Met Dominicano through his sister in law...genuine?

VeronicaRose · #1 03-26-2009, 12:34 PM

Hey everyone,

This is my first post and so far I've found all the info on here and the responses very eye opening and helpful. I know that there are some cases in which Canadian/Dominican relationships work, which is very encouraging, but it seems like 90-95% of them end up in heartache, loss of money, confusion, etc. Here is my story...

In December, I went for a massage, and the receptionist and I got to talking, as well as the massage therapist and I (they're sisters). When we were talking, the receptionist (From Guatemala, but moved to Canada years and years ago...maybe 15 or so) told me she met her husband on the cruise line they both worked on, and that he was originally from the DR. She asked if I was single and said that her brother in law, in the DR is single and really good looking, very nice, etc. Long story short, he phoned me the next day and since then we've been talking on the phone, msn, webcam, emails. Wondering if there's ANY chance that this could be genuine, because I'm clinging onto the fact that I met him through a family member, and not at some resort.

Any advice or thoughts or questions are GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks!
VR xo

AnnaC · #2 03-26-2009, 12:51 PM

What does he do for a living?

I'm trying to get the relationship straight. This lady that wants to introduce you to her bother in law is what to you and your sister?

I don't mean to sound harsh but why do you need to be set up with someone you've never met? Have you ever been to the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC?

Ask yourself this, why does he need to be set up with someone from Canada when there are so many beautiful Dominicanas in his country. I mean it's different when two people meet on their own and think there is a spark or whatever to pursue.

Chip · #3 03-26-2009, 01:36 PM

More than likely he genuinely wants to leave the DR in any way shape and form - including breaking hearts along the way.

If you want to meet an eligible Dominican do yourself a favor and look for one who has a job and an education the equal of yours otherwise you will just be a business opportunity for him.

jalencastro · #4 03-26-2009, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnaC

I'm trying to get the relationship straight. This lady that wants to introduce you to her bother in law is what to you and your sister?

i'm trying to figure this one out too....LOL

catcherintherye · #5 03-26-2009, 01:47 PM

Just a hypothetical scenario:

Husband to wife (receptionist): My brother wants to move up here, so we can hang out together and have fun, like we used to do in SD. But he will need a visa, so see what you can dredge up for him, will ya?

Wife to husband: Okay, anything for your familia, mi amor. I'll keep a look out for a likely sponsor para tu hermano.

Later at the reception desk, with masseuse and prospective sponsor:

Wife to prospective visa sponsor: You look like you'd buy just about any line I'd try to sell you, whoops, I mean you look like a nice lady. Do you want to meet a wonderful man, who will help keep my husband away from me? He's hang like a horse, and good looking to boot. Dominicano, you know!

Prospective visa sponsor: Sure! Sounds like he is a real catch. I'll bet we'll be happy for ever and ever. My prince has come.

That evening, the receptionist at home with hubby:

Husband to wife: Well, how'd you make out today? I have to call my brother tonight.

Wife to husband: Great. I think I got a keeper for your brother. Now, will you let me have tonight off, por favor?

VeronicaRose · #6 03-26-2009, 02:18 PM

Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion...

)

AnnaC: He is a welder and just opened his own shop with his brother in the Dominican (I've seen the business cards, so I'm sure it exists). I haven't been to the Dominican ever. I guess I was open to being set up with someone I didn't know because for some reason I trusted his sister in law, she seems really genuine and we just clicked really well and she said that him and I would get along well. (Am I sounding severly naive right now??)

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

VeronicaRose · #7 03-26-2009, 02:21 PM

catcherintherye: thank you for your scenario...it's opening my eyes and I'm no longer thinking that this is picture perfect....i feel so confused though because I know that there are some success stories, few and far between, but they CAN happen. trying to tell myself I don't owe him anything and i am free to walk away at any time, especially since we've only been 'dating' long distance for 3 and a half months. part of me wants to stick around and see if it's legit. thinking of just not putting in effort and letting him do all the work for a while and seeing if it lasts. what do you think?

Chip · #8 03-26-2009, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeronicaRose

Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion...

)

AnnaC: He is a welder and just opened his own shop with his brother in the Dominican (I've seen the business cards, so I'm sure it exists). I haven't been to the Dominican ever. I guess I was open to being set up with someone I didn't know because for some reason I trusted his sister in law, she seems really genuine and we just clicked really well and she said that him and I would get along well. (Am I sounding severly naive right now??)

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

A couple of things, there is a welding shop on every corner here in the DR and that doesn't necessarily mean this guy could take care of you or even has a decent income.

However, I do like your last statement.

catcherintherye · #9 03-26-2009, 02:38 PM

"part of me wants to stick around and see if it's legit. thinking of just not putting in effort and letting him do all the work for a while and seeing if it lasts. what do you think?"

Honestly, I think you would be wasting your time, but that is something you would have to decide.

I think at this point you have to work on percentages. Although there is a very slight (almost non-existent) chance that it's legit, it is much more likely that it is not. If you were a gambling person, it would be very slim odds.

AnnaC · #10 03-26-2009, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeronicaRose

Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion...

)

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

I can see you have an open mind so I will continue.

You've been introduced by HIS family and they have HIS best interest at heart not yours.

Yes you live in a free country but so does he. He is FREE to come to Canada anytime but he has to convince OUR Canadian government that he will return to the DR when his visa expires.

Has he ever visited his brother in the 15 year?

Do a little testing, if he has a business and some money have him apply for a visitor visa to see his brother, do not, I repeat do not get involved or he won't get it for sure. If he can get here to see his brother and meet you in person then you know there MIGHT not be any other agendas.

Good luck and keep an open mind. People are really trying to help you. There are some lovely fish in the sea but there are sharks too so we need to alert you of that fact. Not sure where you got your figures

but a 5% chance of happiness is kind of a high risk investment.

Good luck