didn't know...

lbeat123 · #1 12-02-2007, 09:19 PM

Hi all-

I just came back from vacation at an AI in Punta Cana. Had a great time… I was there with a few friends, some couples and some singles. This was my first vacation in DR and my first ever in an AI. I did not know about the sankie phenomenon until I started reading the posts a few days ago, and was shocked to find out that this is what really goes down. I started thinking back and remembering some of the situations that occurred w/me and my other female friends who were there and it all started making sense.

Many of the guys in the hotel staff (especially the animation staff) were very flirtatious and upfront with their advances. As back home I live in an area with a prominent Hispanic population, and having dated several Hispanic guys in the past, I was used to the overly flirtatious and passionate nature and was not surprised at their behavior. During the day, the animation guys were very friendly, entertaining and fun to be around. Just as I have read in the posts here, their more serious advances began at the night clubs (to which they were inviting us every day.) On one of the nights, after dancing and hanging out with one of the animation guys, he proceeded to make his move. He started showering me with complements and asked me to come outside and talk to him for a few minutes. He told me how much he liked me and tried to kiss me, however I was not interested and basically told him that I wanted to just dance. At that point his friend came outside the club and told him that they were leaving, so the guy said good bye to me and left. What struck me the most is that the following day (our last full day at the resort) the guy ignored me every time we ran into each other. I thought the behavior was somewhat strange and childish and was kind of disappointed because I thought he was a cool guy to hang out with and just because I turned him down didn’t mean he had to act that way.

In any case, thanks for the info that you guys have posted on here.. it was an eye-opener and really helpful in understanding this whole phenomenon. After reading it, I am really glad that I did not get involved with any sankies while there and ended up having an awesome time. It is still somewhat hard to believe that this stuff actually goes on, as these guys put on 2 different faces – one of the funny and friendly entertainer during the day, and the other of the passionate yet deceiving Casanova at night.

Overall the vacation was great and I will definitely go back when I get the next opportunity. I already miss the gorgeous sea, warm weather, palm trees, and the “no problem” attitude of the locals.

Saludos!

Berzin · #2 12-02-2007, 10:01 PM

Great post. And you hit the nail right on the head when you realized that he ignored you the day after making his move.

Just so you know this is not the prevailing attitude of all dominicans, but as tourists on vacation we seem to be a magnet for these characters, especially in the AI resorts.

I remember spending quite an evening with a lady and we had what I would call a very interesting and stimulating conversation.

While in the disco she asked me for money to take a moto home and I told her I didn't have any. She screeched in disapproval and waved me off.

The next day it was the same as what happened to you. She walked by me as if she didn't know me. I found it funny and sad at the same time that these people are so dismissive of tourists they can't get over on. What a pathetic way to live ones' life.

2LeftFeet · #3 12-02-2007, 10:59 PM

I agree Berzin.... it is sad..

lBeat that's great that you didn't fall victim to one of these slugs!

Welcome to the forum.

blitz · #4 12-08-2007, 06:11 PM

I experienced a very similar situation, with a bit of a funny twist. I also naively became friends with a member of the animation team on my first trip to Punta Cana. He was funny, not remotely pushy and very kind during the days.

Then one night, he asked me to leave the resort with him to go to a "real" disco. It was clear to me the disco was not his real interest. Especially when he specifically said he didn't want my friends with me. After I told him I wasn't interested in doing that, he stormed off down to the hotels disco. When I saw him later, he acted as if he didn't know me.

That's also when the light went on for me..

BUT, the twist in the story is this. Several months later, different hotel chain, different city (Puerto Plata this time) and I notice a member of animation walking along, staring at me. I thought not much of it, then did a double-take. It was the same guy, and this time he acted as if we were best friends!

It was rather funny because initially I was naive, this time I was there with eyes wide open. He tried his games with me again, and with many other girls. It was like watching a soap opera.

