True or not?

Dominicanero · #1 10-15-2009, 08:43 PM

Is it part of dominican culture for the man to help support the woman financially if he is in a relationship with her (her boyfriend or fiancé)?

A lot of dominican women have told me that this the case, saying that if the man wants to be in a comitted relationship with a woman (whether he's dominican or not) then as part of their culture he's expected to at least contribute to her financially to some degree. However, I'm not sure if they're speaking the truth or just talking B.S. to try and sucker a foreign guy into sending her money.

I can picture a dominican girl feeding this line of B.S. to four or five gullible suckers and having each of them send some money to her, all the while believing that they're the only one in her life, and her sitting back and raking in the dough.

Is there an element of truth to it, or is it a complete lie used by sankies?

frank recktenwald · #2 10-15-2009, 09:14 PM

Relatives help each other here that's true as anywhere else in the 3rd world but off course they expect more from a foreigner. All you have to do is put your rules if she doesn't accept it than move on to another one. There're lots out here who won't bug you to provide for their family,

Dominicanero · #3 10-15-2009, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frank recktenwald

Relatives help each other here that's true as anywhere else in the 3rd world but off course they expect more from a foreigner. All you have to do is put your rules if she doesn't accept it than move on to another one. There're lots out here who won't bug you to provide for their family,

But is it part of the dominican culture for the fiance or boyfriend to support or at least help support the woman once they've agreed to be comitted to one another? I mean, is it a very common thing among dominicans?

Or is that just a complete line of BS?

jrhartley · #4 10-15-2009, 11:39 PM

if you arent dominican you dont need to follow the cultural ways-its a get out clause

Tamborista · #5 10-15-2009, 11:53 PM

Do you take care of your novia back home or do you make her pay for own movie ticket & popcorn? It is not exclusive to Latin culture, to be "The Man".

Just out of curiosity, where did you meet this Princessa?

Dominicanero · #6 10-16-2009, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamborista

Do you take care of your novia back home or do you make her pay for own movie ticket & popcorn? It is not exclusive to Latin culture, to be "The Man".

Just out of curiosity, where did you meet this Princessa?

What "Princesa"? Where is anyone in particular mentioned in my post? Can you read?

Put down the mamajuana bottle and go sleep it off. This question was for mature, intelligent adults who know the difference between Financial Support and paying for dinner, movies and popcorn when on a date.

Yayow · #7 10-16-2009, 07:44 AM

You pose an interesting question, and one that I suspect can best be answered by a Dominican, who actually grew up in the culture. As for myself, I used to be married to a Dominican, one who I met in the States, we no longer live together, but interesting enough we both now live in the Dominican Republic, which I think is essential in regards to raising our daughter. I can say from my experience and again I am not Dominican, so my experiences may be different, so I really can't speak upon their culture, she never asked me to contribute to her family, while we were dating or even once we got married. Now this may be an anomaly for a few reasons, so others may be able to address your specific question better based on their knowledge and experiences. The first reason that my situation may be an anomaly is that we lived in N.Y. (not the D.R. so things may be different just based on that), during that time she never specifically asked for money to send to her family, of course her immediate family also resided in NY, so that could have been the reason. Secondly her immediate or nuclear family although not rich weren't in any type of dire straits financially (they were comfortable financially and I knew that). Thirdly for whatever reason, she wasn't particularly close to her family, which I believe is not the norm for most Dominicans.

I mean when ever she went to D.R. she would of course pack up they huge care baskets of clothes and other items, which I assumed she distributed when she reached, but specifically asking for money, never. Even now I give her money of course monthly, and I don't know what she does with it, whether or not she distributes or assist relatives in need or not.

The phenomenon of women asking for money for various family emergency reasons, I only encountered once I moved here, and for the most part I believe the majority of them are B.S. I mean how many babies can be sick, and how many parents are in dire need of operations. But you hear those type of things all the time, which I find sad because when someone is really in trouble no one will believe them. I believe if someone is approaching you with a line about a family emergency, the chances are it is B.S. But as far as culturally expecting you to help support the family, like I said a Dominican can best answer that, but that wasn't my particular experience.

Yayow · #8 10-16-2009, 07:58 AM

You know I just re-read your original post, it wasn't you that mentioned relatives it was someone responding to your post, I guess it is to early in the morning and my brain isn't functioning completely, so my previous post probably isn't relative to your specific question.

But just in general I always think of it this way, what if she didn't meet you, then what would she have done? If she was surviving ok, before you why should she expect you to support her just because you are dating (after all she is not your child). Some women have been known to find a few gullible men, and give them the same line, I guess it works until the men are in town at the same time, then what does she do?

Again you ask if this is cultural, and I certainly can't answer that, but I tend to do my own thing, and really aren't concerned too much with societal mores or ancient history. I find that most people tend to lean on customs when it is to their advantage, when it is not to their advantage they tend to be more modern and hip in their outlooks.

Almost sounds like the women who have told you this expect to be compensated for dating you, I read about the "compensated dating" becoming very popular in Hong Kong on another site and CNN recently filed a report regarding the phenomenon. If that is the case, well it is what it is, now isn't it.

frank recktenwald · #9 10-16-2009, 10:07 AM

Apparently it wasn't clear what I wrote so let me try again. Yes it's part of the culture but as in any relation whether it's here or anywhere else in the world you make agreements.
To use myself as an example when I arrived here my woman would ask me also for money to give to her dad or one of her sisters, I stopped this right away, I told her that I'm taking care of her and her kids as well of the one that we have together who is my priority and I'm not responsible for the rest of the family, period. The only thing I would do is if they're hungry they can come to my house to eat and that's it.
Thank God they didn't like that so they don't come to my house and I'm happy for that not having to look at their faces.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominicanero

But is it part of the dominican culture for the fiance or boyfriend to support or at least help support the woman once they've agreed to be comitted to one another? I mean, is it a very common thing among dominicans?

Or is that just a complete line of BS?

Princesa777 · #10 10-16-2009, 12:37 PM

I lived in the DR for some years and have some dominican girl friends over there (lower and upper class) and in my home country. If a guy wants to get with a Dominican girl as a rule he has to spend (alot

) of money on her, it doesnt matter if the girl is low class or high class.
What I have noticed however is that the difference between high versus low class is, that with high class girls, a guy has to spend a lot of money on taking her to dinner, taking her shopping etc. before she will get to the point that they want to have sex with you. They dont ask for money and you dont have to support them financially, but they expect you to pay (big time).
Low class girls in general are (way) easier to get in bed with, you dont need to spend a lot of money 'getting' them, but they do expect you to support them...even more so if a foreigner is involved. If you do, that is ofcourse up to you (I wouldnt recommend it).