Am I la Otra??

[Yayow]

Originally Posted by BettyDiamond

maybe there would be better options if you turned lesbian - just something to think about lol

Where did that come from???

[alicious]

Originally Posted by BettyDiamond

maybe there would be better options if you turned lesbian - just something to think about lol

Not if the woman is a Dominicana too. The women (yes I'm generalizing ...but a good 90-95%) are just as unfaithful as the men.

The only difference is the women are usually more discreet in hiding "La otra/o" from their main squeeze.

To the OP, I think from the nickname you have already chosen to post with on this site (LaOtra) you have already made up your mind from the time you decided to post on here.

You are not gonna get your "for sure" answer from people who don't know you or him, but it's good you have an open mind to try and see the situation from the outside and other points of view.

I wish you and your children the best in the future, and hope the best for you all. If that is you making a clean break from him(the more obvious choice), or having your man become more open and honest with what is going on . Clearly you can't ask him to stop talking to her, but unless he becomes open to the point where both you and his others babies momma can talk together and don't find any lies on either side....then.....how can you ever trust him enough to love him and have a relationship with him?

[JDJones]

Originally Posted by Yayow

Where did that come from???

I don't know, but I LIKED it!!

[rubio_higuey]

Originally Posted by LaOtra

I am fully aware he needs to and should be in contact with the mother of his children.

There are very few Dominicans (repeat: very few) who get to have "friendly" relationship with their ex and mother of their child(ren). Don't take me wrong - what I want to say that very many (repeat: big chunk) just make babies and don't even bother to look back. It is rare to see a responsible father (as we know it from the Western culture) - there are, but few about. Responsible fathers usually don't divorce.

What I want to say you have to look on many aspects - if he is from lower class it's most likely he belongs to the first (majority) group - simply it's because it's the way most of those people behave. Barrio tigueres. If he didn't tell you about her, most likely it's because he didn't want to (side interest). "Responsible" fathers have no fear of talking to their new spouses, about their exes and children, provided that new spouses are reasonably understanding characters.

[Yayow]

Originally Posted by rubio_higuey

.... Responsible fathers usually don't divorce.

.......

"Responsible" fathers have no fear of talking to their new spouses, about their exes and children, provided that new spouses are reasonably understanding characters.

I disagree with the first quote above, being a responsible father and having your marriage go sour, are two totally different things by anybody's standards. I myself am no longer with my ex, and when we split, she relocated to D.R. with my daughter, because I wanted to remain in my daughter's life, when I retired her being down here was the number one reason whyI too relocated to the D.R. As far as Dominican's taking the brunt or being the poster child for irresponibility in regards to fathers, they haven't cornered the market there are deadbeat dad's unfortunately everywhere, and those deadbeat dad's in my opinion do contribute mightyly to a lot of the social problems found in many places, not just the D.R.

As far as the second quote I agree with the vast majority of it. Responsible fathers don't have a problem talking to who ever they are involved with about their children and their children mother's. ..... That's stands even if the new spouses or girlfriends are reasonable or not reasonable understanding characters, it doesn't matter, or at least it shouldn't. Not being in your child's life because your new mate is not an understanding character....doesn't cut it. That is just an excuse that some, may try and use, but I ain't buying it.

[presidente]

Do you have any friends in the D.R.? If so maybe you can get them to do a little research on this guy. I believe there must be a public record if this guy was or still is married. Probably difficult from the U.S. but if you are in the D.R or know someone, spend a few bucks to find out. It will probably be less than u will end up spending on this guy in the future and you can know the truth. Good Luck....

[sylindr]

my husband has a young daughter.... he not only introduced me to the daughter's mother, I will sometimes go pick her up and bring her to our house if I have the car in town. We have a three way working relationship with the babies mother.... he is dominican, he is responsible and he wants me to know the girls mother because we all spend time with her. The mother was not happy at first but has gotten used to it. These women are very possessive. But he stood his ground and now it is all fine