Sex Or Love?

[canadiangirl858]

[quote=laurapasinifan;486305]The way I am looking at this picture...is this website has a forum specifically for Sankie type threads...maybe they spun it out of the men from mars and women from venus forum, which normally would deal with sex and love and relationships.

so

doesnt it follow that if someone comes on here and spills their guts about what going on to them or what happened....NO one has a right to say"

OH NO NOT ANOTHER ONE

laurapasinifn...I agree with you 100%....people who have been used and lied to by "sankies" do not need someone telling them how "stupid" they've been. That somehow they deserved this type of treatment.

We know that we have been naive and "stupid" to fall for this. But most times when you realize it, then its too late. Sankies are such good con artists that you believe what they tell you. I still don't understand how someone could use and mistreat a person for their own personal gain. Especially someone that you thought cared for you and loved you.

I'm not talking about someone you met and the same day they tell you they love you and want to marry you. I'm talking about someone you have had a relationship with for a couple of years. Only to find out thay you were deceived by that person to get a visa.

I think some people get confused because they read that if the "sankie" asks for money & gifts, look out. But they have to realize that some sankies won't ask for money/gifts because their main purpose is the visa. And some of them will play the game for as long as it takes them to get out.

I just wish that more people would read what's posted, keep an open mind and lsiten to the more serious posts. Because they can be useful, but only if your prepared to listen. When people post negative responses then people close their minds and feel they need to defend their relationship...that's just human nature.

So OP, I think some women give money and gifts just for sex. But I think the majority just want to be loved and hope for a lasting realationship. We all want & need love and know that someone cares for you-human nature not "stupidity"

[laurapasinifan]

canadian girl...I was with you up until the end..

where you give me the impression that the need for long term love and affection is something that can be satisfied on vacation!!!

to me thats just the wrong way of thinking, and its what alot of people here have a short fuse with....

I cant think of anyone that would go on spring break thinking.."I hope to meet a new boyfirend in cancun!!!!"

getting "caught up" is one thing....but going looking for romance..doesnt seem bright to me....nor not many others who have read about so many women getting hurt.

bob

[2LeftFeet]

Oh yeah--- I forgot to put my last line-- after feeling so bad about what you've done the last thing you want to do is come to a forum where you think you're going to get support only to find out that-- you're going to get belittled and made fun of by a bunch of strangers! That's even more humiliating.

[juey]

Originally Posted by 2LeftFeet

Oh yeah--- I forgot to put my last line-- after feeling so bad about what you've done the last thing you want to do is come to a forum where you think you're going to get support only to find out that-- you're going to get belittled and made fun of by a bunch of strangers! That's even more humiliating.

Yes it ican be humiliating, and not all romances between foreign men/women and dominican men/women are exploited, also a sankie may fall in love for real, but don't you think that when people are giving you advice on this forum they are trying to help and pre-warn not belittle

[drluver]

Originally Posted by laurapasinifan

there are plenty of ways to tell someone , they have been made a fool of..

one another note...what is the time frame for someone to fall into this situation that labels them sanktified?

who makes it up also?

is it a one vacation fling...or if a person comes back 6 times....

It seems like we go over this part specifically time and time again!

A SANKIE IS NOT JUST DOMINICAN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FORIENGER. IT IS SPECIFICALLY ONE WHO 'FAKES' A RELATIONSHIP, WHO 'FAKES' LOVE IN ORDER TO MATIERAL ITEMS OR A VISA.

A sankie is not just someone you have a fling with. yes they may also be a Sankie, but if you don't give them any money or visa you can't really say you were sankified.

Originally Posted by laurapasinifan

the reason I ask is based on my relationship....I have what i think is a normal ( alebieth long distance) relationship with a dominican woman.. many of the things that have expired in my time with her, could easily have been labeld a form of being sanktified. But they werent, they were just things that happen in an emotional relationship. I saw many of the thing happens in my time seeing this woman that were totally being called "being played by a snakiette"...but I used my common sense, (just like a lot of other people say they do) to figure out what was going on....you could put the sanky label on half the things that happen between a lovingly MARRIED couple of 10 years. If my gf finds someone else, have I been a sanktified?

dont millions of couple break up when one finds someone else? and just because one person in the relationship paid for more stuff than the other....is one a victim?

I know people tried to tell me my GF had a dominican BF all the time when I first came here. And i was told if my Girl is from the barrios or campos and she is seeing me, it is for one thing. And even if it was true 100 times before me, doesnt make it true. maybe I have been lucky, every one THINKS they have it under control..I guess i was no exception. I have been dating my GF for more than 18 months now...I have bought some stuff, jewelry( because i love her) shoes same reason plus i want her to look as good as she can...it makes me look good. clothes same reason again...i have bought a few things for the house, bought animals, taken relatives on trips with us....and if tomorrow she dumps me....did she sanktify me?

absolutely not. I doubt this woman could ever be a contriving, manipulative sankie ever...but she certainly is capable of falling for someone else

Bob,
You and everyone before you who has been sankified BECAUSE they think it's under control. People think that because they know about the possibility that they wont be taken for a ride.

