New To Forum. Need a Reality check.

[mindfulhoney]

I am a Dominicana who has been living in NYC since I was six years old. I am 27 now. I am educated and have a great job at a not for profit legal services organization in Tribeca.

My entire life I have avoided Dominican men. My father was a successful attorney in Santo Domingo who loved younger women and went on to marry 5 times and have 8 children with 5 different women. Needless to say that is the reason I have avoided dating Dominican men. My mother moved to NYC when I was six to get away from and get over him.

I was in Santo Domingo a few weeks ago visiting my dad who was hospitalized. When my half-sister who lives there and works in insurance introduced me to a man named C. At first I was not impressed and actually only went out because she dragged me out. We went to a live concert en la Zona Colonial, and a couple of other places (Feros Cafe?) including Coppa (filled with "working ladies" and many of them Brazilian) which apparently is the only after hours place in Santo Domingo.

To make a long story short I am smitten. He is 11 years older than me and has a very high level position in an international latin american insurace brokerage firm. He travels to the US (NYC, Miami) often. He has already offered to fly me back to Santo Domingo just to accompany him to events (concerts, functions). I always decline citing work committments.

The problem is that he is married, unhappily so according to him. I have never ever dated a married man and I haven't picked up his calls in three days.
He is very gentle in his approach and because I do not answer my phone sends me brief and sweet emails throughout the day.

This is just a recipe for disaster right?

[Alyonka]

Originally Posted by mindfulhoney

This is just a recipe for disaster right?

You are exactly right. Run, run and run away from him. Don't waste any time on a married man - it is going to end very BAD in any case. Some married guys love seduction of young naive girls. They will never stop. Even if he leaves his wife and stays with you for a while - in several years he will do the same to you he has done to his wife. Run away. Good luck!

[AZB]

she will pick up his phone and take him up on the offer. Its just a matter of time.
AZB

[corsair74]

Originally Posted by mindfulhoney

This is just a recipe for disaster right?

Do you really need an answer for this? I think that you already know the answer. It has nothing at all to do with Dominican men, and everything to do with men who cheat on their wives.

I tell my sister, as well as my platonic female friends all of the time that men, especially older settled guys, hardly ever change simply because you marry/enter into a relationship with them. Accordingly, a man who is in the habit of cheating on his wife is not likely to be faithful to you either. And if they are successful and charming, they'll always be able to find young impressionable women to work their wiles upon. This has been true in every society and culture since the dawn of time.

Oh. I almost forgot. The chances of him leaving his wife and family for you are close to zero. Trust me, I know plenty of guys like this. It always plays out the same way. Leaving the wife and family is too much of a hassle, and possibly expensive. Better to just get a new girlfriend/mistress who doesn't mind being confined to that role. And there are plenty of those in his neck of the woods. Believe that.

There it is. You probably know all of this already. But I appreciate you posting on this slow Friday. I'm sure this thread will provide us all with much entertainment.

Vince.

[mindfulhoney]

What are you psychic AZB?

[Malibook]

Originally Posted by mindfulhoney

This is just a recipe for disaster right?

If you don't mind being one of his girlfriends who he commits adultery with, go for it.

Otherwise, tell him to give you a call when he is single again.
Perhaps it will work out for you and then you can be the one he is cheating on.

[AnnaC]

Talk to your mother. I'm sure you already know what she'll say.

[pedrochemical]

He is a dog - D.O.G. - dog.
Your are a woman - F.O.O.L. - woman.
Go for it. This is a match made in heaven.

Apart from that I think now we have have every combination of married, single, Domo, Yank, Man, Woman, Married, Single, Expat, Diaspora, chulo, Gringo, blah blah blah.

Let's get together and be alright!

[mindfulhoney]

In my defense, I have not done anything with this man except dance and that was before I knew he was married. I said I was attracted to the married man not having an affair with him!

[AnnaC]

Originally Posted by mindfulhoney

In my defense, I have not done anything with this man except dance and that was before I knew he was married. I said I was attracted to the married man not having an affair with him!

Ok dear so what is it that you really want to hear? Do you really need strangers to tell you what they think?

I've read right here on DR1 that a decent Dominican would never take a girl he respects out to a place where it's full of working girls. That might tell you that he doesn't respect you. Is he so sweet? That's because I'm sure he's had lots of practice. There's lots of good Dominican men out that so after waiting all these years why be remotely interested in this one.