Sex Or Love?

[canadiangirl858]

Originally Posted by laurapasinifan

canadian girl...I was with you up until the end..

where you give me the impression that the need for long term love and affection is something that can be satisfied on vacation!!!

to me thats just the wrong way of thinking, and its what alot of people here have a short fuse with....

I cant think of anyone that would go on spring break thinking.."I hope to meet a new boyfirend in cancun!!!!"

getting "caught up" is one thing....but going looking for romance..doesnt seem bright to me....nor not many others who have read about so many women getting hurt.

bob

I completely agree with you that you can't find love and a lasting relationship when you've just gone on vacation once and think you've met the man of your dreams. That's just insane. If women think they have met "the one" after one vacation well they need a reality check.

But when you've had a relationship with someone for a few years, visited very often and talked on the phone daily twice a day, is what I'm talking about. Someone you have gone through the whole immigration process with.
And thinking that you both want the same things. Only to find out once they get the visa they leave you and disappear. Some "sankies" play the game until they get what they want.

drluver-you are right, you don't know what their true motives are until they get to your country. And then its much too late.

[laurapasinifan]

Both of you girls are stuck in the stereotype....you , yourselves have the mentality that you credit to me....when you say I cant be sure, I can never know for sure.....the same applies backwards....you cant be sure that I dont have a perfect relationship. I am living it. Not that i needed it, but I have been on this site alone for a year and a half. reading about all the cons and the tricks. Dont think that I havent pulled STUPID tests on my gf, Because I second guessed my own best judgement, becuase of all the things i have read here. I actually caused alot of pain to her, that she didnt deserve.

I am not some love longing lost soul who is dying for SOMEONE to find me. I have lived a good many years, and as i tell my GF , you get lots of credit for each year you live..you get smarter, and wiser. no matter all else a 40 year old person has seen twice the life a 20 year old has.

I told you before i wont try to give examples of why I KNOW my relationship RIGHT NOW is unsanktified...and it will never be sanktified my this woman that I am seeing.

one glimpse of MY personal situation is this: my gf has no strong desire to come to america. she would just love it , if I moved there.

she asks for nothing but then asks for everything. if you are mature enough you would understand that statement.

some people just hate a winner.

Everything I come up with is to say that it is certainly possible that relationships break the preconcieved notions, and that i know mine has. But you just INSIST on saying no it isnt possible...

for what reason i have no clue..... because so many others have said they had a solid relationship, only to find they got sankitfied????? is that the total basis???

havent you read any posts about people that met and got married and have lived great lives since?....NONE??? you have a very selective search function then ,thats for sure.

BLITZ, I dont know what example I "DONT FIT" that you are talking about.

maybe I fit an example maybe I dont...I dont care if I am in A catergory or B catergory or X catergory..I live my life , my own way.

wheh i speak of my relationship, it is just as an example....becuase I have agreat relationship, I know others can and have them as well.....you are so bent on trying to prove that no one can have one...and you want PROOF.

ha ha ha ha proof is where you find it. maybe you will NEVER find it.

that doesnt worry those of us who have found it

have a great night

your mentor

bob

[suarezn]

IMO most everyone here is right one way or another. As some people have already mentioned you never know if you're being played until the end...this could go on for years and everyone could be in the game making you believe...

Now the one thing where I disagree with a lot of people is that they find it wrong that this Dominican guy/girl leaves their partner after they make it to The US, Canada or whatever other country. Is this person now supposed to stay in a relationship regardless of whether he/she really loves the person, just because the foreigner helped him/her get a visa? and what about the time the Dominican gave the other person? Isn't that worth something?

Let's take Bob's relationship (since you guys have already been discussing it) as an example and let's say he gets her a visa and she leaves him after coming to The US...IMO he should still be happy and remember all the good times he had with her while together...and IMO if it turns out that it wasn't really love then a visa would have been a small price to pay for all those good times. I mean how much does that cost and could you get the same amount of enjoyment with that same amount of money anywhere else?

I understand there's an emotional component to this and the cost is just one little piece of the whole picture. People get more pi$$ed off because they wanted to "force" this guy/girl to like them and stay with them forever regardless...

