Lucky, no grammar or spelling test to get in
Or you'd be on the sidewalk.
If you act and look like gringos, you'll pay through the nose, and if you arrive in a taxi and they know it and you will pay through two noses. (They pay off the driver you know, but he won't tell you that)
In order, I have heard, of quality, Mona Lisa, Spa Michelle, then the rest, plus there are quite a few ads in the Listin Diario or Hoy classified ads for massage (ahem, ahem ) parlors you can call.
And then there are a few strip joints, none of which I have seen, the most notable being Remington Palace. I am sure you will get other recommendations. Skip Paco's and I have heard Jazzy's has reopened with bad reviews. Haven't been there either.
In the capital, you will probably be asked to pay RD$3000 or US$100 (which is RD$3500) and don't expect a lot of sympathy that you don't have the cash. If you use BOTH a tigre and a taxi, well, they will retire on you.
If you use a tigre ( English speaking Dominican guy who "helps" you) you will get fleeced three ways from Sunday and you will pay for EVERYTHING they eat, and drink, and the girls they bring you and what they eat . Essentially add a nose to pay through, so three noses if you are counting.
Another tip, avoid like the plague the rather copious mass of massage joints in Boca Chica as well (I have heard prices in the US$80 - 120 range).
Incidentally Boca Chica is as quiet mid week as say, the Bombay airport is at the peak of the travel season. You won't need to travel if you don't want to. There are fewer tourists but that doesn't make it quiet mid week.
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girls! girls!girls!
