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12-16-2004, 06:49 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,367
(10)
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My two cents...
If my fiance was calling other men "papi" or "mi amor" I would not be happy about it. I don't care if it is acceptable to some people, as far as I am concerned it is a respect thing. I would not call other woman "babe" in her presence out of respect for her. It goes both ways. If I told her not to call other men "papi" and she continued to anyway, I would dump her. Her continuing to call other men "papi" would be a blatent display of disrespect and the tip of the iceberg.
Larry
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12-16-2004, 06:54 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 10,014
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by bdj
She doesn't like to be spanked when we have sex.....and I love doing that, but she doesn't like it....I don't see that as change, but compromise, if she really doesn't like it.....
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Excuse my language but what the f....does this have to do with it?  not exactly what I meant by " don't play games."
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12-16-2004, 06:57 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 545
(27)
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Compromise!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by bdj
She said she didn't want to change who she was for anyone. I thought of this as more like compromise. She doesn't like to be spanked when we have sex.....and I love doing that, but she doesn't like it....I don't see that as change, but compromise, if she really doesn't like it.
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OK, how’s about every time she calls someone “papi” or “mi amor” inappropriately, you get to spank her during sex? Maybe then her behavior in this regard would not bother you so much. In fact, you might begin to encourage it. 
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12-16-2004, 06:58 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 958
(10)
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I do agree with Larry on this. If it clearly makes you feel uncomfortable she should be willing to understand this. If she respects you she will do it to please you. Papi can also be a cover up for not knowning a person's name. It's a slick way of avoiding a faux pas.
D
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Larry
My two cents...
If my fiance was calling other men "papi" or "mi amor" I would not be happy about it. I don't care if it is acceptable to some people, as far as I am concerned it is a respect thing. I would not call other woman "babe" in her presence out of respect for her. It goes both ways. If I told her not to call other men "papi" and she continued to anyway, I would dump her. Her continuing to call other men "papi" would be a blatent display of disrespect and the tip of the iceberg.
Larry
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12-16-2004, 07:24 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 2,442
(10)
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Making a mountain out of a mole-hill
The old addage "You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl" applies here. I never really understood this completely until I took my Dominican wife to the USA for a year. You yourself have used the magic word "culture" in your posts. This is part of their culture and you wanting to change that is not a good idea unless you were to address it as you having an idea as to a better way for her to communicate to other people to help her better her acceptance rather then because it bothers you. A number of members have told you that the word "papi" by itself has no true sentimental meaning and therefore you should in fact forget it. As you are an American I am 100% certain that there are times during normal conversation that you have used the word or words Hun, Sweet, Sweetheart, Dear, Sugar, Darling, Honey, Young thing or something of that nature and when you used these words it was not done out of disrespect or because you were making a pass at the female but as a sign of sincerity or because us ewere useing it to help you in your desire to get better service etc. When you used these words your mind didn't stop in mid-stream and say use a slang word to help in the conversation it just came out as that is what you have learned in life. Please don't fight with her over a stupid word that has no meaning to her just to you. At the same time I must ask if she has tried to change the way you say or do things "culture" because it upsets her? I don't think so. Instead of mentioning things that YOU don't like how about trying to teach a better way for HER benefit. 
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12-16-2004, 07:44 PM
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Silver
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 464
(34)
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does she call you PAPI?
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12-16-2004, 08:35 PM
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Silver
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 139
(10)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Larry
My two cents...
If my fiance was calling other men "papi" or "mi amor" I would not be happy about it. I don't care if it is acceptable to some people, as far as I am concerned it is a respect thing. I would not call other woman "babe" in her presence out of respect for her. It goes both ways. If I told her not to call other men "papi" and she continued to anyway, I would dump her. Her continuing to call other men "papi" would be a blatent display of disrespect and the tip of the iceberg.
Larry
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Thats where it gets difficult. Calling someone dear as in: "Would you pass me the salt dear" to a waitress in a restaurant or or as i stated in my first post in this thread is way different than saying: "Hey babe pass me the salt"
This is were our relaxed and mellow tropical manner gets difficult for other cultures. Its not a matter of how educated you are or not its a matter of culture. As for you Larry try saying that in front of your "mami" and see if you still have one when the last words of the sentence rolls of the tough 
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12-16-2004, 08:36 PM
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Silver
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 101
(10)
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Maybe It's Because...
Maybe the reason she uses 'papi' so much is becuase she lived in Puerto Rico. "Papi" is like the most used word in Puerto Rico and a person will say that to just about anyone. Men even call other men "papi" (which i find disturbing). It is used in the DR but it's not nearly as common as in PR. In the DR men also call women mami ....eventhough that is usually meant in a more 'sexual' perverted way. However, since she is married now...she should try to stop using that word so much because it does look REALLY bad when she is with her fiance/husban and she calls another man papi RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE!!!!!!!
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12-16-2004, 09:33 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 513
(10)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Larry
... If I told her not to call other men "papi" and she continued to anyway, I would dump her.
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larry, you might just find that if you ask her, she would be quite willing to change her habits.
mob
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12-16-2004, 09:51 PM
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Gold
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 3,367
(10)
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by mobrouser
larry, you might just find that if you ask her, she would be quite willing to change her habits.
mob
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No mobrouser, I would be TELLING her. I would be TELLING her that I did not want her to call other men papi. ASKING gives a choice. Just like if I was calling other women "baby" she would surely TELL me that she didn't want me to do that. And because I would understand that this was important to her, I would comply.
Larry
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