Thinking outloud - Page 3

À bientôt · #21 09-09-2009, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SKing

,
Real Dominican men have a LIFE...they are professionals, or on the track to becoming professionals

SHALENA

Darn it! Not a pro, not on track, and unemployed... guess I'm a fake Dominican man.

After all these years... who woulda thunk it?!

AlterEgo · #22 09-09-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GKLSY

"...we managed to find two good ones. They are out there - someplace. Not in the tourist arenas. "

I'm just wondering how one would avoid being written off as a no good person if their family's home is in a tourist area, and was probably there before the area became a tourist area. Were they supposed to move when the resorts started going up? If not, were they supposed to stop living, going out, going to the beach, when the tourists took over? Personally, I am stubborn and would have stood my ground with the attitude "I was here first." That being said, I am certaint that although I would not have changed, the perception of me would have. I totally agree that there are opportunists who flock to the areas (tourist areas) where opportunities abound, but each person is an individual and I think it's the responsibility of the tourist to apply the same self preservation measures there as they would at home. People who get taken for a ride in the DR are probably the same people who get taken for a ride wherever they are.

I wasn't referring to where they lived, but where they worked. I used the word 'arena' for a reason - many of the sankies are in 'entertainment' at hotels. My husband's parents built a house smack dab in the center of SD, not far from the Embajador Hotel, and they've lived there since the '60s. I'd be the last person in the world to say they weren't good people because of where they live.

GKLSY · #23 09-09-2009, 06:09 PM

"I used the word 'arena' for a reason"

My mistake, I thought "arena" was a typo and read it as "area". Sorry.

samanasuenos · #24 09-09-2009, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elisabeth001

Are all Dominican Men sankies or what ? They can not be honest nor genuine nor faithful ? They all want something from us at the end ( visa, money, gifts ... ) Do they actually play the same game with many women at the same times ? ...

Why do I feel mine is different, that he is sincere and that he truly likes me .... but at the same time why would he be... and when i read and hear all those stories, it's always pretty much the same, same beginning, same phrases, same actions, same everything ...

At the end, they actually might like us, be we still are opportunities for them, a chance of a better future, better life... every relationship starts biased because we are not in an equal position, how do we know, guess we will never know even if it the relationship has an happy ending ...

--------------------
To the OP:

Hello dear,

Glad to see that you are asking some hard questions.

1. Of course, not ALL Dominican men are sankies, just many that a typical AI tourist is likely to encounter in a week away from home.

2. Can they be honest or faithful? One answer is that the best predictor of furture behavior is past behavior. And, I would add, the behavior of role-models. Or the lack of good role models.

Honesty and being faithful/monogamy seem to be many times less sacred to folks, once we head south of the North American Family Court System, child-support enforcement, etc....I am just sayin'.

I see Dominicans more often than "gringos" - living in the moment. And that can be good and that can be bad. For instance, he may really mean that he lovers you at 10:00 pm in your room, and tomorrow at Noon at the airport he really loves Helga from Frankfurt. He may not see why those ideas are mutually exclusive for you.

3. Do they play the same game with many women at one time? Well, if it is a game - why play with only one doll? No, really - do I have to answer that one?

4. Why do you feel that yours is different? Because, he is living in the moment, and this may be new for you. North American men may equate uttering "I love you" with a wife who will soon cut her long hair, get fat and wear sweat pants. So ya didn't hear it every 5 minutes at home, right?

Your "DDD" does not equate love with marriage. Re-read that. Let it sink in.

5. When you read the stories, they are all similar, yes - if it works well for Mr. Sanky, why would he mess up a good formula?

6. Every relationship CAN start out unequal. But one between a Dominican and a North American/Anglo/ Euro lover, will start out automatically OFF THE SCALES out of balance, unless of course, he passes the Hillbilly Test of Future Success Exam.

Because #6 is a fact, I wish you luck with your honey. Please do not make any life-changing decisions while you are "intoxicated" with new, strong, and addictive emotions. Give it time. Everything comes to the surface eventually.

-- Sammy

dragonfly5555 · #25 09-09-2009, 08:13 PM

I was with a Dominica man for 3 years who was supposedly "Christian". We were to be married this March. We are the same age (mid-40's), but yes, I did meet him in a tourist area.

I was never going to share this but I hope to let the OP to know to be aware.

I hired a Private Investigator, just on a feeling, a hunch, and some good advice from someone who told me it could not hurt.

Turns out my fiance was having a grand time without me there, sleeping with different women. Of course, I was heartbroken, now I am angry, feel like a fool, feel like I wasted 3 years. Over the course of the 3 years I was there 8 times, for 2 weeks to a month each stay.

I had been reading all the threads from the beginning--back to 2006--but thought my DR man was different, he had moved on from the tourist area to a decent job, was surrounded by good Christian people, was a leader in the church.

I am so happy I found out now. I am a professional woman, smart, educated. Anyone can be fooled. Of course, I met his family on several occasions, stayed with them, loved them. I went to church with him, fell in love, only to be betrayed.

It can happen to anyone any time, no matter where you live, but the men in the tourist areas really know how to play a woman....not all of them, but I would say 95% of them have intentions other than what you think. I know of other women whose DR men did not work in tourist areas, but the same thing has happened.

I would say be very very very careful, don't rush--look at me after 3 years. Hire a PI, no matter if you think he is different or not.

I refuse to dwell on this because life is too short. I will carry on and remember all of the wonderful people I met there, the beautiful country, and just take the good out of what happened.

Thank the Good Lord above that I found out, that I did not take him to Canada. Someone was watching over me.

SKing · #26 09-09-2009, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by À bientôt

Darn it! Not a pro, not on track, and unemployed... guess I'm a fake Dominican man.

After all these years... who woulda thunk it?!

Come on...you're great and you know it!!!

SHALENA

donP · #27 09-09-2009, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SKing

And his reply was "Just you, Mami, just you"

Now, isn't that sweet?

donP

SKing · #28 09-09-2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donP

Now, isn't that sweet?

donP

Yes, it was...and for that he received the best gift ever! jajajaja
SHALENA

Elisabeth001 · #29 09-09-2009, 10:59 PM

Seriously everybody working in a resort do it, i would not say 95% i would say 99.99%

Come on girls, how many times waiter/barmaid/animation/watersport guy or whatever went to talk to you, ask you to go to the disco... just like your sanky oups boyfriend /husband did with you... yours is just lucky because you actually let him a change but think about it, it is all the same beginning... why now would you be any different so special...

The guy has nothing to lose, everything to gain, even if it is not to get out of DR, if you go live there with him, his life will still be enhanced a little bit or a lot! no matter what, it can not be worse than is actual situation...

Just thinking outloud again, dont want to be negative, everything is possible !

dalila05 · #30 09-10-2009, 02:49 AM

well i as say previously,dont blame only the waiter/barmaid/animation/watersport guy but blame also the tourist in a search of easy sex and actions and also fairytales because this is not possible back home.
it takes 2 to tango!!!
but anything is possible and even so when it look fine never take it for granted!