Off resort sankies...I got out in time..list of red flags to watch for

[AnnaC]

To the original poster cbello,
I remember you posting questions when you were moving to the DR, did you ever wonder before you moved there if he was or wasn't a sankie and what made you think he was different than the subjects we had going here?

I hope it wasn't only because he didn't work in a resort because if you read "sankies for dumbies" or the article on sankies it clearly states that, not all sankies are resort workers and not all resort workers are sankies. It's all over the place but it happens that more girls/women will ask about the ones inside the hotel.

But I understand when you are in a delusion called love it's hard to see the signs.

[cbello]

I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged when reading the responses to my posting. I have rarely seen such great support and would like to thank all of you (except for one individual, who that is, will become clear in a few words). Your support and encouragement is greatly appreciated.

As for the other response, comparing sankies to an adventure is like saying that Hurricane Katrina was an interesting weather pattern. Both are devastating phenomenon that destroys people’s lives. As for when will sankie threads stop, probably when the last sankie dies, which is not for a forcible future. Too many people rather live off others than live for themselves. Researchers have tried to eradicate infectious parasites for a long time but they keep thriving off others, plus I don’t think sanitizing the island would be viewed as acceptable, regardless of the good it would do.

Anyone even just alluding to loosing respect for victims of affection predators is not worth any empathy or sympathy themselves. Not condoning these actions automatically reflects approval and even denotes tendencies that that person might have to enjoy the fruit of other people’s labor.

[suitelady79]

There are hundreds of forums on DR1 probably and it just amazes me when people come into the specific forums like the Sankie or Mars/Venus forums and complain about reading about sankies or about hearing people's stories. If you are so tired, stop making a point of coming here! We can really do without your comments. You know what you're getting into when you click on the link, if you don't likewhat you are reading, stop clicking the link! Simple enough, I hope.

[cbello]

AnnaC,

I will try to write as many details as I can without putting too many personal details, figure you understand why.

To me clear signs that someone is a sankie is that he is far too willing and way too fast at accepting what you offer. This will be visible at different degree but will always be there.

Out of my personal experience, and please do remember that at that time I could not see it because my brain was being clouded by love. At one time he told me that his work was really dangerous. When I met him he was providing security for a government official at the resort where I was. We continued to have a relationship on the phone and he was really nice. When I returned there for a vacation, thinking that I might see him, you never know. He magically appeared. He said he was going to spend a bit of time with me because he missed me a lot. Then he told me that his work was really dangerous and that because of that and because he wanted to spend what ever little time I was going to be here with me so he quit his job. He then stayed with me and my 12 year old daughter for 5 weeks.

After that time, I returned to Canada because I had to work. He stayed on and we continued our relationship on the phone. I knew he didn’t have much money so I am the one that invested large amounts of money buying long distance cards. We would talk for hours and he would never ask for anything but he would explain how hungry he was, or how much his mother was sick, I loved the man so what else could I do but to offer help. He always knew how much to say no and then at the last minute would tell me how much he appreciates me doing that for him or for her BUT he would ALWAYS ACCEPT. We continued our relationship and I felt good that I loved him, that he loved me and that I was able to help the man I loved, telling myself that if the roles would be reversed he would do this for me in an instant, after all, I always have to insist (sankies are smart enough to know that you NEVER say YES at first, it looks too much like begging).

As we continued our relationship and since we had gotten married the last time I was there, things kept on the same, he would talk and I would send him money to ease his suffering.

I then decided that I want to be with the man I love and decided to move to DR, I planned to go there for 6 months, get organized and see about making it more permanent. I went there; after I told him that I couldn’t pay for everything, he got a nowhere job. He worked at running around as a go-for in a small company. We had a great time, as long as I had money we lived well, life was tough, we would live on the money I had saved up. We talked and he sort of led me to think that life would be so much better if we were in Canada, he would get a great job, buy a house etc...

I returned to Canada and started the process to have him immigrate to Canada. During this time he continued to work, suddenly, a few days before Christmas he told me that he had lost his job, his boss didn’t like him anymore. Then a few days after he said that he had received his last pay and got robed on the way home, nothing else was taken but his money and bonus. That lasted for 7 months. I visited him in March. I had sent him money to pay for the rent on our apartment and was surprised to find that he had also enough to buy himself designer clothes. I found it funny and was asking myself, why would you buy expensive new clothes just to stay at home, he should have used the money for something more useful, after all I was depriving myself to be sure he had enough to pay rent and have enough to eat.

During this time I was encouraging him to find a job, he told me he was looking every day, but could not find one. I sort of got on his case for him to get a job or else when the consular people would ask him what he does for a living it would look bad. Like magic, two days after he found a job. I had also enrolled him, and paid for, and English course. It turned out that he attended 1 class and decided that it gave him headaches and he couldn’t go anymore. I then started to have doubts, I still loved him but I was thinking that he was starting to show too many signs that I was providing for him and he was enjoying life.

