Custody of child question
Dear DR1 people, I have a situation which is causing me a lot of turmoil. As I try to seek the correct way forward, I would greatly appreciate any thoughts, ideas, opinions and/or critisisms anyone may have. don´t really have anyone to discuss this. I would welcome a wide range of views. Thank you.
I am the legal British father of a two year old British/Dominican daughter. For the last two years my daughter has been living with her mother and I have been putting money into a bank account in the mother's name for my daughter's support for the last two years.
approximately three months ago, the mother moved to another town with her boyfriend and left my daughter in the care of HER mother and a sister. The mother now only shows up for an hour or two once a week.
From my perspective, it appears that the mother has abandoned our daughter.
In addition, the money I give each month does not appear to 'trickle down' to my daughter, who now lives in less than desirable conditions without either parent.
I have told the mother, if she doesn't want to care for our daughter, I want to be the father and that, under the circumstances, I want our daughter to live with me where she will be loved and cared for by at least one of her parents.
She refuses. She doesn´t want to care for our child, but she doesn´t want me to either. I have offered to continue the monthly ´payments´ to her if she lets my daughter live with me in order to hopefully take the financial equation out of her decision. Again she refuses.
I am lost. I don´t know what to do.
I want what´s best for my daughter and her future.
But what is best? to try to fight for custody with all the mess and problems involved? Accept the situation as-is?
It all seems such a hopeless mess. I don´t want my daughter growing up in a poor barrio without parents, while the mother enjoys my daughter´s ´pension alimenticia´.
I would greatly welcome any feedback on this.
Many thanks for your time.
Setting pride aside, it seems here that the issue is more about money than parenting. And since it's about money, you seem to have all the leverage...
The child needs you and you need to fight for her as she is helpless. As her father, you have rights. Find out what they are, and make it happen. Good luck, and never give up.
You have a good chance of winning custody and bringing your daughter with you to England. As you have said, the mother has abandoned her. The child's court here works with the child's interest in mind. You would have to prove why you are a better option. I do not think your custody case would be too difficult, especially since the child courts are quite straight here. Or at least that was my own knowledge from a case that I followed.
You should get a good lawyer and follow their advice. Probably Fabio Guzman, the moderator of this board, can give you some advice and may accept to carry your case.
Originally Posted by Nelly
Nelly, a child is not a trophy that you fight for, and the child's welfare precedes the rights that the individual parents may have. The OP mentioned that the child is with a grandmother and aunt, and that the mother visits occasionally. The father lives in the UK, and it is unlikely that the child will recognize the father once he travels to the DR to claim her. The OP does not mention abuse of any kind, only that the child lives in 'less than desirable' conditions. It would make more sense if you advise the OP to travel to DR and work things out with the child's mother and family.
Mirador, never did I suggest that the child was a trophy. The child is a LIFE that you fight for especially if you are the parent. You assume that the child doesn't know her father, even if you are correct, the child is only two years old and will adjust to life with her dad in the UK. His question was should he pursue custody under the circumstances and I advised that he should. I stand by that. The baby deserves the best of what life has to offer. Best of luck to the OP in this situation.
Assuming one was issued, were you named as the father on the birth certificate? This may have some bearing on you gaining custody.
Thank you for the responses and encouragement.
I´m resident in the DR.
I´m the legal father on the birth certificate.
I had a meeting with the mother this weekend to try to find an amicable agreement. It is hopeless.
I guess I am forced to explore legal recourse.
Good luck to you. The legal path is probably the best especially being you are a foreigner, even if you have residency.