Please i need some genuine advice

Vickyneedsdominicanadvice · #1 02-16-2009, 06:41 AM

Hello there, i am in a situation and i just dont know where to go with it. I met my love 2 years ago, thinking it was just a romance, but recently we have both realised its serious and want to be together. How much is dominican passport, how do i go on about getting him a visitation visa to come to england? Also, how do i go on about going over to the DR? I start university in 5 weeks to study nursing, Its for 3 years and he then wants me to move over there, I know a small amount of spanish, but i cant move over not knowing the language. Has anyone else ever been in this situation, we both have no money behind us, people always say he is just after money, but i have none to begin with and he really isnt, i am no fool. I just want to be with my man, whether i am there, or he is here, i dont know where to start!! I have been to the DR 5 times in the past 18 months, have many friends there and know whats its all about, but i love the place. I have heard a nursing wage is no good there, how do you go on about getting work, as an english person who speaks little spanish Someone please help !!!

Also, i had a gastric bypass, so i am on medication, that i do need to take for the rest of my life, how do i go on about doing that, as in england, the medications and treatments are free, would it cost an arm and a leg or is there some kind of insurance or help i can get??

Thanks

Vicky

catcherintherye · #2 02-16-2009, 07:37 AM

Vicky, Vicky, Vicky,

Where does one begin?

Have you read any past threads in the DR1 archives? You really should. That would be the first thing for you to do.

Use the search feature on the tool bar, and use the key word sanky or sankie, and see what you learn about that subject. Then look through some of the threads on Dominican relationships. What can it hurt?

I know you think you are no fool, but at, what? 18-19 years of age? you probably still have a lot to learn. Ya think?

My personal opinion; You are setting your self up a big tumble, but I know you do not want to hear that, and you probably won't listen to any good advice.

However, try to step back for a moment and put your sister, or your best friend, into the position you are in now. Then think about what your advice to them would be. If you think you'd tell them "to follow their hearts" you are either lying to yourself or you are a terrible sister and/or friend.

After you done the reading, and really thought this through completely, please get back to us. I hope you then will have a completely different understanding of this situation, and hopefully you can stop this before you wind up ruining your life.

Man oh man, another bites the dust.

retiree · #3 02-16-2009, 08:57 AM

With a "small amount of spanish" it would be hard for you to get a job here as a nurse. Even if you did, the salary would be very low. How low? You would be poor.

Please read the many threads here on this forum that women in exactly your situation have posted.

Hillbilly · #4 02-16-2009, 09:05 AM

How "genuine do you want it. Nobody on this board will say anything you want to hear.
You are a ticket out of here and a heartbreak waiting to happen.
Can you really believe that an overweight female will impress one of the very male figures at the hotel in a really tru love fashion?? Get real...sorry about the harshness.

You are, no matter what he says, just another lottery ticket for him. he does not have the education ,the job or the knowledge to get a visa to anywhere, and you are the one hope of him and his family (other women and children, mother and relatives) of getting to the Promised Land = Anywhere but here.

Please just dump this guy, change your phone number and get on with your life. Save your money, get yourself in shape and then come and "cavort" in the sun, but never get serious with anyone you meet at the hotel--unless it is the hotel owner!!

Seriously,

HB

Vickyneedsdominicanadvice · #5 02-16-2009, 09:27 AM

Thanks for your positve advice hehehe, i am only joking!! Firstly, i am actually 30 years old and i am not longer over weight, he also didnt meet me when i was over weight either, i am in shape now, but thank you for your comments I do understand what you are all saying. Oh, also it was me who instigated the relationship, not him, i thought i would have a holiday romance after splitting with an ex of 6 years
I have asked this man on several occassions to come to England, he does not want to and wants me to go over there. I know probably 90% of men are like what you say they are, but there are some good. You have to watch people all over the world, my mother has just nearly had her house repossessed because of an english guy, so my point is they are everywhere and probably more so over in the DR but not everyone is the same.
I have just come back from a lovely 2 weeks stay in Imbert, in the north. I paid for my fight, that is all, my guy accomodated me, took me out etc etc and he really wants me to go there to live now, but i have explained that i am doing my nursing, as yes, my weight did stop me when i was younger. But now i am of normal weight and good health, i can pursue the career that i have always wanted.
I know only knowing a little spanish i will not get a job, but over a 3 year period of learning it, then i might have a better chance.
Never once have i sent him money, give him money, the most i have done is put 100 pesos on his cell phone.
My family and friends love him to bits, as they have visited 3 times, but the last 2 times i have visited alone and felt completely safe.
I want him to visit England, to see my coiuntry, to see what its all about, maybe he will like it, maybe he wont. He says he doesnt want to leave his family, as he has 2 children, they live about 50km away in santiago, he separated from the mother 6 years ago and he lives and cares for his father.
Everything he has told me, the proof has been there, i am still being careful and the minute he showed any signs of wanting me for more than just me, then he would be gone, but i do trust him now and i want to be with this man, just becasue alot are bad it doesnt mean they are all bad. So i cam on here to try and find some info out, like how do i get medication across there etc etc.
Thanks for your comments though, i do appreciate them x

