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Originally Posted by Yayow
Again sorry for your experience dragonfly, and the pain that it caused you, To me the worst thing he did is that he lied to you because he probably told you that you were the only one. You believed him, thus your feelings of betrayal which is totally understandably by the way.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonfly5555
Of course I was surprised--I spoke to him every day, had his word and trusted that he was being faithful. I didn't worry about it--I just accepted that he was being honest as he said he was. Naive, probably--no definitely!! I think it is normal to be surprised no matter how much time we spent together over the period of 3 years.
People, when committed to being faithful and honest and respectful, should be. PERIOD!! Once that trust is broken, I don't think there is any going back--the doubt is always there.
I don't care what country you are from or what your culture is or if you are a man or woman, if you commit, you stay committed-- it just wasn't meant to be. And if you don't stay committed, you should have the decency to tell your partner immediately.  t |
Again as I stated from my first comment, I really think the worst thing he did is that he lied to you, he didn't man up, although I know or think I know the reason why he wouldn't.
And you are absolutely right, once the trust is broken, it is hard to repair the relationship and earn the trust back, and if you don't trust your partner what do you actually have as far as a relationship is concerned, and as you said he obviously broke your trust.
I certainly wish you well on any future or current relationships that you may be involved in, but there is a story (that I read elsewhere), that maybe someone else can expound on, about a scorpion, I probably am not saying it correctly but the story goes something like this:
There was a scorpion that wanted to cross a river, but because of his size he wasn't able to do so, he sees a young lady who is getting ready to cross the same river and asks her if she would be kind enough to carry him across the river, the young lady looks at him and quickly says no way, because you will sting me. The scorpion looks at her and says certainly not, I would forever be in your debt because without you I would not be able to cross and I need to get to the other side, so if you help me, I would certainly not sting you.
The young lady considers what he says and to her it makes sense and she agrees to carry him across the river, halfway across the river she feels a sting which causes her to lose control of her faculties, and as she, and the scorpion are going down the river, it is clear that surely that each of them will drown, with one of her last breaths, she asks the scorpion why did he sting her, surely causing both of them to die. The scorpion looks up at her and says, well you knew I was a scorpion before you agreed to carry me across, that is what I do, what else did you expect me to do?
I am sure that others can tell this tale much better than I, but it does certainly have a lot of truth to it.
Many times we may wish to change the nature of someone else, and actually believe them when they tell us that they have changed, but after all they are who they are and before we completely trust them or what they tell us, we should try and know what their true nature is. Best way to do this in my opinion is to observe them, in their true natural habitat, and be guided by that, it is hard to get a true feel of the nature of someone if you only see them in the good times.
VENUS whatever thread
