Relationships

paddy · #1 02-05-2009, 08:39 AM

poetic125 · #2 02-11-2009, 03:37 PM

I have been in a serious relationship for a year, and we were cleaning his room last week. When i noticed that he kept pictures of his ex (from two years ago whom he was with for 3 yrs and trying to get her to move in wit him). Now i have pics of my ex in my computer but I fee like its different bcuz i wasnt going to freakin marry the guy. Well my logic says that this should be ok, but guys should I be worried. Or should I let this go.

More info on me. Im 20 year old Dominican american college student. My boyfriend is 28 yr dominican graduated from college.

maryanne · #3 02-11-2009, 04:11 PM

Did he forget that he had the pictures? Did you ask him why he has them?

poetic125 · #4 02-11-2009, 04:48 PM

Well i first saw the pics by mistake, because their were mixed with some old pics that his mom had in a box. They had a bad break up so he had mentioned b4 that he threw away all her pictures. Anyways this was a couple of weeks ago. But last week when we were sorting things in his room, the pictures were in a folder on top of the bed, and he placed the folder and other small objects in a drawer. I know that the pics were in that folder because one of the pics were sticking out. So I know that he conciously decided to keep the pictures because we were going through everything. Now I wanted to say something, and it did bother me. But I don't want to be the over reacting girl friend.

poetic125 · #5 02-11-2009, 05:01 PM

now some might ask why pictures might worry me, well heres the story. I met him a year and a half after he broke up with this chick. When i met him he made it clear that he wanted a serious relations ship. And I was fine with that, for i don't fear commitment. So we started dating and things became serious. He wants to marry me, and has proven his commitment. What I worry is that he just doesn't want to be alone, for I get the feeling that he feels like he is at an age that he needs to be settling down. And so I come along (pretty,educated and outgoing..lol) and so he's like this is a nice chick to settle down with. I love to cook (i watch the food channel all day), don't like to go out much. Now don't get me wrong I am not one of these submissive dominican...oh on the contrary. So basically how do i know that its truley love and not just a man who has found miss fill in the blank.

paddy · #6 02-11-2009, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poetic125

I have been in a serious relationship for a year, and we were cleaning his room last week. When i noticed that he kept pictures of his ex (from two years ago whom he was with for 3 yrs and trying to get her to move in wit him). Now i have pics of my ex in my computer but I fee like its different bcuz i wasnt going to freakin marry the guy. Well my logic says that this should be ok, but guys should I be worried. Or should I let this go.

More info on me. Im 20 year old Dominican american college student. My boyfriend is 28 yr dominican graduated from college.

You both had a "life" before you met each other and chances are that you'lll have another "life" after this relationship.

maryanne · #7 02-11-2009, 06:32 PM

If it bothers you, then you need to tell him. Just ask him why he's holding onto the pictures. Don't get all emotional or dramatic, just simply ask him "why are you holding onto the pictures?". If he can't reply or if he is defensive, then perhaps he really isn't over his ex girlfriend. It's something you need to figure out for yourself. But if something inside you is making you second guess him, then you should stop and take care of this now.

Personally, I have stuff from all of my ex boyfriends....pictures, personal gifts such as jewelry, household items, etc. I never once thought to get rid of everything and even a couple of relationships ended badly.

However, one of my ex boyfriends had to get rid of everything that was associated to me because it upset his next girlfriend (both Dominican). Our relationship ended badly but his next girlfriend was very jealous of me. Years later, we are friends and it hurts to know that everything is gone...everything I ever gave him. But at the same time, I understand he needed to do whatever it took to keep his girlfriend happy.

maryanne · #8 02-11-2009, 06:47 PM

Oh wait....he did keep items that were not easily traced back to me.....hahaha Such as clothes and stuff for the gym (belt, gloves, etc). She just never knew they were from me. :-)

DOMINCAN JOE · #9 02-11-2009, 07:08 PM

COOL LOL

donmobay · #10 02-11-2009, 10:22 PM

i dont think so... im involved the opposite.. im older shes younger she doesnt like new photos. but then realizes im we are together. just remember as an us guy i have never been refused by my spanish girlfriend or wife because of headache,etc. us ladies. thats what starts big problems..