AnnaC · #6 02-16-2009, 10:27 AM

Check with your own country on how to get a visitor visa UK Border Agency Visa Services Home Page

I've never been able to understand why people depend on foreigners to get them a passport of their own country but here is the info for a Dominican passport DIRECCION GENERAL DE PASAPORTES - 2009

It's in Spanish and it doesn't seem to be working today but hopefully this number does Tel 809 532-7373)

As for the rest, no matter what anyone says, you will end up doing what you want and you are the only one that knows him so I won't waste any time giving out advice because we have a ton of it HERE already.

Good luck

Vickyneedsdominicanadvice · #7 02-16-2009, 10:45 AM

Thanks alot, he hasnt asked me to get him a passport, he said he is getting one next year, i am just searching for my own knowledge and curiosity. He has been saying he is going to get a passport for a few months, and yes i do know him, he needs a kick up the bum, you know the Dominican hour etc etc, we will be doing this forever if i dont research it myself.

I do know him, we have a wonderful relationship, and for 2 years we have now, its just getting stronger and stronger. When a man cries so much that he cannot leave his house because i was going home, says something to me, i am stil always looking for suspicious things, but still as yet have not found anything.

Thank you very much anyway, i am just researching all this, so i can have all the info and give it to him, so he cant say ill do it next week hehehe.

Thank you

La Mariposa · #8 02-16-2009, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vickyneedsdominicanadvice

Thanks alot, he hasnt asked me to get him a passport, he said he is getting one next year, i am just searching for my own knowledge and curiosity. He has been saying he is going to get a passport for a few months, and yes i do know him, he needs a kick up the bum, you know the Dominican hour etc etc, we will be doing this forever if i dont research it myself.

I do know him, we have a wonderful relationship, and for 2 years we have now, its just getting stronger and stronger. When a man cries so much that he cannot leave his house because i was going home, says something to me, i am stil always looking for suspicious things, but still as yet have not found anything.

Thank you very much anyway, i am just researching all this, so i can have all the info and give it to him, so he cant say ill do it next week hehehe.

Thank you

You are so blind that you did not see the big smile behind his tears.

Alyonka · #9 02-16-2009, 11:24 AM

If a person allows themselves to cry because of someone else and put on a show - he/she is either a deceitful actor or just emotionally immature, weak and needy. In either case - not worth time and money. I think you can find someone for fun where you live and not travel so far for just a performance. You can always just go to see a movie. Good luck.

AnnaC · #10 02-16-2009, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vickyneedsdominicanadvice

Thanks alot, he hasnt asked me to get him a passport, he said he is getting one next year, i am just searching for my own knowledge and curiosity. He has been saying he is going to get a passport for a few months, and yes i do know him, he needs a kick up the bum, you know the Dominican hour etc etc, we will be doing this forever if i dont research it myself.

Thank you

A Dominican passport costs about 2000 pesos. I don't know his finances but I'll bet he doesn't have it to spend on a passport when he has two kids to feed. You also need to know that many Dominicans never legally marry so when someone says they are separated from their wife/husband you may want to make a surprise visit to see what you find.

Yes we sound very pessimistic here but we are telling you from experience what we know to watch out for the rest is up to you.

I have a Dominican friend on my MSN and he has this next to his name
"el pesimista es un optimista bien informado"

A pessimist is a well informed optimist