Dominican women and cheating

G5ive · #1 06-23-2009, 02:04 PM

Hi,

There's something in my mind that keeps asking the same question over and over, "why do they put up with it?"

What I'm referring to is most or some Dominican women that put up with a cheating boyfriend. I saw a thread about polygamy in Dr, but it never really answered the questions that I'm asking.

My girlfriend has a few female cousins that have been going out with their boyfriends for years, 1 of them has been with her boyfriend for 6 years and the other one for 8 years. Both of these guys cheat on them, it's not big secret everyone knows and yet they accept it. They might get mad for a few minutes but go back to living a normal life.

The one that has been with her boyfriend for over 6 years lives in Boston and her boyfriend in Miami and they're getting married, and well the other couple live in DR and are planning on getting married after he's done with school.

My girlfriend used to go out with a guy that cheated on her constantly when she used to live in DR, even had a kid with another girl a month into their relationship and my girlfriend would get mad she said it would hurt but yet they continued in the relationship for 5 years? My girlfriend even accepted the little girl he had with another girl.

If you're only going out with someone, and that someone cheats on you constantly, why would you stick around? You're not married, there are no children and nothing that is holding that relationship together.

I've talked to a few that do not put up with the cheating, but for the most part a lot do.

Are Dominican women immune to being cheated on or what? can someone please school me on this?

catcherintherye · #2 06-23-2009, 02:18 PM

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

AlterEgo · #3 06-23-2009, 03:25 PM

I don't get it either, but I have my own theories. One of them is that it is so rampant there that many of these women think that ALL men cheat, and it becomes a sense of normalcy. I know a lot of middle and upper middle class Dominican women, and I'm constantly astounded at what they put up with. One is very beautiful, very educated, a couple of degrees, and owns/operates her own business in SD. A lovely person inside and out. She could not have children so they decided to adopt. Not long after, they got a call about a child abandoned in a hospital who needed medical treatment. They took care of the child's emergency treatment and adopted him. Four years later she found out the child was actually her husband's son with one of his girlfriends. She was devastated, but she loved the boy and didn't want to risk losing him in a divorce, so she stayed. The boy is now about 20, and her husband is still running around. She had a confrontation with one of his women last year when she caught them together. Their marriage is a mess, but she stays. He stays because he knows what he has, and he's very close to her family, who all love him [even though they know what he does]. I'd swear that she's never cheated on him.
Others have put up with all sorts of similar ridiculous situations, and when I ask WHY they stay I get varying replies.... 'all men do this', 'I don't want to be alone', 'but he's a good father/husband', 'all women have to expect this', etc. One very upper class woman I know has 3 sons with her [well-known] husband, and her husband also has 3 sons with his girlfriend. The 6 boys were raised together in both homes.
The New Yorker in me just can't wrap my brain around it.
On the other hand, my husband's sister divorced her 1st husband many years ago just because she saw him driving with a woman in his car in SD.

las2137 · #4 06-23-2009, 03:32 PM

From what I can see, it's cultural and handed down over the generations, to both men and women.

An American friend I had here in SDQ was engaged to marry a Dominican. She made it clear from the get-go that she would not tolerate cheating. He cheated anyway and the friend broke up with him immediately.

His family, with whom she was close, did contact her... but to tell her she was being unreasonable. His mother, at one point her future suegra, said, "This is just what men do, you have to get used to it. Now get over it and take him back." (BTW, he was from a prominent family with tons of money, so this wasn't a "trap the gringa" situation.)

The guy who cheated had a sister. I'm sure the mother taught her the same thing...

AZB · #5 06-23-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catcherintherye

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

hahahaha,
sadly I agree.
AZB

badpiece33 · #6 06-23-2009, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by G5ive

My girlfriend used to go out with a guy that cheated on her constantly when she used to live in DR, even had a kid with another girl a month into their relationship and my girlfriend would get mad she said it would hurt but yet they continued in the relationship for 5 years? My girlfriend even accepted the little girl he had with another girl.

Be careful she is probably still seeing him because she sees him as a real man and you probably as a pendejo who worships the ground she walks on.

badpiece33 · #7 06-23-2009, 04:13 PM

Men will be men anywhere on earth, it is not natural to be with one woman only, even though some of you manage to do it, God bless you guys, your much better than I ever can or will be. Dominican women accept this reality and as long as the man has his responsibilities straight and takes care of his woman and kids, then it is, if not acceptable it is ignored as long as he provides for his family.

Vacara · #8 06-23-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catcherintherye

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

Catcher what an opportunistic creature you are, thanks god you are a person cuz if you were a virus there would be no antibiotics for you. I hope this is not an indication of your personality cuz if it is you must be a sad person. I feel sorry for your neighbors.

suarezn · #9 06-23-2009, 05:49 PM

Badpiece got it. You can try to suppress the fact that you're a man and like other women all you want but that will never go away. It's a physiological thing. Now in our societies it's been drilled into us since we're little that "cheating" is a bad thing and shouldn't be done and as a result some people do suppress those feelings, others would probably like to but don't have a lot of choices so they stay with that one woman - Maybe they feel that's the best they can do.

Anyhow, Why do women stay? Mostly is because it is not seen as big of a deal in The DR as it is in The US. People would look at the woman like "Is she crazy staying around after this?" Kind of like you are right now...But in The DR there's not the same reaction from peers thus is a lot easier to stay in the relationship.

If on the other hand it was the woman who cheated it would be extremely hard for the guy to stay in the relationship even if he wanted to due to that same peer pressure. Every other guy would look at him like he was such a puss...it would be unbearable.

G5ive · #10 06-23-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catcherintherye

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

Doesn't it make more sense to just leave the person and do what you do without being tied to a boyfriend then?