Culture Shock

[Chirimoya]

Maybe she has OCD.

One of my sisters-in-law is like that when she visits, she just can't help it.

[Yayow]

Originally Posted by Chirimoya

Maybe she has OCD.

One of my sisters-in-law is like that when she visits, she just can't help it.

If that is the case then it is of epidemic porportions, among Dominican women and someone should call the health department and look into it.

Just kidding with you, it does seem to be cultural though the way women were brought up down here, always sweeping and mopping etc.

[Chirimoya]

The other sisters in law are houseproud, but do not feel compelled to rearrange the ornaments when they visit other people!

[RGVgal]

It's the way we are raised. My mom and her sister were raised to do everything for the men in the house, they had to do everything for their two brothers. They are both college educated, professional women who grew up in the big city of Santiago, so it has nothing to do with growing up in a campo.

My mom raised me in a similar way and I grew up in the U.S. She gets upset if she visits me and sees my husband pick up his dinner plate and put it in the sink after he is done eating. She thinks I should be doing everything for him even though I work a full time job also.

[Kajuilito]

Yes. Its part of the culture. Women serve, men do whatever they want. Its extremely convenient for men (*ahem* Pig) but not so much for the women, as they seem to believe their purpose in life is to serve and be a maid to men.

So its "lovely" if you're a man and, well, exploitative if you're a woman.

[badpiece33]

Originally Posted by Rbh44

During my recent trip to the Dominican Republic I was exposed to the gender culture. I was introduced to a young woman in Santiago and we went out for dinner. We returned to my hotel later to use my laptop for translating because my Spanish is very basic. When we entered the room she noticed my unpacked suitcase on the bed. She immediately unpacked my suitcase and put everything away. I sat on the bed and started to remove my shoes but she took over and did it. I put sugar in my coffee and she is stirring it before I have a chance. She tried to clean the hotel room, twice. Finally I just let her. She always tried to defer to me when I would ask her something. Now, I have always done for my self so this was an experience. I have been told that this is part of the culture and normal. Looking for some more experienced observations on the subject. Oh, and she is a very nice girl. Has a decent job and went home alone every night we went out. She told me she was raised in the campo if that makes a difference.

Wish I could send some of these NY women down there for some training in the Campo!!!

[Adrian Bye]

Originally Posted by Kajuilito

Yes. Its part of the culture. Women serve, men do whatever they want. Its extremely convenient for men (*ahem* Pig) but not so much for the women, as they seem to believe their purpose in life is to serve and be a maid to men.

So its "lovely" if you're a man and, well, exploitative if you're a woman.

Is that because US culture is the One True Way. ?

[Kajuilito]

Originally Posted by adrianb

Is that because US culture is the One True Way. ?

No, Its because even though this culture is wonderful for men, it hurts and demeans women and makes them out to be second class citizens, whether expats see them that way or not. Dominican men usually do. Nothing to do with the US and more to do with basic equality that people deserve everywhere. If this wasnt a problem there wouldnt be so many emerging feminist groups in the DR. Some ladies are tired of it and others simply dont know any better. See the "Dominican women and cheating" thread.

[Kajuilito]

Originally Posted by Pig

I reverse that on you 100%, well in my experience anyway! We all have our place in the home, in life and in each others lives, without these places to belong we would only be lost souls searching for something we didn't even know existed. In effect we are all here to serve each other in some form or another, whether you like it or not.

Let us note that you werent raised as a Dominican man to see women as "less than". So you dont treat her like some of them would and therefore it works and you are both happy. This is not usually the case. See the "Dominican women and cheating" thread.

[Kajuilito]

Originally Posted by Pig

Can't find that thread my friend. I would like to see what direction this arguement takes though, I already have a good idea in my mind how this will pan out.

Sorry for my idiosity, I still can't find it, can you link me up?

Heres a DR1 link to an article http://dr1.com/articles/machismo.shtml

and the thread Dominican women and cheating

Basically its insanity to deny the gender-based oppression women in the DR face due to the typical latin-american "machismo" attitude that many expats dont necessarily share (thats not to say it doesnt exist everywhere to varying degrees). There are real and true VERY negative effects, as cute as it may seem for those who dont understand the plight of dominican women.