I don't have the smallest problem with Sankies. IMO both parties get something out of these relationships and I believe the foreigner usually gets more out of it (i.e. the best sex they've ever had in their lives, the feeling that they are "good looking and loved", etc)...How much is that worth? I think a lot more than a few hundred dollars sent through WU...

[drluver]

Originally Posted by suarezn

IMO most everyone here is right one way or another. As some people have already mentioned you never know if you're being played until the end...this could go on for years and everyone could be in the game making you believe...

Now the one thing where I disagree with a lot of people is that they find it wrong that this Dominican guy/girl leaves their partner after they make it to The US, Canada or whatever other country. Is this person now supposed to stay in a relationship regardless of whether he/she really loves the person, just because the foreigner helped him/her get a visa? and what about the time the Dominican gave the other person? Isn't that worth something?

Let's take Bob's relationship (since you guys have already been discussing it) as an example and let's say he gets her a visa and she leaves him after coming to The US...IMO he should still be happy and remember all the good times he had with her while together...and IMO if it turns out that it wasn't really love then a visa would have been a small price to pay for all those good times. I mean how much does that cost and could you get the same amount of enjoyment with that same amount of money anywhere else?

I understand there's an emotional component to this and the cost is just one little piece of the whole picture. People get more pi$$ed off because they wanted to "force" this guy/girl to like them and stay with them forever regardless...

I don't have the smallest problem with Sankies. IMO both parties get something out of these relationships and I believe the foreigner usually gets more out of it (i.e. the best sex they've ever had in their lives, the feeling that they are "good looking and loved", etc)...How much is that worth? I think a lot more than a few hundred dollars sent through WU...

If you think that it is simply money and a little heart ache that happen to people then you are a sick individual.

There can be serious pyschological damage to people. Years of self doubt, blaming themselves, kicking themselves for not picking up of the clues, and an inability to trust people.

Also to imply that these people are asking for it, or that they should be grateful to have had such good sex and to have been loved. Well this would imply that all the people who this happens to are ugly fat middle aged people. And that is simply not the case.

I definately don't think that people should have to stay married to people if they are truly unhappy. However if they were lying on their immigration papers when they declare that they are immigrating soley to be with their marriage partner and that the marriage is legit. Then that is fraud and certainly they should be deported.

[drluver]

Originally Posted by laurapasinifan

Both of you girls are stuck in the stereotype....you , yourselves have the mentality that you credit to me....when you say I cant be sure, I can never know for sure.....the same applies backwards....you cant be sure that I dont have a perfect relationship. I am living it. Not that i needed it, but I have been on this site alone for a year and a half. reading about all the cons and the tricks. Dont think that I havent pulled STUPID tests on my gf, Because I second guessed my own best judgement, becuase of all the things i have read here. I actually caused alot of pain to her, that she didnt deserve.

I am not some love longing lost soul who is dying for SOMEONE to find me. I have lived a good many years, and as i tell my GF , you get lots of credit for each year you live..you get smarter, and wiser. no matter all else a 40 year old person has seen twice the life a 20 year old has.

I told you before i wont try to give examples of why I KNOW my relationship RIGHT NOW is unsanktified...and it will never be sanktified my this woman that I am seeing.

one glimpse of MY personal situation is this: my gf has no strong desire to come to america. she would just love it , if I moved there.

she asks for nothing but then asks for everything. if you are mature enough you would understand that statement.

some people just hate a winner.

Everything I come up with is to say that it is certainly possible that relationships break the preconcieved notions, and that i know mine has. But you just INSIST on saying no it isnt possible...

for what reason i have no clue..... because so many others have said they had a solid relationship, only to find they got sankitfied????? is that the total basis???

havent you read any posts about people that met and got married and have lived great lives since?....NONE??? you have a very selective search function then ,thats for sure.

BLITZ, I dont know what example I "DONT FIT" that you are talking about.

maybe I fit an example maybe I dont...I dont care if I am in A catergory or B catergory or X catergory..I live my life , my own way.

wheh i speak of my relationship, it is just as an example....becuase I have agreat relationship, I know others can and have them as well.....you are so bent on trying to prove that no one can have one...and you want PROOF.

ha ha ha ha proof is where you find it. maybe you will NEVER find it.

that doesnt worry those of us who have found it

have a great night

your mentor

bob

Listen Bob. There is no need to be condescending, and i don't need a mentor.

