Advice required on DR guy I met on holiday

[barker1964]

Originally Posted by frank recktenwald

That´s when most people screw up when they follow their hearts, use common sense

If you read the end i did say to keep your eyes open. Meaning dont go into it blindly.

[swtness]

When are these women going to wake up OMG. It is so sad I mean aren't there any other men in the world seems like DR Sankies have gotten so good at what they do cause they know it's a sure thing.

Use common sense don't spend any money on him and good luck cause it sounds like you know you need it. There is nothing wrong with a wild night or two but don't get ahead of yourself that prince charming stuff doesn't just happen after a vacation.....at least rarely.

Swtness

[ShygirlUK]

Thanks for all your responses. This website and all your comments have given me the wake up call I needed!

[sangria]

Originally Posted by Freefallfatty

if you visit the DR for longer than a holiday...

this is really the only way that someone should continue with the relationship.

if you cant/wont move there temporarily or permanently then you might as well move on because this is the only way to really get to know someone and to see how they live and to learn about the culture before its too late and you are married and linked to them forever.

how can you really know you are compatible together over the phone and at a resort? people are usually on their best behaviour when they want something.

if you can see them at their absolute worst and still love them then you might have a future.


good luck
sangria

[joyterrell1]

Originally Posted by ShygirlUK

Thanks for all your responses. This website and all your comments have given me the wake up call I needed!

Just remember you are always in a position of choice. You don't have to make any decisions. You can go and get to know him 1-5 times if you like-- if you think it is worth it. I have thought of just saying to mine--If you want a visa I'll get it for you. Just sigh a prenup and be around to get it anuled when it's time. I would love to help him. He doesn't have to fake it to get it. He has never asked for anything other than me to be there with him. He already told me about his 3 kids and his ex. I feel he is honest--My intuition tells me he is. He is very honest, sweet and genuine. I turly do care deeply for this person. I have also explained to him that if he wants to come here he would probably have to care for the kids fulltime work part time and learn english ASAP. I would need to keep working-I make good money-most of the time.

Now, you also have to look at the cultural differences. They could be wonderful and always give you something new to learn about each other, or there could be some rude surprises. It's a gamble, but so are many things in life. i recently met someone here who is wealthy and we are just aquaintences, but we are getting to know eachother on a professional level. Some might think I'm after his money. It gives me an interesting perspective of how my dominican guy might see me. I think about how my life would be easier if I married a financially well off man. It's a nice day dream. going here, going there. Enough $$ to stop work and have a baby. It may not be that way with a dominican. They will need time to get up and running, and I have a year or 2 left before I can't have babies anymore. We need to look good and hard at the big picture and what we really deserve and need in our lives. My dominican guy is so caring and affectionate and loving, but will he be a dependant too. He is about 8 months away from being able to get to PR. I would rather have him get there on his own. Otherwise, I will never know what he truly wants me for. Sure I'm cute, funny and lovable--I'm his VITA, but right now I'm also his VISA. Sorry I couldn't resist-I stole this from someone here!! Good luck. What does he do at the hotel?????

[laurajane]

Originally Posted by AnnaC

Don't follow your heart it will get you in trouble every time. Follow common sense and gut feeling. Women have a great gift which is our intuition and when you are posting and asking it means you are already feeling something wrong besides what you read here. It's a shame that most will never follow their intuitions.

Sooooooooooo true, women have great instincts but as Alison Moyet said "I tell myself lies and give you alibis"

We ignore what we already know!

[dalila05]

Originally Posted by sangria

this is really the only way that someone should continue with the relationship.

if you cant/wont move there temporarily or permanently then you might as well move on because this is the only way to really get to know someone and to see how they live and to learn about the culture before its too late and you are married and linked to them forever.

how can you really know you are compatible together over the phone and at a resort? people are usually on their best behaviour when they want something.

if you can see them at their absolute worst and still love them then you might have a future.
good luck
sangria

i agree 100 per cent.
lots of womens that i met there in relation with a dominican were living a dream,perfect romance.
but the reality might be harsh one day
if you got the chance to get out of the all inclusive and spend a lot of time with the person you might get a good surprise or bad
but dont give up based on somebody else opinion or general ideas about dominican but on what your instinct told you so.

[care bear]

I was also sucked in unfortunately. It si too bad this happens and I eventually became too smart but too late. 19,000 dollars too late. It could have been worse. I am wondering we always say we met this guy or this girl and they took this or that... Is there a place where we can put names down so that maybe if they do it again.. they will be caught before it is too late for the next person and they fall victim. Just a thought!!

[catcherintherye]

A list like that would be sooooo long.

It is better just to know the scenario and the type of person involved.

Still there are those who will think they found true love, and all the lists in the world won't help.

[dv8]

Originally Posted by joyterrell1

Just remember you are always in a position of choice. You don't have to make any decisions. You can go and get to know him 1-5 times if you like-- if you think it is worth it. I have thought of just saying to mine--If you want a visa I'll get it for you. Just sigh a prenup and be around to get it anuled when it's time. I would love to help him. He doesn't have to fake it to get it. He has never asked for anything other than me to be there with him. He already told me about his 3 kids and his ex. I feel he is honest--My intuition tells me he is. He is very honest, sweet and genuine. I turly do care deeply for this person. I have also explained to him that if he wants to come here he would probably have to care for the kids fulltime work part time and learn english ASAP. I would need to keep working-I make good money-most of the time.

Now, you also have to look at the cultural differences. They could be wonderful and always give you something new to learn about each other, or there could be some rude surprises. It's a gamble, but so are many things in life. i recently met someone here who is wealthy and we are just aquaintences, but we are getting to know eachother on a professional level. Some might think I'm after his money. It gives me an interesting perspective of how my dominican guy might see me. I think about how my life would be easier if I married a financially well off man. It's a nice day dream. going here, going there. Enough $$ to stop work and have a baby. It may not be that way with a dominican. They will need time to get up and running, and I have a year or 2 left before I can't have babies anymore. We need to look good and hard at the big picture and what we really deserve and need in our lives. My dominican guy is so caring and affectionate and loving, but will he be a dependant too. He is about 8 months away from being able to get to PR. I would rather have him get there on his own. Otherwise, I will never know what he truly wants me for. Sure I'm cute, funny and lovable--I'm his VITA, but right now I'm also his VISA. Sorry I couldn't resist-I stole this from someone here!! Good luck. What does he do at the hotel?????

gosh, how i dislike posts that praise those small, cheap imitations of men! OP - you may hear people say that jumping from 12th floor is safe because they know someone who survived the fall (incidentally i know one dude who did just that) but you know if you jump you will so surely die. don't count on good luck.
and note: those hopeful, positive posters so in love with their sankies hardly ever last long. you wanna know why is that? because 9/10 of them fail and never go back to admit it.
hopeless.