Now I have stopped all procedure for him to immigrate to Canada, I do not send him money, have not called him in several months (he has never called me) and I have started the proceeding for a divorce. I wish I could have read a story like this two years ago, things might have been different

[AnnaC]

Thanks for posting this.

I think it might helps all those that have said "but he has never asked me for anything" and don't see any of the signs that are posted over and over again.

If you're planning on bashing this woman be forewarned it will be deleted.

[AnnaC]

Originally Posted by cbello

Now I have stopped all procedure for him to immigrate to Canada, I do not send him money, have not called him in several months (he has never called me) and I have started the proceeding for a divorce. I wish I could have read a story like this two years ago, things might have been different

Just a quick question. Did he ever get the call to be interviewed by immigration? I think you mentioned something about pest control but I wasn't sure what you meant by it.

[Audra]

Wow,

This is one of the best examples of how disgusting these sankies are, and like most, she was unaware of the sankie phenomenon in the DR. All the examples of the events and timelines are posted in the sankie stickies.

I'm glad you didn't get him here, it would have been even worse.

I hope by sharing your story you will save others from this heartache.

Wow, rebuild and move on. Congratulations.

[cbello]

I guess there is a guardian angel up there looking out for me. I cut it close; the call to be interviewed was days away when I pulled my sponsorship. Luckily I managed to get high level support at the government to pull the plug.

The pest control is that the government seems to be slow and while you are going through this whole process you find is very aggravating. This is all done with reason. These are actually cold and unemotional people, and it is a good thing that they are. They guard our borders against predators that feed off good people’s emotions and sentiments. They are the raid of our nation defending us against evil and bad, spraying around a generous portion of slowness and incorporation. This usually discourages the less vigorous and sankies from making to the end of the process. In my case I must admit that it worked really well. I promised never (like life warranties, or 3 months, which ever comes first) to complain against how slow and unresponsive government workers are.

[DominicanScotty]

A friend whoI worked with met a Dominicana somewhere in Washington Hgts. For all of you that do not know where that is it is in North Manhattan of New York City and perhaps the largest enclave of Dominican immigrants in the entire world. Yeah, yeah...she was here already when he met her. He courted her, fell in love with her, married her, worked his tail off, bought her a house, sent her to college, had a child with her and everything was hunky dory!

Then..one day "It" arrived.

"It" came by way of some foolish female tourist that brought him to the states on a visa. "It" met this gringa somewhere in the Dominican Republic. Doesn't matter where it was. On resort, off resort, blah blah blah. "It" didn't give a damn about it's host (the gringa) and sought out "It's" original novia from the barrio. Yes, that's right, the woman that is oh so happily married to my friend. My friend comes home from work one day and "It" was lounging on the couch. "Who is this?" My friend asks. "Oh this is my primo. He will be staying with us. This is the way we do it in my country. No problem ok!". She didn't even ask my friend, just laid down that law right then and there. So "It" was in and "It" was never to be discussed. "It" was in and that was that. At first "It" stayed out of the way and was respectful. After all, "It" had to pretend "It" was a primo and not an "It". However, "It" could not help "Itself", "It" is what "It" is....

Then there was the touching between "It" and my friend's wife. The hand on the backside, the groin into the backside. "Oh, this is how we do in my country. No problem ok!". His wife assured him. "It" was making "Itself" at home. One day my friend came home and "It" was sleeping nude on my friend and his wife's bed. "What is he doing sleeping there and nude?" My friend asked. "Oh.... he likes the airconditioning in our room. This is how we do in my country. No problem...it is ok, this is how we do in my country. No problem....ok". My friend bought "It" his own airconditioner for "It's" room.
"It" became more and more disrespectful towards my friend. Often challenging him and insulting him. My friend was a large man and could have squashed this "It" but he had respect for his wife and her culture. Well, one day he came hom from work after tricking "It" into believing he would be at work. "It" and my friend's wife were in bed having sex. Two "Its" multiplying in their new world.

Immediately, my friend was thrown out of the house by the invading "Its". Divorce papers were filed. Orders of protection to stay away from the house, the baby, the "Its", everything. He was a fool I admit, but he was a fool with a loving heart and in love. He never fought the "Its". Now the "Its" lived in his house with his child and now their newborn "It".

My friend committed suicide from an overdose of pain killers. Broken heart?

Yeah..... so when you see "It" trying to climb into your life. Identifiy "It" as an "It" and kill "It".


Got IT???

[skyblue]

DominicanScotty, Thanks for your post. you don't know how many times i've argued with my american male friends that live in DR about their dominican chicas. most guys feel that b/c they are male, they are expempt from this type of behavior - not true.

In my experience, the chicas do a lot more damage than the male sankies. Men dish out much more money and as long as the sex is good, they keep giving and giving. we don't hear about these stories b/c the men are too proud to talk about it, but it's out there.

as for cbello, you are one of the lucky ones, i'm sure your story will help others. thanks for sharing. good luck!