I can't believe I fell for it!

[drluver]

Originally Posted by lexi

I was reading all the posts about Dominican men and I have to tell you I really wish I hadn't. I really do like him but now have all these doubts in my head that he is just using me after hearing all these stories. I really did start to like him and when he called again tonight I didn't answer. I feel bad as I don't know whether to follow my heart and book another trip down right away there like I was planning to do or just write it off.

I am having a hard time with this as I have had a couple of long relationships here in Canada with Canadian men who have totally turned out to be losers. I agree that it is not only Dominican men who cheat as I have had first hand experience with it. That is one of the reasons I am now feeling really cautious as I don't want to have that happen again. I don't want to go through all that heartache again. But isn't the saying it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? .

Thanks for all the posts. They have made me feel better about it already. I was really feeling stupid for letting him get to me after reading about all those sankies! But like I said he hasn't asked me for anything yet so maybe I will just see what happens and go from there. And I really do want to go back there soon!! Thanks everyone!

Only you can make the decision. But please consider if this is a guy you would consider dating at home. It is easy to get caught up in the situation, and loose sight of the reality of these situations.

Are you in the habit of dating someone who makes so little money at home?
Are you in the habit of dating 'cooks' at home (not that there is anything wrong with it, but somepeople have rules at home)?
Are you in the habit of dating men who don't speak english at home?
Are you in the same category as him in the looks department? Could you get a similarly good looking guy at home?
Do you really think that he is not sleeping with other women when you aren't there? Are you ok with this?

Even assuming his intentions are honourable...

Are you prepared for the financial burden of a long distance relationship? Phone calls, trips down there, paying for everything, helping out when "goddaughter needs surgery"
Are you prepared to sponsor him to come to your country?
Are you prepared to put up with the cultural clashes and gender role desparity?
Are you prepared for the risk that it is all a lie?
Are you prepared to pay back the welfare for 3 years if he decides to pull a runner at the airport?
Are you prepared to help him find a minimum wage job in canada (or your home country), to take all your holidays for the rest of your life to DR?, to spend 1000's of dollars to help him immigrate?

Even with the best intentions these relationships aren't easy or cheap. If it is at all possible I would advise getting out now before the feelings run too deep. The longer you wait the greater the feelings are going to get. And it is doubtful that you will ever see anything during your one to two week holidays to visit him. It is easy to keep up a sham for a week or two. Especially when the whole family is in on the scheme.

Good luck

[drluver]

Also try googling his name. You may get some hits you may not.

Another good one is to search for his name and nicknames and dominican on webshots. You get some real gems.

I have done this in the past with a guy I was seeing and let me tell you some of the things I have seen.

Pictures posted after we were supposedly "together" from other tourists posing with him titled "me and my boyfriend........" or captions saying stuff like "this is ........... who pimped out with Jane".

Although the photos themselves weren't incriminating they were usually just posed shots, the captions sure gave away what was really happening.
I dont' believe that other tourists would be putting up those pictures unless there was something going on.

Don't believe as some people that "people are jealous" other people have nothing invested in these relationships.

Again good luck

[johne]

It occured to me this morning-and it's only a crazy idea-that perhaps people that post (OP) stories like this are simply people that ar trying out their writing skills (albeit muy mal). Think about it:
1) The very title suggesting she knows all about sankies But the tropical brezzes crossed over her head and she is just about to fall into his clutches. I submit to you--how can one be this naive?
2) The very sameness of all these posts and the available material available on DR1 for a woman to read-why would one write THE SAME OLD SAME OLD without (maybe) trying to write a "better" love romance/fantasy story?
3) A lot of idle time-nothing to do but write a little story to pass the time?
4) Living a fantasy-"You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen" Begins the minute she sits down for her first breakfast! Man, how lucky can you get? (Never happened to me and I'm so handsome I can break a mirror, or how does that expression go?)

My point is--How in the world that day after day these same old tales get repeated here like a chain letter? There must be an another answer.

john

[azuacanadagirl]

... if a guy tell you he loves you right away.... run

As for all the attention, let me tell you after muy so called novio left my hotel, I went out and met other resort workers to do a bit of testing. One guy I danced with just for the fun of it, asked him "do you want to come with me to Canada?" of course he answered... "only with you I would"... I had known him for the last five minutes.

Another one I was kind of friends with, showed me his wedding pictures to a girl from Portugal and all, that didn't stop him from dirty dancing with other tourists in the disco, he was sure having lots of fun.

Another one, DJ, told me he had a girlfriend in England, didn't stop him, I swear from kissing at least three other girls on the dance floor, outside the disco and asking me to go to the cabana with him, and to meet his family.
You see a lot more of what's going on when you are there for two weeks and keep your eyes opened.

I am in love with a Dominican resort worker and boy do I ever regret going for that second trip to see him. A lot of pain down the road. Would never again do this, never take or give my phone number.

[johne]

To me it's almost like "can you top this story?" She goes on and on about multi sankies in one night in her life. One leaves her hotel room and she goes to find some others all in the "interest of research."

I'm convinced these are stories of aspiring writers as nobody can be THAT d--b!

BTW--To all aspiring witers: Hold on to your day jobs until such time you meet a sankie that can support you. Yeh right.

[vickat20]

Keep in mind that the first phrases people learn to say in any language other than their own are curse words and "I love you". In any successful relationship, communication is key. Even if this guy isn't a sankie, do you really think you could forge a successful relationship with him considering the language barrier? I know that physical attraction can really cloud one's judgement, but if you can think realistically just for a moment, what possible good can come from this?

[paradise07]

That is a really good point that you bring up...is there even a word for "like" in Spanish....I do not know of one...Some things can get lost in translation and do not have the same meaning...like in French, there is no "I like you", it's je t'aime or nada !!!

[shadInToronto]

Originally Posted by lexi

...One night we went to "Mangu Disco" and we danced and kissed all night.

I guess I have been taken in?? Any advice?

You're a hard nut to crack ... patience, you'll give it up soon.

[johne]

Originally Posted by paradise07

That is a really good point that you bring up...is there even a word for "like" in Spanish....I do not know of one...Some things can get lost in translation and do not have the same meaning...like in French, there is no "I like you", it's je t'aime or nada !!!

Which sounds better- Te amo or me gusta?? Sounds like "I like the pasta you made" rather than "Come here my love and I will make a bed of roses for you". Well, in the DR- "Come here my love and let me lay on you matteress hiding all your money"

johnlolathisownhumor.

john

[marliejaneca]

Originally Posted by johne

To me it's almost like "can you top this story?" She goes on and on about multi sankies in one night in her life. One leaves her hotel room and she goes to find some others all in the "interest of research."

I'm convinced these are stories of aspiring writers as nobody can be THAT d--b!

BTW--To all aspiring witers: Hold on to your day jobs until such time you meet a sankie that can support you. Yeh right.

In all fairness, John, azuacanadagirl is legit. She has been through this before and she almost got taken again by the same guy. She is not trying to top this story, just trying to clear her head and remember everything she has learned from us so far!

Marlie ( LOL at your humour too!)