Dominican women and cheating

[Thandie]

Originally Posted by Berzin

You know why guys cheat? Because even true love can be boring "Night After Night"...

Funny video! I remember watching that episode as a kid, but was too young to understand the full meaning LOL
But men dont hold the monopoly on being bored. I just overheard a bunch of married women in my gym change room talking about things that would make their men cringe. Yes the truth does hurt sometimes!
Usually the woman is beyond bored, long before the guy is...i.e. the headache excuse, faking it, etc.
The truth is the typical guy thinks he is a lot better lover than he really is (as most women know the really good ones are the exception and not the rule!!!), leaving alot of women bored and sexually dissatisfied ...who really want "what she is having" cause that is not what she is getting at home LOL.

Remember that famous line from the lady in When Harry Met Sally

YouTube - Katz's Delicatessen - in "When Harry Met Sally"

To the OP most DR women put up with it for a variety of reasons (1# reason is financial security) because they know that they will leave one cheat for another one, so what is the point. Better to stay with the devil you know, who is the father and provider of your kids than the devil you dont know.

Like in alot of other developing countries there is a mentality that a 'good' woman will know how to keep a man, and that will include not making a big fuss if he makes a mistake and has a 3 kids with his mistress because hey its normal, my dad and grandad did the same thing. No wonder many developing countries remain poor and underdeveloped generation after generation.

Obvious abnormal behaviour becomes normal (like teen pregnancy) because it is so common, happens generation after generation and no one really questions it or thinks about the negative consequences especially for the kids who are left to deal with the confusing mess...

Also the stigma of being labelled a whore or a 'S' if they go from one man to another man in search for the faithful one, or go out and cheat themselves, will keep them in a situation they are really unhappy in.

[Vacara]

I'm not an expert in this field but let me use some logic to give a rational, critically thought, well thought out response.

- DR is a poor country with high unemployment, typically women are hit the hardest in tough economic environment so they would sacrifice some happiness for some financial security.

- Women lag behind men in education (in DR), it is typical in DR a woman would sacrifice, work a couple of shift, help the guy with college assignment so he can get his degree, once that happens she will find herself in the condition described above. Also in DR men encourage women not to seek jobs and stay home with the kids.

- Lack of proper family planning, once a girl has a baby (or babies!!!) it is hard for her to break the cycle of dependency, even if the marital condition warrant it.

- It is deeply embedded in Dominican culture men will get lot of women, since they are babies everybody tell them "tu va' tene' muchisimas novias". Women on the other hand can hardly afford to look promiscuous, once that line is crossed she will be forever "esa cuero 'el diablo, maldita puta vagamunda"

- Dominicans are deeply religious, Christianity (especially Catholicism) teach people to avoid at all cost to break the marriage. It also teaches "not to pay attention to suffering in this world but to focus instead in the afterlife", that is an explosive combination that expels doom for the weakest link at home.

I had a female friend married to a well to do engineer. The had three kids. The guy was two timing her badly, sleeping outside, coming home in the morning etc, but she never broke up cuz her family (and his family too!!!) encourage her to "hold on to god cuz he was going to fix her marriage", and hold on she did, for like 10 long years until one day he walked out the door and moved with his mistress. I guess god can't do everything.

[ExtremeR]

Originally Posted by badpiece33

No it doesn't make sense to just leave your man or woman because as a man you can truly love a woman and still have little trysts with other women. I actually think it is better in some relationships when the man has some fun on the side as long as he and his little side kicks realize that is all it is.
Go ahead ladies start bashing me but deep in your hearts some of you will agree with me,Lets just see if any of you will do it in writing.

Words of wisdom right there....

[suarezn]

Vacara: Good post. I guess we can all give opinions here as to why women stay, but when it comes down to it there are as many reasons to stay together as there are couples and each case is different. Like anything else is not a black and white thing but with many shades of gray in between.

Economic situation, education, religious believes, kids involved, how good in bed the guy is, how he treats her, how good looking the guy is, how rich, how popular, etc, etc, etc...all play some part as to why people stay in a marriage and not just in The DR, but anywhere in the world.

