Culture Shock

[Chip]

To the op,

Imo living here in Santiago and being married to a Dominican, women are being more and more independent in their mindset and one might not expect to see this type of care from girl raised in the urban areas. In fact, if I asked any of my wifes neices who are of age if they would do that I'm sure they would all laugh. Also, they or any other decent girl would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be caught (by their parents or family of course) going to the hotel room with a virtually unknown person or even a boyfriend. You really need to seriously question the motives of this girl, what she did is just not acceptable here, at least among the family. Certainly, people will do this and they do but they would never let their parents know.

[curlando]

I notice when women in DR unpack your suitcase they are snooping around and as far as that nice behavior only time will tell. I never unpack my suitcase anymore in DR. The rule that works for me is nothing to see nothing to steal.
I have had a few bad experiences with unpack suitcase and leaving my toiletries in the bathroom.
This really happened to me in 2004.
I was seeing this college educated woman in DR for a few months. I notice see never carried a toothbrush on her overnight stays with me. One day while she was in the bathroom I peeked in and she was brushing her teeth with my toothbrush. She saw me and said "hola papi". Needless to say, if I had food in my belly I would have lossed it. Yuk.

Just hide your toothbrush fellas.

[Kajuilito]

Originally Posted by Pig

Am I reading this wrong or are you questioning our manly status because we hold women with equal and if not more regard than our fellow men?

Sorry if I got that wrong, maybe I have just read it 3 times over 10 minutes and it is making a different meaning each time, lol

You are reading far too much into it. I mean what I say. Had I meant you are less of a man for daring to view women as equals, I wouldve said so. Did you not notice that it was the opposite? I condemn those who DONT see women as equals.

If you got "you are less of a manly man" from that then I think maybe that "Daddy Hulk" spirit you've been mentioning crept up on you lol It was all the contrary.

Note I expressed just how much it hurts women to NOT be held as equals.

I do not believe in Machismo. I thought that was clear. Treating women like dirt doesnt make you more of a man. It makes you an a-hole.

[Rbh44]

Originally Posted by Chip

To the op,

Also, they or any other decent girl would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever be caught (by their parents or family of course) going to the hotel room with a virtually unknown person or even a boyfriend. You really need to seriously question the motives of this girl, what she did is just not acceptable here, at least among the family. Certainly, people will do this and they do but they would never let their parents know.

Her parents live in the campo and she lives and works in Santiago. I understand what you are saying and she certainly did not stay in the room with me. We only used my laptop for a while then she went home. And I am not certain I agree with those that say it is demeaning to women. Everything has to viewed in the context of the culture and situation. If, due to many contributing factors, there is not much opportunity for women outside the home it is natural that they still want to contribute to the marriage and the home. It is understandable that they would take great pride in caring for the home and their man. That is their part of the "bargain" in some cultures. Please understand I am not saying that women should not have equal opportunity, ideally all people should have equal opportunity, but that is not always the case. People need a sense of self-worth.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by Rbh44

It is understandable that they would take great pride in caring for the home and their man.

The care and attention this girl showed might be still somewhat common in some campos for a girl who is married or in an "amor publico", but certainly not for a complete stranger.

Therefore, I say again you should question the motives of this girl, she is obviously going way past the norms here to impress you. BTW, my wife is a country girl and we go to the country every weekend so I see what is normal.

[Kajuilito]

Originally Posted by Rbh44

Her parents live in the campo and she lives and works in Santiago. I understand what you are saying and she certainly did not stay in the room with me. We only used my laptop for a while then she went home. And I am not certain I agree with those that say it is demeaning to women. Everything has to viewed in the context of the culture and situation. If, due to many contributing factors, there is not much opportunity for women outside the home it is natural that they still want to contribute to the marriage and the home. It is understandable that they would take great pride in caring for the home and their man. That is their part of the "bargain" in some cultures. Please understand I am not saying that women should not have equal opportunity, ideally all people should have equal opportunity, but that is not always the case. People need a sense of self-worth.

Within the context of the culture its demeaning because it still hurts women. Outside of the context of the culture, its also demeaning. Like you said, all should have equal opportunities and since they DONT, its demeaning. Theres no getting around that no matter how convenient it may be for a male.

Adjusting to and surviving oppression isnt the same as "thriving and being happy". If you always get the short end of the bargain simply because you possess certain sexual organs, how on earth is it a question as to whether or not its demeaning? Only a man (or a woman who only knows gender oppression--take your pick) would question how adversely affected women are by gender oppression . When you have always held a "superior" position in society based on your sex, its hard to accurately view the experiences of those who are assigned the "inferior" position. Obliviousness of Male priviledge in full effect. And for the women, if they think its "normal" to be inferior, How is that not demeaning?

Please reread that DR1 article on Machismo I linked to previously. It seems you havent quite grasped the entire scope of it.