Sankie didn't succeed

[World.traveller]

I am a Russian living in Austria. Some years ago I won a travel to Dominican republic for 2 all-inclusive and in 2005 my husband and I travelled there.
Though first week I was alone there as at the last moment my husband had to travel to France because of work.
The next 2 weeks we spent there together, so I was 3 weeks there, he - 2. The first week I was alone in Dominican republic.
On the day I arrived alone to that 5 star all-inclusive resort in Punta Cana, the local who was carrying my luggage to my room immediately proposed for us to go out dancing, I was shocked and said "no", it didn't matter for him that I was married.
In the evening I went to the restaurant to have my meal. And then it all began. I ordered my meal and was waiting for it,
but together with my meal I received a love letter from some waiter written on the napckin, as I was shocked, I just
finished my meal and went away feeling quite confused. Next day I told about it some American couple I met at the pool, we laughed together and they said that
yes, it was a problem there, they had acquintances who had vacation there with a young 15-year old daughter and as she was blond
all local men (mostly they are black or of mixed race) were after her and she was very unhappy about it.
Next evening I chose another restaurant, to my astonishment another waiter seeing I was having my meal alone immediately proposed
his company and without my permit sat on the chair at my table. I was just so shocked at the impudence of the guy that I stayed with my eyes and mouth wide open, I explained I was married though I didn't wear a wedding ring as because of fear of being
robbed or to lose it I just left all jewelry in Austria. So he understood and never bothered me again, this was an exception. Some days later not really thinking of what happened I went to
the first restaurant I was before and ordered my meal. Then again the first waiter came up and said:
"Hello, and so...???" As I don't see well and usually don't wear my glasses and don't put much effort to remember people's faces
when I don't really need it, I didn't recognise him and said: "Who are you and what is it that you want?"
Then he brought another love letter. I explained I was married, but he didn't want to believe it and immediately said "te amo".
It happened so that as my husband likes to sleep longer in the morning we seldom had breakfast or supper together.
So every time during all these 3 weeks I spent there and went to have my breakfast or supper, this waiter came up with a love letter.
I found it quite funny. I tried to explain it that he should forget this idea, but it was useless!
In addition to being married I tried to explain him that I was not rich, that I won this travel and he should find some
other "victim", he didn't want to believe it.
Now looking back I think I should have went to manager and made him fire this guy, I wouldn't feel sorry for that, but at that time I thought different, I felt pity for him seeing how little they earn there and didn't want to be guilty for him losing his job. At that time I decided not to bother
myself with any explanations anymore, I have thick skin and won't allow any waiter to make me not to go to the restaurant if I like the food there,
so the letters continued coming with "te amo" and I continued visiting the restaurant till one day when we were having there a dinner together with my husband he put too much pepper into a soup of my husband on purpose, this is when my tolerance came to an end. Also this waiter was telling that he was studying marketing, I don't believe it as his English was so bad that he could hardly understand me and he was working all day long, so there was no time for study. Also seeing that it won't work with me he started trying to rise the feeling of guiltiness in me. At the end of my stay this waiter made me believe that now he wanted to be just friends/penpals to get my email adress and telephone number, so I gave it to him as I had lots of penpals from around the world before and was curious to find out about other cultures and about how people live, I told him that anything more than just penpals is not possible and that he should search some other girl for himself. I never showed interest in him and never wanted anything from him, friendship was all I could propose after he was so insistant. Then he didn't even put an effort to write me emails in English, I don't speak Spanish, but he sent me letters in Spanish and I had to use electronic dictionary to translate them, he never wrote about his country, his life, culture, never put an effort to try to discuss with me some intelectual theme as I guess he had no brains for it. All he wrote was again the same: "te amo". So I put him into a black list not to receive emails anymore as long as he didn't agree to friendship that I proposed. We made each other a few phone calls from which I understood that with this person I have nothing to talk about, before I didn't really have an opportunity to talk to him. As I understood he was living with his parents in slams, had a motorcycle and I heard a woman voice in the background and children's voices. He said it was his sister. Now I believe it could have been his wife or girlfriend with kids. He was 24. I was 31. As I got 17 phone calls from him on my mobile phone, I just changed it's number. I was bombarded with emails demanding me to visit him at my own cost untill I blocked his email adress. At that time I was visiting my parents in Russia for a month and he called there as well. During the first call there he called and said he wanted to visit me in Russia, I asked how he imagined it, he immediately answered that I should buy him a ticket, I said I was unemployed, then he said: "No you can, you are rich..." That was it, he couldn't believe I was not rich. Then he called again and asked to call back. I didn't. Then he called again accusing me that I don't want to call and he is spending his last 5 dollars on the call. As I have understood he was borrowing mobile phones from tourists to make phone calls.