All I know is why change the system if it ain't broke...

[rsg]

Originally Posted by badpiece33

Men will be men anywhere on earth, it is not natural to be with one woman only, even though some of you manage to do it, God bless you guys, your much better than I ever can or will be. Dominican women accept this reality and as long as the man has his responsibilities straight and takes care of his woman and kids, then it is, if not acceptable it is ignored as long as he provides for his family.

There is nothing wrong if a guy wants 50 women at a time, as long as he is not married. A relationship is one thing, but why take those vows in church to make a mockery of them.

[À bientôt]

Originally Posted by rsg

There is nothing wrong if a guy wants 50 women at a time, as long as he is not married. A relationship is one thing, but why take those vows in church to make a mockery of them.

Wrong: cuernos by any other name are chifles.

[angie12]

There are plenty of reasons why a woman (regardless of ethnicity, race, age, etc) will stay in a relationship with a cheating man. One thing I have learned is that one can never say "I will not put up with this or that..." There are certain situations one will never understand until we find ourselves in the same predicament... cliche and all- but never say never...

[badpiece33]

Originally Posted by rsg

There is nothing wrong if a guy wants 50 women at a time, as long as he is not married. A relationship is one thing, but why take those vows in church to make a mockery of them.

The man may just want those 50 women to satisfy a physical urger nothing more. The wife at home is to be the mother of his children and the person who makes all public appearances and believe it or not his true love. I would bet you could hook up most wandering men (I dont like the term cheating) to a lie detector test and you would see they really do love their spouse,It is just a physical release with these other women, nothing more. I believe Dominican and for that matter most of the women of the world would agree with me and thats why they stay with their man.

[laurajane]

I agree that most men can truly love their wives and have sex with women that means nothing. Sex and matrimony are not exclusive to each other. I am not saying i would not be heart broken if i found out my husband had been unfaithful, but in truth there is a difference between a quicky and a long term love affair...now that is different.

Alot of my husbands sisters are with older men and do not love their husbands at all. I dont want them to sound heartless but finding the best provider is more important than faithfulness. One actually said to me they wished their husband would find a mistress so he would leave her alone, which i thought was really funny.

Personally for me i could not bare the thought of my husband having children with other women, but everyone is different and i guess if it does not worry them then it shouldnt worry me.

I agree that being bored is not something that only effects men and yes i believe us women do get bored much quicker, but i think we are better equipt to deal with the dissapointment ha ha! It seems that men think that they are the only ones who bore of the missus putting on a few pounds and maybe everything is not quite as perky as it once was, but think that us women obviously adore a big beer gut, baldness and the same predictable sexual moves every night.

I cant quite understand how a man could be attracted to or even in love with such a weak caracter/doormat, but then i suppose is serves them, so is it love or convenience that keeps these men with these women?

[Thandie]

Originally Posted by laurajane

One actually said to me they wished their husband would find a mistress so he would leave her alone, which i thought was really funny.

It seems that men think that they are the only ones who bore of the missus putting on a few pounds and maybe everything is not quite as perky as it once was, but think that us women obviously adore a big beer gut, baldness and the same predictable sexual moves every night.

LOL! Those are some of the exact things I overheard in the ladies locker room at my gym. I thought wow if these husbands ever heard what their wives were saying...yikes!
One woman even said that she was so turned off sexually and bored with her husband and his out of shape body that she would bring their toddler into the bed to sleep with them so she could have an excuse not to be intimate.

Some men are delusional when they think/say women dont really care about their appearance (beer belly, balding, unattractive) and its their smashing personality and humour that is more important.
hahaha ok if that is what they want to believe. As if women dont love and prefer a six pack, tight buns and a guy who really knows what he is doing. I guess that is why you see more and more older women with younger guys nowadays.
We are physical/visual beings too. We want sexy too!

Some men need to hit the gym and step it up in the bedroom cause their wives are probably more bored then they are.