Cultural Differences!

[sjh]

All men pay for sex. The only difference is the number of vendors and the price

It isnt always about ego, sometimes it is just the simple urge to mate/procreate. So much of what we all do is based deep down on biological urges that are hardwired into us.

[Sholly24]

Originally Posted by Alyonka

...........But what I noticed about those successful men - they don't want poor needy girls either. They are the ones who want a successful woman with career, cash and education. Because to be with someone like that is REALLY good for their ego. They hate paying for sex. All men do. They want to be loved for who they are just the same way anyone else does.

I am not sure whether you read that in a book or based on your observation but either way you couldn't be more wrong.

Look, almost men are visual people and emotions are based on what we see. Why is it that a man will see a womans 'assets' and he is instantly ready?. For the majority of men, sex is the same as love. It is as simple as that. A career woman with too much cash and education is usually a problem for most men. Go and ask the ones that are married to these type of women and listen to them complain. They hate paying for sex?. You must be a joker!. The only men that hate paying for sex are men that do not have the money otherwise you pay one way or the other. So when you go out with a man, do you pick up the tab ?.

Most men do not need love. We just need the woman to take a nice position when needed and all will be well. If my GF told me she loves me, I would start to develop a headache. I don't need her to love me. All she needs is to follow ' instructions' and all will be well. To follow ' instructions' is to love. She is also free to go whenever she likes. I will get another one.

The problem with most women is that they daydream too much instead of them to face reality. That is why they keep falling in love with these AI bartendars and animation team members. Men are realists.

Where did you read all these from?. You really have no clue about what some of these successful men have hidden in the closets.

Sholly

[Alyonka]

I mostly listen to my friends and people I meet. Everyone is so different. People on this forum are mostly the ones who just assimilated in a third world environment, they were not born in it. They are proud of what they have achieved by adjusting and assimiliating their western psychology to the developing country. Westernes who come to the country where I used to live also start writing books about their experience. This is good. I was born in a third world country and grew up there. It was very difficult for me to get adjusted to the "rules" of the US at first. That is what is different between me and expats who post here.

And, yes, some men do care if a woman loves them or not. They actually want affection, attraction and emotion once in a while, not just sex. Dominican men I know - do, otherwise I would not be talking to them. I don't like shallow people.

[sjh]

Men do want to be loved too, but our needs and how they are met are very different than that of women.

Women are often looking for some sense of security in a relationship, Especially a woman looking to raise a family. Because a woman can only "use" one man at a time to have a family there is no desire need to have multiple partners.

I think men are looking for a partner who will take care of them, make a home and be a companion physically to them. One successful man can easily fulfil the physical needs of 20+ women if he is willing to put up with that kind of headache and $$ commitment.

The whole concept of male monogamy (monotony?) is a very new idea. It is mostly a European concept and has only been practiced for a few hundred years. Even then it is only true on the surface. The vast majority of the world practices polygamy.

Forcing men into a mold that we dont fit into has resulted in a divorce rate so high as to make a complete mockery of marriage.

[MaineGirl]

Cold hard fact of living here. The equation is so different than US. I actually don't mind the way it works because it is much easier to operate when you know how things work.

Now consider my case, I am an educated woman who is young and I have no kids, and still am reasonably attractive. I live in a small Dominican town for about a month now.

Two marriage proposals by kids who are 20 and drive pasolas.

Several married Dominicans giving me the eye and "want to play" chatter.

One annoying conchista who follows me around telling me how hot I am, looking me up and down. I have yet to shake him but the response to allll so far has been: Causa perdida!!!

It's not a lost cause because I am not interested in men, it is just too hard for my American-wired brain to change in a month. And let me tell you there are no educated single 30 year olds in this town. Well, yes there are. There are two and I suspect they are gay, at least they act very gay and walk around town with older women laughing and giggling. And I have no problem with gays it is just to prove that men here hook up young and keep looking later.

The US model does not exist: nice guy meets nice girl and settle down for "relationship". It just isn't like that in my observation of my new town so far. I have met lots of nice men my age but they have 20 year old wives and babies. American me says, no thanks.

Thank goodness I am not here for a relationship--but work! It gives me something to focus on.

[DAKRA]

Very interesting thread....

[planner]

Having been here for almost 4 years, single and dating - I can tell you Alyonka that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. NONE - zero.....

SJH however calls it pretty much like it is.

There are very very few men even remotely close to my age who are single, divorced or widowed. There are many many men who approach me regularly, across the age range, almost all in relationships or married who are looking to add me to their personal list. I live in a tourist area so I also get every "younger" guy hitting on me - he is looking for someone to support him, get him out of here and to have "whiter" babies with.

The reality of finding a self supporting, unmarried successful man NOT put off by a self secure female - not great! Takes time to get to know them and find out who they are. And most of the time it is by introduction by mutual friends.

Contrary to what Alyonka says - succesful men LOVE to have a young hottie on their arm. Do you think for one heartbeat that they have these girls because they are successful and smart or well spoken? NOT. They are bought and paid for. And the girls know it and accept it. I am not judging it. If it works for all parties involved fine - just isn't for me. I don't care what they do. And I don't sit in judgement of it. It has been going on here and elsewhere for eons.

[Alyonka]

Why do you people think that someone who is young and hot cannot also be smart and well spoken? Do these two have to contradict each other? The girls I met (some of them Dominican actually) who were with or married a successful man had at least a college degree. They did not have to work for living, but they could behave and talk properly with the man, his friends and his family. He would not introduce some dummy to any of his freinds that is for sure.

[planner]

I didn't say they were not smart! Read the post darlin.... They in fact might be but that is NOT the attribute for which they are chosen.......

And many of these men do have "dummies" as you refer to them. They act polite in public but can't put an intelligent conversation together if they had to. But these men are not interested in talking.....LOL

Again please note I said - many - not all. There are of course exceptions. But then you would have to actually spend time here to know this, now wouldn't you.

[sjh]

Some men like dumb women, some like smart women. They all like attractive women. Very few men walk around with a smart ugly women and brag about it to everyone.
A man with a dumb beautiful woman will say "look at my beautiful woman".

A man with a smart beautiful woman will say "look at my beautiful woman, and she is smart too"