You say that you are not being sankified. But really you don't know. Nobody who is being sankified think they are being sankified until it's too late. You will never know if they are legit or not until you bring them to your country, or you find out some information to tell them otherwise. Sankies can sucessfully carry on these relationships for years without ever being found out. Simply because it is very easy to keep up a shenanigan over the phone and during a few trips a year. You can tell anyone anything over the phone.

I would also very strongly caution you to change your thinking about "I doubt this woman could ever be a contriving, manipulative sankie" That is exactly how people get into trouble. You cannot judge people from a different culture with north american standards. Some dominicans are desperate to leave (as in many other countries) and will do ANYTHING to get out. Thinking that she could never do something like that is dangerous. Culturally speaking it's not even really that looked down upon. I have heard comments such as "It was the North American's fault for being so stupid", Or that "we are so rich it doesn't matter". When the whole family is in on the scheme you don't stand a chance.

Did she sankify you? It's hard to say. But if you found out that everything had all been a lie, then yes she would have sankified you. Right now is she sankfying you? No one can tell for sure. But odds sure are damn good.

The reason no one wants to admit they have been used is because it rocks us to the core. Not just in the typical heartbreak kind of way. But if you have misjudged this person's intentions so greatly, how can you rely on yourself that other judgements you have made have also not been horribly mistaken. It shakes your inner values system. It changes your perception of yourself.

[mountainfrog]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Father, forgive me for i have been sankiefied...this is not a Catholic church...geesh !!

Well, but a thriving denomination....





m'frog

[AnnaC]

Originally Posted by drluver

A SANKIE IS NOT JUST DOMINICAN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FORIENGER. IT IS SPECIFICALLY ONE WHO 'FAKES' A RELATIONSHIP, WHO 'FAKES' LOVE IN ORDER TO MATIERAL ITEMS OR A VISA.

Thank you, I couldn't have put it better myself. Sankie=con

being sankified has nada to do with who spent more in a real relationship but the con of the game.

[laurapasinifan]

Originally Posted by drluver

Did she sankify you? It's hard to say. sankfying you? No one can tell for sure. But odds sure are damn good. .

ha ha ha bless your soul

you must know the saying.....

"I may not know the correct answer, but I can sure know a wrong answer when I see it"

so I can say that maybe it is possible for someone to scam me...but it isnt this woman thats for sure.

I wont debate anymore wether my woman is sanktifying me..

I posted to show that things happen in perfect relationships , that look just like things that happen to people being sankitfied.

I made 9 trips in 2006 to see my GF. and have made a total of 16 trips in a little over a year and a half. So please dont put me in the occasional vacationer bin. But I am fine with people thinking what they want about me and my relationship...as long as no one puts down my GF.

you know in any situation there are tons of people who think they know what they are talkign about, and just because as much as 99% are full of it , doesnt mean there are not a few WHO ACTUALLY walk the walk.

I may or may not be one, but there are people that will never be con-ed by a love scam artist. Even though i could come up with explanations to show beyond a doubt the relationship I have with my gf...I would never offer them.. they are personal and no ones buisness. No matter how many wolves come to the door!!!

eventually someone wins the lottery, eventually someone is the champ..it happens

some people get bitter , because it is never them.....

bob

[2LeftFeet]

Juey, I think some people on this forum do belittle people. I find some comments to be very caustic and I cringe when I read them. Some people need to show more compassion. You can get your point across with out being mean or hurtful

[azuacanadagirl]

Originally Posted by juey

Why do foreign women give 'sankies' money and gifts? Is if for pure sex or is it for the hope of love and a lasting relationship?

I think at first it is just physical attraction like it would be anywhere in the world. So, if you are not physically attractive and have this hunk hanging all over you... ask yourself some questions about his sincerity.

The hope of love and lasting relationship comes long after that first trip. If you are thinking of this after your first trip... then ask yourself some questions also?

You can find someone is good looking or could have enjoyed the sex a lot, but it is far away from love.

I KNOW the guy I met was a sankie. He made me think with time that he could change. That he was tired of his "way of life"... after all I would be. I would get bored with the game just as players do here and settle down with a good girl after a while of jumping from one to the other, not wanting to get attached and wanting to enjoy "the good things in life" which are WOMEN. I don't know of many good looking guys in their twenties here who haven't BEEN AROUND and tasted a lot of different flavours, but then they got tired of doing that. This one girl, special one, maked them quiet down.

The problem with sankies is that they make all girls think they are that SPECIAL ONE. Tu eres muy especial, heard that one quite a few times. But then you find out he's been telling someone else the same thing.

So, I think, it is not for sex or love, you don't even see it coming. When I met my FRIEND, I didn't want to have sex with him but he insisted and it was great. That's not why I ended up falling for him. He later admited, that when he insisted it was to create a bond, that if we hadn't DONE IT on that first trip, I would have forgotten about him.

I didn't know about sankies then.

By the way, I posted our pics on webshot.com. We look so happy together. But is it honest on his part, I guess I will never know.