I travelled to the DR for the second time this summer. Awesome place and I absolutely love the country. I stayed at an all-inclusive resort with 3 other friends. After my first trip to the DR, I discovered this website and have been reading the many stories shared on the forums. I am well aware of sankies and agree that 99% of all resort workers ARE sankies. Almost all the guys on my first and second trip were (excuse the analogy) "flies on dogs&^t". These were the types of Dominican men that I stayed away from. On the 3rd day of my most recent trip, I met a guy at one of the restaurants and quickly took a liking to him because he was unlike the many men I had encountered there. Of course, like many of the girls that have had bad experiences, I pursued him myself. He and I spent 3 nights together before I left to come back home. One thing that shocked me was that he did not know how to dance.
Most of my friends thought he was not a sankie; but nevertheless I kept my guard up. He and I exchanged contacts and the day after I returned home, he was quick to call me. We have been talking everyday for the last 4 weeks and he has been awesome. He would call me and I would let him pay for the phone calls. I'll be honest, I had been hoping that he was "different". We had conversations where I made it clear that I knew how most resort workers were and that I had no money to send to anyone and that I had no intentions of ever marrying him. He was made fully aware of this a week after talking to me. I knew from the first night that he was once married and that he has an 11 year old boy.
Like most Dominican resort workers, they are strapped for cash and cannot afford most things; especially when trying to raise a child there. He didn't want to tell me about his problems because he knew that I didn't think too fondly of people that asked for money. He and I had talked about how I thought that most Dominican men I met, just wanted money. He explained that he knows and gave me an example of a friend who just recently married a woman from France. I also explained to him, that under the circumstances that I was in, that I could not afford to come back anytime soon. I had made many attempts to have him realize that even though I made more money than he did at a resort, that the cost of living here (in Canada) was alot higher. He finally realized this.
This is where I am confused...
After hearing that I have problems of my own, he offered to send ME money. Going through many of the posts on DR1, I have never read any stories with this example. I explained to him that I don't need his money and that in life, you must learn to do things on your own and that if you can't then you're not ready to be with someone else. He responded that when two people care about each other that they help when the other needs it. We actually argued about this. He has shown determination to prove that he is not like most Dominican men because of how I feel about the situation.
My only thoughts on this situation are that 1. he could be potentially seeing this as an investment (I send her money, then when I need it, she'll send me more and she'll trust me) or 2. he's genuine and really trying to prove me wrong(this is like a 0.00000001% chance of being true)
.
With him even attempting to send me money, I will
NOT accept it. I do not love the guy, I simply like him and think he's a good person but in the light of recent events, can't help but think that I should tone it down and see what happens. In the end, having a friend is not a bad thing. I realize that I cannot have a relationship with him because we are so culturally different and I don't have the patience or courage to be with someone that lives so far away. But the human mind - I can only help but wonder...
Any thoughts?? (please do not reply if it simply to make fun of the situation)
Sincere and genuine advice is welcome.
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Reverse Psychology...?
