How do I get her to understand?

Princesa777 · #1 08-22-2008, 07:36 AM

I know this girl ONLY from MSN, she is really young (14 or 15), A year ago she went to the DR for the first time...and she fell in love with a Dominican guy (17 or 18 years or so). She kept in touch with him the whole year completely in love, and didnt go with any other guy (well i cant know this for a fact, but this is according to her and all her MSN names are always about him). This summer she went to the DR again and now she is even more in love

.
I happen to know the guy (not very well) and I see him (how surprising) with other girls all the time. I dont think (and cant really blame him) he considers it as a relationship, since she;s only there 2/3 weeks a year. I dont even know if they have sex, but she considers him her prince on the white horse etc, he's her everything

. I tried to warn her a little bit, but ofcourse her sweet heart is not like this!!
She also told me that she is fighting a lot at home with family and friends, because they speak bad about him, she even lost some of her friends because of this... (her attitude is everybody that speaks bad about **** can &*&^ him/herself)
Now I know a lot of people might think, just leave her, she deserves it, but she is soooooo young and naive. And really not a bad girl.
I know if I will just plain tell her, that he's been going around with like a 100 other girls, she will just not believe it and never speak with me again. Which I dont consider a big problem, since I dont know her in real life, but I would like her to actually LISTEN TO ME, coz she really doesnt deserve this and should just live her life here, instead of waiting for him another year. Anybody any advice how i can make her listen? Oh an to make things worse, she is busy to get him here on a tourist visa.... Which is all the more reason why i wanna convince her to dump him.

metalgirl404 · #2 08-22-2008, 10:01 AM

sometimes is good to help but in this case is better let her realize for herself that he is not what she thinks trust me at least once in life a person has to have this kinds of experience to grow up and see the things in another way, and dont fall in the same mistake again. u can try to help her thats good, cause when she realizes her mistake she can not say that u didnt tell her.but its up to u. hope u can find a solution.

amandalynn · #3 08-22-2008, 11:09 AM

she has to figure it out on her own. she may be young but if she is all caught up with him and his smooth talking she will never listen.

Princesa777 · #4 08-22-2008, 11:39 AM

I know she will find out...eventually. But she's going there once a year, it might take a couple of years for she finally figures it out. What would mean she would just completely waste her teen years, from 13 until 17/18???

In a normal situation i would just her figure it out on her own, but in this situation I just think it will take too long and she's just on the age that she;s starting to develop mentally, i dont want her to waste that valuable time just waiting for him

Lapurr · #5 08-22-2008, 11:47 AM

[quote=Princesa777;670447]In a normal situation i would just her figure it out on her own, /[quote]

She is NOT capable of figuring things out on her own...SHE'S 14

Kinda reminds me of my Michael Jackson obsession!! back in the day!

sokitoumi · #6 08-22-2008, 12:30 PM

errrr from michael jackson to p.diddy what happened in between lol

very difficult situation its easy to get obsessed by people at that age...

Lapurr · #7 08-22-2008, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sokitoumi

errrr from michael jackson to p.diddy what happened in between lol

very difficult situation its easy to get obsessed by people at that age...

At least I'm consistent....

-They were both the same colour at one time (Michael & P.Diddy)
-Both very talented Musicians
-Extremely wealthy

I guess I just grew out of the jerry curl!

Back to the thread, By the time she turns 16-He will be living in Germany or England, Possibly Canada or US!! dont even worry about it!!

AnnaC · #8 08-22-2008, 12:45 PM

Ask her if she thinks he's only dating her and what would she think if she knew he was dating others while she is away. See how she answers.

Tell her that since you've lived in the DR you know how many of the guys like dating many women. This way you are putting the thought in her head. If she responds badly or lashes out then forget it she has to find out the hard way unfortunately.

Tell her to read DR1 and the articles Sanky Pankies in the Dominican Republic

But I predict that she'll say he has never asked her for money so he must be a good guy

Princesa777 · #9 08-23-2008, 02:22 PM

Well I had a very bright idea, if i do say so myself. I introduced her to a social groups website (like myspace etc.). Im using it myself too and a lot of guys from Cabarete as well. I have seen her bf with girls on several pictures already, you can only see the pictures when you are friends with the person that puts them on, BUT you can also tag people and then everybody that is a friend of the tagged person can see it.
So hopefully in time she will find some pictures that other girls post....from him. This way she can also get into contact with more people from cabarete and see more pictures etc. And that way, will have more chances of catching him!

In combination with the 'are you sure he's not going with other girls hint' she might figure it out.

I dont think her english is good enough to read the stuff about sankies (no, i dont know how they communicate

)

Princesa777 · #10 10-27-2008, 01:45 PM

Well I have some good news, she broke up with the guy. I dont know why (and dont really care) but she said they broke up and they are just friends now. Although he's probably still coming here (for a week or 2) but just as friends. Hmmm....