this is a board about the DR chiefly aimed at foreigners with an interest in the country, not a Dominican board as such. A lot of the misconceptions you mention come from visitors who base their image of Dominicans on people they see/meet in the tourist areas and are not even aware that educated and professional Dominicans exist, or that not all Dominicans are poor.

Welcome to DR1 - your contributions will be valued.

[Theforceinme]

I think your post is full of contradictions.

You say not everyone is like that, but

Anything that is white, blue-eyed, and blond is a jackpot.

So what you are saying is that blond ppl should beware (ie a good part of anglo-saxons)... which is exactly what the message of this board is.

You also state

All of my friends are educated, well-mannered, and none of the would ever be with a guy just so he can take them out of DR.

Which means you actually picked friends like that. They didn't pick you. In the case of tourists, they rarely get to pick who works at a hotel.

And that brings us to the last part. ANY HOTEL EMPLOYEE who flirts with a customer is a dang sanky. If you're an employee, you just shouldn't do it. So therefore, if all the tourists see are hotel employees, and these employees hit on them... then, in effect, all Dominicans are sankies.

This board isn't for the faint of heart, it's for the hearts that feint.

Oh yeah, I'm Dominican. I know how bad we be :P
I also know how good we be
Let's keep it real!

[Diavola84]

When they flirt with you, it doesnt always mean they are sankies. Alot of them know that girls on vacation enjoy flirting, especially when they know that these girls are there to have fun. Alot of them want you to go back to their resort - the more tourists, the better their jobs are. More tourists=more money that the resort makes - chances of losing their jobs decreases.

[Richard Alberto]

great post! Also Isabel2nycdr , what most folks fail to mention is that many of the female tourist go to DR for exactly that same thing that many guys do. Sex. For a quick fling. I'm not hating them for it. Just that many, not all, but many here separate male tourists for sex and female tourist as complete victims.
It just so happens that many of them, (both sexes), wind up falling in love with the fling and that's where the posts begin.

[badpiece33]

Originally Posted by Diavola84

When they flirt with you, it doesnt always mean they are sankies. Alot of them know that girls on vacation enjoy flirting, especially when they know that these girls are there to have fun. Alot of them want you to go back to their resort - the more tourists, the better their jobs are. More tourists=more money that the resort makes - chances of losing their jobs decreases.

Ohh please do you think that far in advance!!! They see each of these young ladies from up north or from the other dide of the pond for what they are, a visa or a steady western union reciever. Keep it real

[Diavola84]

Originally Posted by badpiece33

Ohh please do you think that far in advance!!! They see each of these young ladies from up north or from the other dide of the pond for what they are, a visa or a steady western union reciever. Keep it real

I didn't say all....

[sawsky]

richard this post remindes of the guy that waked into the cat house with a 1 inch pecker the girl say,s who you gunna blese with that . he say me lol