Anyways, glad that you learned the lesson the same way I did.. without having to regret anything

Thegirlnextdoor · #5 12-09-2007, 04:42 AM

Im really glad you guys were smart enough not to fall for the scams these guys pulled, I however was not, my ex first approached me when I was vacationing with my mum, so not only was I naive to the whole sankie phenoneom, I was stupid enough to think he must really like me, coz we were at a total party hotel and there were tons of groups of pretty students. Who would have been much easier targets. On top of that, I had not long broken up with a guy, so I was emotional and happy to have someone be nice to me again.
I wasnt comletely drawn in, at that point though, Im not the type of girl who is just gonna sleep with a stranger, no matter how many lines they use. So I refused to leave resort with him and I refused to have sex with him that first trip. Anyways to make a very long story short I was with him for 13months, before I started seeing his true colours, a few months ago.
But Im not bitter, the way I see it, without him I never would have returned to the DR, I never would have stepped out of resort, I never would have seen different parts of the Island, I never would have experienced Dominican living, and most importantly I never would have met the many lovely people I did out there, many of whom are still really good friends. Plus I did get some nice gifts outta him too, which is always good :-) And I would totally hang out and be friends with him in the future, I would just never get back with him.

The worst thing is, I now watch girls falling for the same thing, and you cant say anything once they have met someone, coz they wont listen, they'll believe their guy is "different" of course they will, but everyone has to make their own mistakes.
However saying that, I wish I had known about this site before I had first gone out there, because had I read posts like the previous ones, I never would have given him the time of day in the first place.

Btw MountainFrog you were right, If Im wrong, I say Im wrong, and you told me from the start.

jrf · #6 12-09-2007, 06:23 AM

I have to admit that you have a great attitude about what had happened.
It isn't really about the loss of money or gifts given to someone who really didn't care but about the heart.

I am glad that you can see the real DR and enjoy it. There is so much better out there to experience.

Frog17112 · #7 12-09-2007, 08:55 AM

I agree...I saw how the game was played during my first trip to the DR. Both their men and women play the same game as is well detailed in this forum. Some of the friends that I meet while there were not aware. This girl from England kept sending money and trying to find ways to get "her Dominican" off the island, she was totally in love. Wish I could've directed her to this forum so she could read up on the game.

What was really funny was when my brother got a letter in the mail from his "Dominican girlfriend" about a month after our visit asking for $2000 to help pay for her mother's surgery. He was considering sending the money...I laughed so hard that I got stomach cramps...

suarezn · #8 12-09-2007, 12:22 PM

OKI...we all know about the Sankie stuff. Discussed ad nauseam here...but why are you guys surprised that the guys acted like they didn't know you after you rejected them. If you're after a girl and she rejects you are you going to be trying to talk to her and be shot down in front of others? You guys definitely don't know the Dominican psyche...

Berzin · #9 12-09-2007, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suarezn

OKI...we all know about the Sankie stuff. Discussed ad nauseam here...but why are you guys surprised that the guys acted like they didn't know you after you rejected them. If you're after a girl and she rejects you are you going to be trying to talk to her and be shot down in front of others? You guys definitely don't know the Dominican psyche...

This is more due to the NA womens' psyche. They think that they can reject guys and play games with them and the guy will think "hey, shes' just playing hard to get" just like they do back home. The guy gets turned on by this and keeps persisting and the girl gets a head rush from all of the attention.

But in the DR, where they are rightfully treated as if they are a dime a dozen, it gets them upset that the dominican just moves on to another girl. It makes them upset that their games don't work with these dominicans.

Getting a girl to fall in love with you in an AI is easy. They act like fools in a country where they should exercise restraint, and they play games back home where they should just be more honest and forthcoming.

There is no hope whatsoever.

Janin · #10 12-09-2007, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berzin

...There is no hope whatsoever.

...and as we talk, there's another one typing: "Does anybody know...?"

Janin