As I said before I am not discussing the merrits of your relationship because it really doesn't matter to me if it works out for you or not. I am discussing these relationships in general. I was using you as an example as you posted how secure you are in the legitimacy of her intentions.

You keep asserting that you KNOW. But again it's saying you know something to which the result is not known. You can't know who wins the race before the gun is fired.

[suarezn]

Originally Posted by drluver

If you think that it is simply money and a little heart ache that happen to people then you are a sick individual.

There can be serious pyschological damage to people. Years of self doubt, blaming themselves, kicking themselves for not picking up of the clues, and an inability to trust people.

Also to imply that these people are asking for it, or that they should be grateful to have had such good sex and to have been loved. Well this would imply that all the people who this happens to are ugly fat middle aged people. And that is simply not the case.

I definately don't think that people should have to stay married to people if they are truly unhappy. However if they were lying on their immigration papers when they declare that they are immigrating soley to be with their marriage partner and that the marriage is legit. Then that is fraud and certainly they should be deported.

Of course this is where we disagree...but of course because I disagree with you now I'm a "sick individual". What is it with some people who feel that if you don't follow the "party line" then you must be wrong or a sick person...

Is it anyone's fault that some of these people don't know how to deal with the fact that his/her partner doesn't love them?

So what in your opinion should the "sankie" do when presented with the opportunity of getting money and/or a visa? Say no I don't really love you...what a joke!!!

Again IMO if that "sankie" stays with that person for the required period (two + years), having to fake love and that they are enjoying this "relationship" that is worth several visas and a ton of money. The one sankified just needs to learn to move on with their lives and this is what a lot of these women don't want to do...

Why not go back to The DR and get yourself another young guy who tells you how beautiful you are....rinse and repeat...

[drluver]

Originally Posted by suarezn

Of course this is where we disagree...but of course because I disagree with you now I'm a "sick individual". What is it with some people who feel that if you don't follow the "party line" then you must be wrong or a sick person...

Is it anyone's fault that some of these people don't know how to deal with the fact that his/her partner doesn't love them?

So what in your opinion should the "sankie" do when presented with the opportunity of getting money and/or a visa? Say no I don't really love you...what a joke!!!

Again IMO if that "sankie" stays with that person for the required period (two + years), having to fake love and that they are enjoying this "relationship" that is worth several visas and a ton of money. The one sankified just needs to learn to move on with their lives and this is what a lot of these women don't want to do...

Why not go back to The DR and get yourself another young guy who tells you how beautiful you are....rinse and repeat...

You are not a "sick person" BECAUSE you disagree with me. You are a sick person becuase you think that exploiting someone and using someone for material gains is OK. I think murderers are "sick" individuals too. If you think murder is ok I don't think you are sick becuase you disagree, but because of your beliefs about murder.

It's not about the fact that the partner doesn't love them. This is where you seem to be missing my point. If they don't love them then they shouldn't be with them.

What do I think that Sankies should do when presented with the opportunity? Well if they weren't lying about being in love and wanting to spend their lives with this tourists there would be NO opportunity.

There are many people (including domincans) that do not USE people to get STUFF. If someone offered me a million dollars to con some little old lady I wouldn't do it. Just as there are tons of Dominicans that do not USE people.

[AnnaC]

I don't think opportunities are presented to sankies on a silver platter but rather a sankie works very hard to make his/hers own opportunity.

This is the part that most people have a hard time with. It's not just about a little money here and there and yes they had fun but it's being conned that leaves huge scars.

And yes in an interview when they are trying to convince immigration that it's a real relationship that is fraud pure and simple.

[mountainfrog]

Originally Posted by drluver

...There are many people (including domincans) that do not USE people to get STUFF. If someone offered me a million dollars to con some little old lady I wouldn't do it. Just as there are tons of Dominicans that do not USE people.

It occurs to me that you are not Dominican...

m'frog