While I was continueing living in Austria and had no contact to him (his emails blocked, my mobile number changed), one and a half year later he still continued calling and bothering my parents constantly. The most unpleasant thing is that then my parents asked who it was thinking I was in a relationship and it was the most unpleasant to explain them how it really was.
That it was some kind of stalker.

Then when we talked on phone before he was telling that he had a brother in Spain, may be it was the way he was trying to get there...

[jruane44]

You live and learn. I hope you taught some people on this site a lesson. Never give your phone number to low class uneducated people. This guy gives stalking a bad name.

[Daddy_Dom]

Wow, I didn't knew dominicans guys could do it, he look like a crazy stalking, the next time, have fun but don't give numbers or emails...

his behavior is shamefull for me like dominican, people could think Dominicans are all the same with diferent faces, but no... he is so, is his kind of mind... well I also learn about this story...

DD.

[lexi]

I am not sure I understand you correctly? Your husband ends up joining you on holiday and you still go to eat on your own even though you have been harassed all week going by yourself to this particular restaurant yet you continue to keep going back even though he annoys you? Then you give him your e-mail and phone number? I am sure you called and e-mailed as well? Where is your husband in all this? Could he have not answered your phone and told him to leave you alone if you didn't want all this attention?

After he has just gave you love letters and told you how much he loves you for the past 3 weeks you thought he would just be calling you as a friend?

I just came back from holiday and met someone down there that I did give my number to also but I am not married and wouldn't give my number to a guy who has been telling me he loves me all week when my husband is sleeping in a hotel room close by.

I can't believe in the short time I have been reading these threads that I am now writing a response like the ones all of you gave me at first. Wow, how time changes things.

[AnnaC]

Moral of this story is, never give out personal or your PARENT'S info to an annoying persistente person.

The mark left by cheap sankie words is unbelievable.

[mountainfrog]

Originally Posted by World.traveller

... immediately proposed for us to go out dancing... I received a love letter from some waiter written on the napckin, as I was shocked.... immediately proposed his company and without my permit sat on the chair at my table.... and immediately said "te amo".... this waiter came up with a love letter.... he didn't want to believe it....so the letters continued coming with "te amo" .... he put too much pepper into a soup of my husband on purpose... he started trying to rise the feeling of guiltiness in me....
At the end of my stay.... now he wanted to be just friends/penpals to get my email adress and telephone number, so I gave it to him as I had lots of penpals from around the world before and was curious to find out about other cultures and about how people live.... All he wrote was again the same: "te amo"..... I was bombarded with emails demanding me to visit him at my own cost.... he immediately answered that I should buy him a ticket.... "No you can, you are rich..." That was it, he couldn't believe I was not rich.
Then he called again and asked to call back. I didn't. Then he called again accusing me that I don't want to call and he is spending his last 5 dollars on the call.....


... I felt pity for him seeing how little they earn there and didn't want to be guilty for him losing his job...

Please excuse me for breaking down your report, but I think the above sentences are quite typical for these guys and shows that...

- someone who is interested in people and their culture is easily exploited by sankies;

- people who are insecure and/or unexperienced in dealing with other races are prime targets for sankies;

- sankies have nothing to lose and much to gain from foreigners and thus use any method (as dishonest and unpolite it may be) to reach their goal;

- have been conditioned to this behaviour by foregoing easy 'kills';

- that sankies work in a favourable environment in which growing numbers of female tourists come for sex with local men (30% on their first visit; 26 % come back more often for more);

- sankiism has become a phenomenon in DR tourism and an accepted way of generating Dominican income;

BTW, welcome to the board.

mountainfrog

[Audra]

Originally Posted by lexi

I I can't believe in the short time I have been reading these threads that I am now writing a response like the ones all of you gave me at first. Wow, how time changes things.

Oh...... I want to be the first to say we told you so!!

[mountainfrog]

Originally Posted by audrav

Oh...... I want to be the first to say we told you so!!

Unjustified.
Her case is different.

m'frog

[lexi]

m'frog - ha ha ha! The difference is I am not married and wouldn't do that to my husband. Fun is fun and as a single woman I am all for women having fun anywhere in the world. Men do it all the time so why not women right? With the exception of being married and then not wanting the attention you asked for. Am I right?

[lexi]

Originally Posted by audrav

Oh...... I want to be the first to say we told you so!!

No problem audrav.

I am still going back in the next month or so though..........