Mixed Marriage-Future?

CandyApples · #1 10-21-2009, 01:42 PM

I wanted to post to share an experience and bring something up for discussion. Why do foreigners and Dominicans get married? Everyone’s got an opinion about the Dominican, but looking at it from another point of view.

I lived for about 2 years in Santo Domingo, and during that time I met an in-law of a cousin of my husband. She was a nice woman, around 28, in med school, pretty, very little English, we got along well. She met a fellow Canadian on a chat and used Google translate to communicate. They got married after about 2 years, and were doing the long distance thing. He’s a retired fire-fighter, late fifties.

I came to meet him one day when they were returning from a jog and passing by. They seemed to be having a great time.

Being another Canadian, we began chatting, and he told me that he loves her very much, wants her to meet his kids (grown up). And he’s applied for a 2nd visitor’s visa for her, the first was denied.

I asked if he was going to do the papers to bring her to Canada, and he said he was ‘too busy right now.’

So here’s the question-why did this guy marry this girl? He’s not willing to move there, he’s not willing to take her to his country. She wants a life together, and whatever her motives are, although I think she might be genuine, getting married does imply joining lives. I got to thinking about this. How many couples out there are like this. And what is it for, if it’s to keep the person hanging on to a vacation romance for indeterminate periods of time I think it’s wrong.

suarezn · #2 10-21-2009, 03:55 PM

He's obviously in it for the sex and the fact he wouldn't be able to get someone that young in his own country (at his age).

She's obviously in it for the possibility of emigrating to Canada one day. Once she realizes it's not going to happen she'll drop him like a hot potato. In the meantime she's most likely not alone when he's not there, so keeping up the charade is not that hard.

Man...I'm in such a good "advice providing" mood today...I feel like "The Sage from Detroit"...

Hillbilly · #3 10-21-2009, 06:33 PM

DId she graduate frm medical school?

If she did, she should apply to a residence in Canada and see how that goes.

Otherwise your friend is just doing what you said. What the heck, two can play the game.

HB

AlterEgo · #4 10-21-2009, 07:23 PM

It's not just 'mixed' marriage couples that live in different countries. My husband's 30 yr old Dominican nephew met a Dominican girl years ago in SD. Her family had green cards and moved to PA. The couple was still in love even after the separation, and they spent a year or two shuttling between the US and DR. They got married about 3 years ago in PA. No kids so far. She lives with her mother in PA, he lives in their apt. in DR. His parents both live in DR, his sister is an engineer in Oklahoma. The wife is now a US citizen, speaks pretty good English, has a decent job here. He understands English, but is one of those people who is afraid to speak it. I think that's what keeps him in SD. He has 2 jobs there - successful in sales and also is a pretty well known DJ. He's had a US tourist visa since he was a baby, so he comes in the US and goes at will. It's just that their jobs are in 2 different countries. It works for them. When they have kids they plan to make a decision about where their family will live, but until then they're working and saving $$$.....

It wouldn't be MY cup of tea, but it does work for some.

AE

rsg · #5 10-22-2009, 10:23 AM

Here we go again,all the same comments that this married girl is cheating on her 55 year ols Canadian hubby. Do you guys really think that this wonderful man is siting home everynight alone waiting to visit his wife in the DR every three months?

Chip · #6 10-22-2009, 10:26 AM

The topic of this thread should be something other that "mixed marriages" because that has nothing to do with the discussion. I myself am in a mixed marriage and I don't find this discussion remotely relevant.

Kyle · #7 10-22-2009, 10:44 AM

this sounds more like interracial marraige.
the term "mixed" marraige occurs between a catholic and a non-catholic as stated by the Catholic church.

people often get these terms confused. plz review the terms interracial, multiracial and mixed.

thank you

Chip · #8 10-22-2009, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle

this sounds more like interracial marraige.
the term "mixed" marraige occurs between a catholic and a non-catholic as stated by the Catholic church.

people often get these terms confused. plz review the terms interracial, multiracial and mixed.

thank you

As a Catholic I suppose I should know that. However, whether Catholic or not "mixed marriage" is still a commonly used term for interracial marriage.

BBC NEWS | Americas | US judge's mixed marriage refusal

mixed marriage - Definition from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

El Rey de Mangu · #9 10-22-2009, 11:20 AM

As a white American New Yorker, I found myself years ago very much attracted to Dominican women and the Dominican culture.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I couldn't take ONE MORE DAY of the typical neurotic, nagging, jaded middle-American white chick and their inherent search for identity via marriage, Oprah, the gym, and a myriad of baby shower's, daily coffee clutches, Target shopping and mani/pedi obsessions.

The countless dates from which I sat across at my favorite restaurants on the Upper East Side, where I was interrogated and water-boarded to the point where I couldn't finish a meal.

bob saunders · #10 10-22-2009, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyle

this sounds more like interracial marraige.
the term "mixed" marraige occurs between a catholic and a non-catholic as stated by the Catholic church.

people often get these terms confused. plz review the terms interracial, multiracial and mixed.

thank you

I guess I've got a mixed, multiracial, intercultural marriage.