18 year old Dominican Stepchild in the USA

[gringobachata7]

I am just looking for advice. I am a 46 year old US citizen. I met my wife in the Dominican Republic and married her and brought her here. Her 18 year old son was not able to eat well and was skinny as a bone and so I helped to get him a Visa. He came here and would only argue, scream, yell, complain about me, he broke 2 doors in the house, he would not work even though I got him a work permission from immigration, would sleep with music blasting. FLunked all of his classes in school, would stay on the computer talking to girls until 5 or 6 am and would miss church or be late for school because of this. Would argue with his mother. Picked his nose at my parents' house nonstop and I told him to stop and he proceeded to scream and say it is my body i can do what i want, it is mine, then started to try to push me to leave the room in front of his mother, my mother and my niece. Broke curfew and came home at 1130pm instead of 11am and then broke the door which costed a grand to fix because we were all sleep. Told me I am not his father many times even though he came on a visa for a son to reunite with his father and his biological father deserted him. Another day he broke another door because he opened the outer door and the wind blew and cracked the wood open that it was connected to. Then I told him not to do it and he said he would than I said no and then he argued. I told him to look for jobs and he said he would not and argued another. Just NONSTOP crap from him. He would come and go and do as he pleased and his mother would tolerate this. He came to church in a gangster styled ski cap and lost his temper when everyone said to remove it. ONe day, I put his clothes on the bed to wait to give him a lecture.... He came home and lost his temper, then I said let us talk. we went into the room and i said there are rules in this house. obey them or leave. i was in the doorway, he began to push me, i pushed back and said stay here. then he argued and pushed me again and proceeded to punch me. I am a blue belt in jiu jitsu and a black in karate and a former boxer and trained in 5 other arts. I took him down, trapped an arm and punched him in his teeth and elbowed him in the forehead since he was trying to punch me. Then I left him there. Then I stood up and seconds later he charged me and i had him in a choke. Then i let him up then he charged again and i choked him until he relaxed. He threatened to call the police and ran when i let him go. now he works in a barber shop with no license and does not liv ein the house and i want him to go back to the dr but his passport is lost. His mother and family there are pushing to try to get me to support him again and help him to stay in the usa but I keep saying no.

[gringobachata7]

also, he complained nonstop saying he does not like the usa and that he thought money would just be laying in the street for him here to pick up. he ate every meal as if it were a buffet since we have so much food, he had hundreds of pieces of clothing because I helped, he has it all, a cell phone with unlimited minutes, a two parent home, everything imaginable but all he would do was complain about me and the usa and that he did not want to go to the dr.

[gringobachata7]

also, might I add, he was in the 9th grade and is 18!! he would not try a ged or high school dregree and prefers to spend all his time with 14 year olds and goof off in high school!

[gringobachata7]

I just would like to know what people would do in my shoes. Because my marriage and everything in my life is fine. But I live in constant crap because my wife keeps giving me the he came form my stomach line and the DR family keeps trying to talk me into letting him stay. i am just curious what people would do in my shoes.

[SKing]

Originally Posted by gringobachata7

I just would like to know what people would do in my shoes. Because my marriage and everything in my life is fine. But I live in constant crap because my wife keeps giving me the he came form my stomach line and the DR family keeps trying to talk me into letting him stay. i am just curious what people would do in my shoes.

Tell your wife that you married HER and not him, and find out how to ship his a$$ right back to DR. I would have another opinion if he was a child but he is an adult...find out how to ship him back, and quickly, because the last thing you need is him ending up breaking up your marriage
SHALENA

[gringobachata7]

his passport is lost. does anyone know how he can still leave for the DR?

[Chip]

I would send him back to the some family in the DR. One way or another this won't last long.

Tell your wife that you'll send whoever cares for him enough money that he won't have to work if he doesn't want to. US200 a month should do.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by gringobachata7

his passport is lost. does anyone know how he can still leave for the DR?

If he is a Dominican citizen all I think he needs is his cedula to get into the country.

[AlterEgo]

Originally Posted by SKing

Tell your wife that you married HER and not him, and find out how to ship his a$$ right back to DR. I would have another opinion if he was a child but he is an adult...find out how to ship him back, and quickly, because the last thing you need is him ending up breaking up your marriage
SHALENA

I absolutely agree with Shalena. If this continues you won't have a marriage either. Get him another passport at the Dominican Consulate [I assume he lost the Dominican one]. My nephew lost his Dominican passport in NY last year, and the Dominican Consulate gave him some sort of temporary paper/passport to get back to SD.

Good luck to you, my heart goes out to you for what you're dealing with.

AE

[gringobachata7]

Thank you. and this went on for over a year until one day, he decided to try to hit me.